Earlier this week W was watching an episode of Dora for the bazillionth time. It’s the one about the baby penguin that Dora has to return to the South Pole. To be specific Dora must return the penguin to its “Mama and Papa”. In the bazillionth viewing W skipped over to where I was sitting and asked with incredible concern, “Where’s W___’s Mama and Papa?” I replied, “Well your Mama is right here and you don’t have a Papa. You have a Lolly.” This was fine for a moment but then came, “Where Penguin’s Lolly?”

And so I launched into one of our, “not every family looks the same” talk. It helps that we have such a wonderful and diverse friend pool that I we can talk about. We talk about our good friends that are a family of a Mom and a Dad AND a Grandmother.  We talk about another family has one Mommy but a Grandmother and Grandfather that live nearby. I know W likes to hear that he has two people.

During the holidays W and I talked about siblings. He has friends at school that have baby siblings and he has often asked where his brother is. Once I had made the decision to call the Northeast Clinic I wanted to talk to W to let him know that I was going to try to add to our family. Going through this is a nice way to help him understand how his own story began. It’s also a nice moment to remind him that families are made in so many different ways. For us to add to our family I need to see a doctor.

Today W and I traveled to a courthouse in another state to watch my friend LJ and her husband officially add a little brother to their home. It was so special to witness the moment where the paperwork said what had been true in hearts for months – this is a family. These are parents, these are brothers, and those people over there are Grandparents. Forever.

I won’t sugar coat W’s behavior today though. I know us waking up at 4am to make the trip was a lot to ask of him and I paid for it in court and at the pancake celebration afterwards. Full on thrashing, screaming, running, pretty much everything was stressing me out. I usually leave situations when W is not able to focus but this was a not to be missed day. I am relieved that the judge was incredibly tolerant of him. I am still in a ball of stress about it though. oooof!

Here’s to families! And here’s to all of the people in our life that make them exist.

in court


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