I had a moment over the weekend where I realized how exciting things are. I have NO IDEA what I am going to do with my life and that is thrilling. Of course it is awful and scary and not what I would have set out for myself or planned, but this is where I am. It’s time to accept, meet myself where I stand, and embrace.
Spring semester started for me in January. My class schedule started out slowly, which was a good thing to ease me back into the pace of studying and work and parenting and life balance. I had met the professor for my 1st class last semester in one of our Women in STEM speaker sessions. It was very nice to feel that touch of familiar walking into the room.
The first class was a bit of a blur, but by the 2nd class I was certain I was going to love it. It’s going to be a lot of work – but it’s exciting work. Seriously, I am excited by it.
I brought that excitement to a Women in Tech meetup at a local University. First of all – I was 89% anxiety free that day. This is HUGE for me. I only knew one other person there, but I had done enough mental prep that I felt ok and calm. Before the event even started I found myself in one of those conversation huddles talking about block code and career paths. Many of the women there also had no idea what they wanted to do after they finished their schoolwork.
I told them: I wish there was a program like the wonderful symptom checker. We could plug-in our skill set, our interests, and maybe our personalities and it would tell us what we should be doing and where we should go. Maybe this is what a good college advisor can do. I should probably sit down with mine at some point…
There were many inspiring and motivational sessions at the Women in Tech gathering. It fueled me and propelled me to ponder. It’s made me ask questions: what DO I want to do? What do I LIKE to do? I have discovered that there are some things I am good at doing, but I’m not exactly fond of doing them. I keep being drawn to user interface and the user experience. It’s fascinating to think about what inspires us to click on a button.
Sometimes I do feel so old working on this now. Of course I wish I had followed my thread of computer science curiosity when I had it decades ago. But as I said, this is the work of meeting myself where I stand. When I was younger I followed another thread and it took to me to many exciting places and I met and loved many wonderful people. I’m following another thread now. I can be a tapestry.