iced coffeeI always hoped I would grow up to be a Clairee. The more honest I am with myself, and the closer I get to being 40, the more I need to accept I am a Ouiser. There is one line Ouiser says to M’Lynn that keeps running through my mind: I’m not crazy. I’ve just been in a bad mood for 40 years.

My bad mood hasn’t lasted that long, but it’s been hanging around long enough that I have given in and accepted that this is the way I am going to be for a while. It’s how I am going to be until I am not. I’ve done a medium job of keeping the crumbs of the messy mood to myself for a while, but I might as well just set the plate down now and let you have a look at it. All the food is touching and many of the courses have gone cold, but the stuff is still piled up.

Remember a year ago how I had that really horrible never-ending period? (ha, I was just about to make a really, really reaching Atreyu joke. You are welcome for stopping myself.) Anyhow, for the last year my lady town has just been awful. When my doctor couldn’t find anything to explain why I was bleeding for sometimes 3 weeks in a row my depression found a new level of UGH as I accepted that this was now my new “normal”.

{A little over a month ago I went back to the doctor and begged for help because I was exhausted. Truly exhausted. I am now attempting some BCP therapy to get the bleeding under control.}

I have anxiety about W’s school. I will not elaborate because NOPE. I am guessing most parents of kindergarteners have anxiety with new school and all new stuffs.

There have been several homes we have been *this close* to doing a dance with and nothing has panned out. That emotional ride is intense. I am horrible at house stuff because I am WAY too emotional. The good news is we reached a milestone with our savings so I can exhale (a tiny bit) there and we can continue to save. Saving money makes me feel like I am being active and that is a good thing.

Last week I had to have emergency oral surgery. THAT SUCKED. Of course it did. The filling of my back molar fell out and then the tooth cracked. This made it unsaveable and it also made it ridiculously difficult to extract. The tooth extraction was one of the most painful things I have endured. Ever. I will not even tell you all they did to get it out, it was dramatic and traumatic. Five days later and the pain is still radiating. Once things heal I will figure out the best way to replace the tooth.

There is more on my meh plate, but really it is my reaction to everything that is gross. I am ornery and bitchy and feeling so old and complainy. It feels like a YAWP to be able to say I AM IN A BAD MOOD. Because I think I am. I have to be. That’s got to be why I am so crispy around the edges.

The good news is I have mastered making iced coffee. So there’s that.

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