Sometimes I am surprised by how surprised I can be. I see something, read something, and my reaction – or should I say the size of my reaction can take me aback.
These little earthquakes
Doesn’t take much to rip us into pieces
Really it is the resurfacing of an old close friend that always knocks me down. It happened twice this week. A comment on an old photograph on facebook and I am reminded of the friend that wanted no involvement with my choice to be a single mom. And then the link to the wedding album of one of my childhood best friends. I didn’t realize she was engaged.
Obviously these friendships have evolved and shape-shifted into a modern-day friendship 2.0. We kindly and sweetly remark on victories and make no comment on failures. 2.0 friendships are not meant for support, that is what real friendships are for.
But I will confess that sometimes it stings to not be in the life of someone who I once was so intertwined with, even though I can clearly see that the only thing we now have in common is a past. When you don’t know a single bridesmaid in the wedding of someone who was once your best friend chances are that you and your era of friendship are safely packed away in a shoebox that has ticket stubs to Lilith Fair and an empty cd case for the Pulp Fiction soundtrack.
This is not where I say I am sitting here weeping and pining away. Not at all. It just startles me.
Friendships are always evolving, always. Sometimes there is a moment when it becomes too much of a chore to keep up with someone (as opposed to a delight) then you know that a friendship is shifting. There’s that sort of moment when you say the words, “best friend” or “good friend” when talking about a person and you realize that doesn’t fit anymore.
I’ve been on both ends of the friendship shape shift. I remember trying SO HARD to stay close with friends of mine from New York and being so crushed when that want wasn’t reciprocated. I also know that I have faded away for friends that have wanted to stay close to me. Sometimes there just isn’t a reason. The shift just happens.
That doesn’t mean when you see their name in your facebook feed you don’t still sometimes feel that old emotion and connection. It just means that if you actually DO end up commenting on their wedding be ready to have a bunch of strangers ask who you are.
Some Other Things:
• Making the transition to working 20 hours a week is hard. My job now is a bit results driven so I am focused on learning how to make a realistic work schedule for myself. Right now it’s a lot of 1am moments.
• I found out that some of the people in the video contest I am in are being, shall we say, creative, in how they get entries. They are not breaking actual rules, but it pretty much means it is a HUGE long shot for me to win. If you feel like betting on the horse in the back of the race you can still vote for me. (because we all know my video is the best. heh)
• OMG I was just on a radio talk show with the super cool Issa Mas talking about single women and IVF. Not sure if there will be a transcript or podcast to share- but while I was very nervous, I kind of loved it.
• Back to my new job… I’m doing a bit of matchmaking between bloggers and this great organizational service called AboutOne. Check out the link and if the service looks interesting to you (either as something to review on your site or just as a person that wants to try it out) let me know using my comment form (see the link over there in the sidebar?) and I will write back with something cool 🙂
• And you guys HAVE entered the giveaway to win the $100 Walgreens gift card from BlogHer, right?
• I am literally a week behind in blog reading. What’s going on out there??