This interview appeared in yes and yes on October of 2011. I have made some clarifications and updates.
When did you begin to think about having a baby on your own?
I had a moment in college I imagine a few women did: I was certain I was going to have a very large and amazing life full of romance and career success. But there was a flash where I thought, “but if I don’t have kids by ___ age I will call up ____ and we will take care of that!”
I didn’t seriously think about becoming a single mother until my entire life changed. I left my career in the film industry in Los Angeles and moved to Alabama to take care of my Grandmother who was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. After the first year of being her primary caregiver something sort of shifted inside of me – I don’t think it was a biological clock- I was only 28 at the time-but this sort of maternal light turned on and I felt if I wanted to be a Mother, NOW might be a good time.
ADDING: The biggest reason why I felt like it would be such a good time was because I could not imagine any other time in my life where I would be home full time. The idea that I could be home and taking care of my Grandmother as well as raising a child seemed like PERFECT planning. In retrospect I am shocked how naive I was about how hard that would have been. Obviously I was still in early days of caregiving and did not know what was coming, but when I think back on how I had it all planned out I chuckle.
Why did you choose to go this route instead of adopting or fostering?
This is an interesting question that has several answers. The first answer is I come from a small family and had just lost my Grandfather. I imagine my desire to have a biological child was just as strong as any other woman’s in a married or partnered relationship. That I was single just meant I needed to go through a few extra steps.
The next answer is adopting and/ or fostering a child in the United States is not an easy thing to do as a single woman.