pumpkinThis weekend W watched The Wizard of Oz for the first time. We have been talking about the story for a while and this Sunday he declared he was ready to see it. Watching a movie, a classic, through the eyes of your child is a trip.

I kept finding myself looking at his face and not the TV. I wanted to see him experience the magic of black and white to vivid color. W liked the movie a lot but he did not care for the Wicked Witch. He did, however, think the flying monkeys were pretty cool.

a house?

Friday we went and looked at a house. If I described the house there would probably be much celebrating as it certainly hits almost all of our musts and our wants for the next rental. It was in a great school district, had access to public transit, had the correct number of bedrooms, even had TWO bathrooms, and a bit of a backyard space.

A friend who is a parent of a student in W’s school knows a real estate person and he arranged to show us the property Friday night. We walked in and I knew instantly it wasn’t the one. I pushed on and kept touring the house, but it just didn’t feel right. It was at the extreme top of our budget so we decided we needed to be smart and not force ourselves into a property.

The silver lining is that we liked the real estate guy. I have been emailing with him today and I have essentially placed our hopes into his inbox. He has our must list and the list of school districts we are ok with. It feels like we have just kicked it up a notch and I like it.

Family Matters Conference

Saturday W and I went to the 4th Annual Family Matters Conference. The day conference is sponsored by Philadelphia Family Pride and is mostly set up for LGBTQ parents and prospective parents. I went to support my friend Robin who put in a LOT of work into the conference. I also went because Cory Silverberg was going to give the keynote and lead some classes. Cory is the author of What Makes a Baby, my favorite book to explain where babies come from.

Cory’s keynote was brilliant. HE was brilliant, and charming, and funny, and kind, and I cried when he started reading his book and again when I was able to introduce him to W. One of my favorite takeaways from Cory was: “Make space for stories we can’t even imagine.” How quickly do we rush to identify something within our kids: “my kid is such a jock!” “my kid is such a geek!” “my kid is such a shy guy!” We say these things, but why? It certainly doesn’t do anything to benefit our kids. It can actually be a lot of pressure. So make the space. We have no idea who our kids will be.

{I am focussing on one part of his keynote and there was quite a lot, so my favorite nugget may not land properly without all of his context.}

An amusing moment of the conference was when I went to the wrong session in the morning and ended up in a “how to make a baby” workshop. I tuned out for a lot of it, but I did realize I could teach baby-making 101. I am not sure if this is something I should list on my resume as a special skill or not, but it’s always nice to know you have knowledge. After the session I spoke to the RE who was leading it and we talked about my embryos and the clinic I have been going to. I now have some stuff to think about. As in, I may want to move the embryos and do my final try at another clinic. I’ve got plenty of time to research, but it was something new to consider.

The most moving part of the conference was the teen panel at the end of the day. Comprised of teens who have two moms or two dads it was incredibly eye opening. I was particularly interested in the teens who were conceived via donor sperm and asked them what they thought about meeting donor siblings. I am not anywhere near broaching this subject with W, but being able to talk to kids who have navigated this journey was fascinating. One of the girls shared that when she was older she planned on finding and connecting with donor siblings. The other girl told us about her on-going relationships with her 1/2 siblings and how her parents presented the information to her (way too early, in her opinion, in the 6th grade).

There is no rule book on how to navigate this territory so I appreciated hearing such honest responses from teens.

we got a pumpkin

I am not allowed to carve it. When I explained pumpkin carving to W he looked physically ill. I think we will try paining a face on him.

• mid-night writing yields blah, apologies for the blah

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