When I arrived to pick up W from school on Monday his teacher gestured for me to meet her in a quiet part of the hallway. We talked about a program the class will be starting next week and how she wanted W to be the first one to kick off the program. It’s essentially a “student of the week” kind of deal and every day the class learns a new and interesting fact about the student of the week. W and I are to bring in photos, props, foods, whatever to illustrate what makes him special and unique.

There was a pause in our conversation and then W’s teacher said, “So W tells me you are having a baby? And you just found out it’s a boy?”

I just blinked at her. WHAT?

“He’s been talking about you having a baby for a while, but this is the first time he has mentioned he was having a brother so…”

So I told her no. No I am not having a baby. I told her how long it took for W to be and that I had tried twice last year to some pretty shitty results. This led to her sharing some of her own story. So she gets it. She gets the gut punch of having your kid tell the class he is going to be a big brother when that is just not going to happen.

In the car I casually ask W, “So…what’s this about you being a big brother?” He replied, “I’m going to have a baby brother and I am going to name him Chewbacca.” HA. So I think some part of this is wishful thinking and some part of this is play. I told him, “I just want you to know: I do not have a baby seed in my tummy right now so there is no way you could be having a little brother any time soon. If I am able to try again I will make sure you know.” He was quiet, watching the trees zoom by out the window. It seemed like 10 minutes went by before he finally said, “ok.”

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