I’m at the coffee shop right now and am taking a break from work. I’m tired. Even two cups of coffee aren’t doing it for me.
When I picked up W from school yesterday one of his teachers said he was talking about “Daddy”. She said he was telling the other kids that “Daddy is coming”. When I asked him about it in the car, super casual, “Who is Daddy?” all I got as a response was one of his playful, “noooooo!” The same no I would get if I asked him if he wanted broccoli for breakfast.
I took a breath and thought, well maybe this is it. This is that moment that I was preparing myself for. I said, “W doesn’t have a Daddy. You have a Mama and a Lolly. Mama used a donor to help make you.” I paused to see if there would be a response, some reaction to this HUGE NEW WORD I just tossed out into the air of the car. “So it’s W, Mama and Lolly. And doctors and a donor helped make you.”
In my head I was thinking, “you are soooooooooo fucking this up.”
There was no sound coming from the back of the car. Just the squeak of the windshield wiper blades sweeping across the window in front of me. Then, “Lolly at work?”
I have no idea if the new word or new ideas landed or if it was all blah blah blah after I said Lolly’s name. But it’s clear that now is the time that I need help W own his story.
This morning when I dropped W off his other teacher pulled me aside and informed me that yesterday W had strongly shoved two students and needed two long time outs to calm down. She was surprised, as was I, as W is incredibly mellow in school. And generally he is an easy-going fellow with other kids. But I did notice when we were in Maryland last week that he was having some issues communicating boundary issues with others.
The concern in school is that W is not just bigger than every kid in class (he is officially in 4Ts now) but he is very strong. He also doesn’t know his strength. I really hope this shoving doesn’t become a trend.
Now how about some bullet points?
• We no longer have Millie’s car. We now have a used navy crossover type car. It has air conditioner and a heater!
• My first post at Aiming Low is up!
• I am probably going to increase my hours at AboutOne – which is awesome because I love the company, but it is a transition.
• W is now enrolled in long preschool. This means he goes 3 days a week from 8:30 – 3:00.
• I’m thinking about doing that chemical hair straightening thing.
• I am still working with LJ creating about a site a month through Plaid House
• And then there is the media kit design stuff with Cecily
• I’m planning on having a DVD viewing party for the movie Bridesmaids. I wish you could come.
• I bought a new domain name and now I don’t know what to do with it.