On a complete and total whim I set up an online dating profile Friday afternoon. I haven’t even told my mom I did this. She is finding out from this blog because I am weirdly embarrassed to say anything out loud about dating.

In the past I have joked about how easy it was to navigate donor sperm websites because they seemed so much like online dating sites. HA HA HA. Nope. Maybe they were like the early 2000’s version of online dating, but the sites now are TERRIFYING. I don’t think I answered this many questions to apply for health coverage.

Then there is this pressure to be perfectly clever and awesome within every response. How exhausting. I am not perfectly clever and awesome. And do I really want to be matched with someone who would be expecting that? Not really. I just want someone who is kind, and silly, and knows what is going on in the world and cares about making a difference. How will we ever find each other within chunks of paragraphs?!

As I am in the middle of setting up the profile I kept getting these pop up flash messages letting me know guys are viewing my profile. HOLD ON! I AM NOT DONE. Once I set it up I had to walk away to take a breath. This was a huge, massive, giant leap for me. One that I am not entirely sure I am ready to take. But I figured I could set up the profile and see how I feel about next steps. Once I am ready to do whatever comes next surely I will know.

Then I watched some TV with mom on Friday night.  You know, how us single ladies do. This was a BIG mistake. If you are jumping into the world of online dating here is my advice for you: do not watch any TV and do not watch any movies.

We were catching up on old episodes of Major Crime and, oh, hey, so many plots about single moms and bad guys! Awful and terrible plots that are now forever in my brain. Complete with those quippy cop quotes, “you know these kinds of predators often prey on single moms with young children…” Yesterday we watched Boyhood and, without spoiling the plot of the film, I will simply say it does not make me feel great about the idea of dating and bringing someone into my family.

I woke up this morning pretty certain that I will be deleting my online profile and never risking going on a date with any guy ever.
online dating

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