On a morning last week I dropped W off at school and headed towards home. As I was driving I kept thinking about college and how I had all of these obstacles in my way. Sitting at a red light it hit me: I’M THE OBSTACLE. As several of you mentioned on my last post, if I wanted to start classes there were plenty of options to jump in and start.
Also, how did I even know what sort of financial delay I was looking at? I made the assumption without even talking to anyone. Completely whisked possibilities away because it wasn’t easy. Sheesh!
And there I was at this red light having all of these, “get out of your own way, lady!” kind of thoughts and I realized something else. I’d never actually been to the college. The physical place. Not once. I put on my signal, changed lanes, and off I went.
Driving towards the college felt nice. It felt proactive. It felt like I was in charge. You know, all of the crap I like to feel. I took a few laps around the school and found myself wondering, “why not go in and see if there is someone to talk to in there?” I was so not dressed like a women who had planned to take a tour of a prospective college. I was in your basic mom casual wear, but I didn’t let it stop the momentum. I got out of the car and started walking around.
The campus is nice. It’s got a cool fountain out front and lots of geese frolicking about. I walked into the first building I reached and asked someone where the admissions office was. They pointed me towards another building. So I kept on walking, aware of the butterflies and giddy feeling. Push, push, push through whatever this anxiety is. Push through the doubt and the quiet voice telling you this is hard or that this is weird or that this will be too much money.
So I pushed.
And I walked into the admissions office and met one of the loveliest people. We talked about the program I wanted to enroll in, we talked about finances, we talked about financial aid, we talked about timelines. Then she said something I had not prepared myself for: placement exam.
OH MY GOD.
Before I could give myself too much time to over think things I was issued a student id number (!!!) and scheduling a time to take the exam within 48 hours. When the admissions counselor handed me some paperwork to take with me and indicated we were done I couldn’t help but blurt out this freaky laugh/cry. I told her I had been convinced applying for college was going to be some big production and it was such a relief to see it was so simple. She told me, “that’s because you are on the right path.”
I certainly hope so. I am planning on taking the second session of classes for the summer. There are a few more hurdles to jump before then, but I am on my way. The placement exam was, uh, not so fun. I will be meeting with an academic advisor next week to go over the results of that and to schedule my classes.
(a few days ago I got my official acceptance letter in the mail and that was pretty thrilling)