It isn’t mysterious at all, but faulty time management skills strike my life, yet again. I suppose I could just start writing without acknowledging the several days gap of NOT WRITING, but somehow that seems rude to myself. Lady, you haven’t been writing and that is lame. Yup. It is especially lame because there is a LOT of stuff that you wanted to write about but you didn’t make the time.
Honestly, when will I put time for me at the top of the list? I am writing now in a coffee shop I haven’t been to in a while. It is blissfully empty and I am watching college students gingerly navigate the icy and snowy sidewalks out the windows. There is no melancholy alt country music blasting from a speaker above my head, there is just the occasional sound of traffic.
I am telling myself, “write it all down!” and yet I keep hearing the clamor of the stuff I am not working on banging on the door of my time. POUND POUND POUND comes the fist of emails not read, POUND comes the the list of day job work that I know is waiting for me, POUND comes the project I need to get a jump start on, POUND POUND POUND comes the articles that are due. But I am taking this moment and putting myself in a bubble so I can trickle some of this stuff out, because if I don’t I will forget that it ever happened.
I toured a kindergarten
After several weeks of trying to get it on the schedule I was finally able to arrange for a time to go visit the charter school I am considering for W. Since we will not be able to financially afford to move before he starts school in the fall I want to have this school situation taken care of.
Mom was able to come on the tour with me, and I am so thankful for that as I was surprised that I was shocked into silence on the tour. The school is going to be great and W is going to love it, this I am certain of. What I need to let go of is some ridiculous fantasy that I had about his kindergarten. This school is small, not typical, but it is very structured and sticks to a routine that I think he will do well within.
I keep coming back to feeling a bit like I have failed him in not getting us out of this awful school district in time, but I know that I really am NOT failing him. These are just dumb feelings. I have found him an amazing school. It is helpful for me to think of this place as just his kindergarten at this point because the goal is still very much for us to move in a year.
I went to the gyno
My appointment was scheduled for the day of The Big Snow in Philly so Mom took W with her to work (I am so grateful!) and I went to the doctor’s office and sat in their lobby in the hopes that I could be seen before my 1:00pm. The office was amazing in getting me in early and I really like the doctor I saw for the visit. I have previously seen the OB for my miscarriage and D&E and an NP last fall when I had the never-ending period.
The doctor performed my yearly (get your pap done, ladies) and we talked about the state of my lady town. She said it’s not menopause and based on my lack of other symptoms she does not believe it is perimenopause. This leaves us with the great, “well, what IS it?” moment. I am to get lots of blood work (will include some familiar hormone blood work from IF days, and the addition of prolactin), an ultrasound of ladytown, and a uterine biopsy. Then I will see the doctor again to discuss the results of all of this.