This past weekend I got together with one of the coolest people who you should know. I met M through an active infertility support group just outside of DC. (I talk about the group in another super long post so if you are the type that likes a back story get in the time machine and head on over to December, 2009.) M is one of those people who you meet for the 1st time and instantly just start talking as if you have known each other since forever.
I can’t talk about M without telling you about her daughters. Her girls were born at 21 weeks, 5 days and lived for just a few hours. This is a reality that repaints your soul, shape-shifts you. You face the world differently. Questions that seem so easy to answer for others are no longer black and white. Often M is asked, “do you have any children?” It is a question many women our age get asked. It’s a conversation starter.
While M was in town for her work conference she was asked repeatedly if she had any children by well-meaning strangers. Eager and expectant smiles waited for her answer. As she bravely answered their question and shared her and her husband’s story drawbridges were lowered. People who had never spoken of their own loss or experiences with infertility met her story with their own.
Sharing your truth is a powerful unifier. We should never assume that our lives are not worthy of sharing the full story.
M and I caught up over cider at the Field House in downtown Philly and talked about the big events about to happen in her life. As she shared how all of these moments had unfolded I had this image in my head of green lights. Many people who have survived tragedy stop looking for the green lights. We just endure and hope to survive the day. The timing could be off, or maybe we are just totally oblivious. But sometimes there are these magic moments in life where all of the lights are green just when you need them to be.
There is a street that leads from my neighborhood to downtown Philly that has magic green lights. If you find your flow, find the groove, relax with your speed, you can drive the entire road without stopping for a red light. Sometimes life happens like that. It really does. All things line up, we don’t move too fast or too slow, we just go with the flow, and sail through the green.
M is about to embark on a surrogacy journey. It has been a long time hoping and planning but right now all of the lights on her journey are emerald-green. It’s a beautiful thing.