a canyon from the skyI took this photo from above. I was soaring over America and marveling at the specks I could make out. This is a canyon. No idea if it is THE canyon (aka the grand canyon) or just some random breathtaking site that looks even more stunning and complex from the sky.

I still feel like I am floating between dream and reality. The dream of course being that I am totally pregnant and going to have a baby in January. The reality being that I am totally NOT pregnant and probably will not be able to try again until January.

My local clinic did call me back to say that they were not concerned with my numbers from the emergency room – different labs will create different results. (see? You guys that leave comments here are very smart!) Hopefully tomorrow’s lab will continue the downward trend.

You know what is not awesome? Getting a bill from your clinic for all of the betas that have been run thus far. $1600 bucks. And while of course I get that nothing is free – it is all kinds of bullshit that I “get” to pay for this specific kind of awful. Not only will there be no baby but you can also now pay us the rest of your savings to wallow in the fact. Weekly.

I think I am moving into the anger stage of mourning.

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