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I went to the clinic this morning for the beta drop blood draw. I discovered that I am existing in a sort of wrinkle in time as far as my identity as a patient at the clinic. I sit down and extend my arm to the blood tech and she looks at the paperwork I have filled out.

Her: Cycle day four?

Me: Well it is day four of bleeding.

Her: Ok so we need to get these levels…{and she checks off the typical baseline labs}

Me: And hcg. I need to get an hcg check.

Her: Not for baseline, sweetie.

Me: Ok – so maybe this isn’t baseline? I need to find out if my beta is dropping correctly.

Her: Oh. {takes black sharpie and crosses out where I wrote CD4} You don’t need these other tests.

Me: I don’t think so, no.

{she grabs a pen and writes, “miscarriage” under my name}

Her: Sorry about this, honey.

Me: So do I fill out a call back form for the IVF nurses?

Her: No you are a pregnancy patient.

Me: Even though I am not pregnant?

Her: Well you are until this hcg says zero.

DUDE. That seriously sucks. I am thankful that I am behind some of the more powerful triggers that had me weeping this weekend, but having to fill out a pregnant patient form when you KNOW things are not pretty in the ute is awful. I mean it isn’t epic awful, more like “I just bled all over your pregnancy paperwork” awful.

There should be an in between form. Even if it still gets directed to the pregnancy department there should still be an option. Something like “trying to get knocked up” vs “knocked up” vs “knocked down”. Because that is what this is – knocked DOWN.

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