Donor Story Links:
Read Part 1 of Where do I fit in…
Read Part 2 of Where do I fit in…
Read Part 3 of Where do I fit in…
The absolutely comical bit about this happens to be the fact that my mother recorded Delivery Man onto our DVR this last week. I saw the film almost a year ago during a return flight from a work trip. Watching the movie that first time was incredibly upsetting. It was absurd! It was unrealistic! And where were the actual parents of the donor children? Why were there NO parents in the film?
Suddenly, faced with the brand new reality of our own personal donor story, the plot didn’t seem so very out there any more. Sitting in new light and circumstances I agreed to watch the film again with my mom.
Wow. It was an entirely different film experience for me. I was still annoyed by the lack of parents in the plot, but my mom explained it was not a movie about the parents. Of course I was irked by the missing characters because that was MY character in this saga.
Oh. Right. It ISN’T about me. It’s about the kids. It’s about the donor. I can’t believe a fucking Vince Vaughn movie brought this home to me, but finally the coin dropped.
So we are in a moment of pause with all of this because W has paused with his questions. I needed to remember that there will only ever be one first time in experiencing this new information and there is no need to rush it. W has always known his personal timeline best. Just because I am curious about these families and these kids doesn’t mean I need to get lost in the information. (this is really hard because there is a part of me that is zinging to set up meetings OMG)
The next time W brings up his donor maybe he will also bring up these special cousins and instead of an abstract talk he will have actual information (should he want it). The option is now his, where before it was not yet unlocked.
I hope I have handled the sharing of these last couple of weeks with care. The donor stories ultimately belong to W, but I have learned so much.