Photo Credit: Onelovephoto.com

I am not married. I have never been married. But one day? I will be someone’s wife. I have it all figured out.

It was probably four or five years ago when I realized I was third wife material. I was giving internet dating a try and recognized swiftly that men in my age bracket were looking for something specific. I was not it.

Here is my theory: men from my generation typically have found their first love in college or grad school. They are happily married and creating families by the time they are in their early 30’s. A few years later that marriage has either thrived or died.

A failed first marriage prompts the turn of events that lead to the second wedding. The second wedding/marriage is also recognized as “everything the first was not”. The opposite bride. This could mean a very young bride/ trophy bride. This is the bride that tells the world, “SEE?! I can totally get a beautiful woman to marry me!”

If the 2nd marriage wasn’t built on solid ground it won’t last. We’ve all seen that movie.

Then comes the third act and three things can now happen to make this a truly successful RomCom: 1) the gentleman returns back to wife #1 and they make it work 2) the gentleman decides marriage will never be for him again and he just enjoys frolicking through eharmony for sport or 3) he meets me, in the library, and I let him borrow my pen.

I blew my chance to be someone’s first wife by only dating duds in college and after college I only dated musicians. Oh and I was also totally married to work.

I could never be anyone’s trophy wife because I am old and not fetching.

So third wife. That is where my love story will go.

Of course if you reread the first sentence to this post you will be reminded that I have never been married so I do not know what I am talking about.

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