A resolution, by definition, feels rigid and structured. It seems certain for failure. It feels unachievable. Goals, however, don’t have the aura of a ultimatum around them. Instead they feel like the object you reach for on your journey.
You can acknowledge that your journey will be long and arduous, but as long as you have a goal it seems doable.
I won’t make any resolutions for 2014. I won’t vow to quit or stop or begin a behavior. Instead I want to put out some clear goals for myself.
Most of these goals will be easy to meet, some will be really hard, but if I don’t check off “done!” I know the cause is not lost.
Notes to myself: you may change this list as the year changes. You do not need to set goals for your mother or your child. You do not need to set goals for other people at all. You should probably stop trying to fix other people in 2014 – how about we make that a goal? You win every day you show up, but “showing up” is more than being awake. Strive to SHOW UP every day. If you are having a hard day, because hard days can happen and they often do, you owe it to your people to tell them. You do not need to be a perfect parent to W so do not you dare make that a goal for yourself. I MEAN IT. You are facing this new year with your shoulders back and with so much optimism and hope. (but not the obnoxious fake hope) Meet 2014 with a handshake and a smile on your face, and for goodness sake’s a good fitting bra.
Goals for 2014
• walk for 30 minutes, three days a week, try to build up to five days a week
I have made working out a zero priority and that just sucks. I need to start somewhere. There is a track at W’s school and my goal is to walk it for 30 minutes after I drop him off.
• write on creating motherhood for 30 minutes, three days a week, build up to five days a week
Like walking, I have made writing for myself a low priority. I write to remember everything and to own my story. If I am not taking the time to write it down I will have nothing. Between walking for 30 minutes and writing for 30 minutes I am telling myself I am due an hour to recharge and those are activities that fuel me.
• cut monthly grocery bills by 20%
Time to tighten the belt on this!
• reduce gas consumption by 35%
I have no idea if this is a low or high goal so I will adjust accordingly. Essentially I want to make “become more fuel-efficient” a priority.
• spend one hour every Saturday decluttering
I have held on to too many things. Just this week I finally let go of W’s stroller. I need to accept that I may never have another child and clear away childish things from our home. If there is ever a moment where this dream can be revisited I will have fun shopping for new things. I believe if we make decluttering a weekly family project it will be less overwhelming. Every saturday can become dedicated to making donations as well.
• spend one hour every Sunday cleaning the house
I get very overwhelmed with house cleaning and having us create a routine that we all do together will help this. W is amazing with chores and having projects.
• wake up earlier, go to bed earlier
W wakes up at 5:30 every day – no matter what. Some days it is even earlier. Thanks to my thyroid disease I am one of those people who needs 9 hours of sleep a night. Because I go to bed so late (I could offer up an excuse, but usually it is just catching up on work) I end up getting 5 hours of sleep. I would like to try to go bed at 10 and see what life is like with more sleep.
• create a better work schedule
I could benefit from better time management. My number one priority is getting W to school. After that I try to work a four-hour chunk before I dedicate my afternoons to hanging with W. It’s getting the other 3-4 hours of work done in the day that I am always struggling with. And by struggling I mean I stay up late to do.
1. the act or an instance of resolving
2. the condition or quality of being resolute; firmness or determination
3. something resolved or determined; decision
4. a formal expression of opinion by a meeting, esp one agreed by a vote
5. a judicial decision on some matter; verdict; judgment
1. the aim or object towards which an endeavour is directed
2. the terminal point of a journey or race