After my first OB appointment for my winter pregnancy I started to get paperwork from my insurance company about prenatal programs. I shoved it into a drawer and assumed that I would come back to it when I was ready to investigate hospitals and classes.
Two weeks after I miscarried I got more stuff in the mail from my insurance company. It was brutal.
Three weeks after I miscarried I started getting coupons and vouchers for baby related items from my insurance company.
I stuck my head in the sand on this. The idea of calling someone up and going through prompts and holds and finally finding the right person to explain that I was not going to be welcoming a bundle of joy in the Spring of 2013 seemed overwhelming. I just figured eventually the billing part of the company, the one that had dealt with my D & E would catch up to the, for lack of a better word, promotional part and the mail would fade away.
On the morning of my follow up exam with the OB I was counting down the minutes to drive to the hospital when my phone rang. It was my insurance company. They wanted to know how I was feeling. They wanted to know if I had any questions. They wanted to know if I was interested in signing up for prenatal classes.
I explained that I was no longer pregnant.
The voice on the other end of the phone was so kind, so sweet, so thoughtful. She told me that she was sorry for my loss. She told me that she would be thinking of me. She asked if I wanted to speak to a nurse or a grief counselor. It was a hard call to have, but not because of her.
A few days later more mail arrived from my insurance company and I almost chucked it into the trash before opening it.
I am glad I did not. It was a sympathy card. Inside was a sweet and comforting message and cards to grief counselors “so I will have the number in case I suddenly need it”.
There is nothing perfect to say or hear after a miscarriage – but having an insurance company acknowledge the moment in this was was actually pretty lovely and I am thankful.