Before you get to scratching your head and give yourself an awful Monday morning brain sprain, no I am not using PIO or in a place where such medications are being uttered. Except, well, it turns out I kind of am. This weekend I installed google’s webmaster tools to help me monitor information for Who Wants To Know (we write daily, ya’ll- it’s good!) and on a whim I decided I should add Creating Motherhood as a site to monitor as well. I don’t concern myself with SEO on this site because after 6 years of content I’ve got, well, content.

But one of the tools that everyone else always seems to trot out and laugh over regarding their own blog is a list of these crazy and random search engine terms that bring people to their site. The list for my blog seems typical: single mother, infertility, IVF, the name of my blog…but then there are literally 15 different search terms referencing ass injections. And each one of those search terms has brought someone to my blog hundreds of times. And each time to the same sad, sad post with no real help.

So as a favor to those people out there searching for information on: ass injections, butt injections, bottom shots, ass shot, buttock injection, buttock shot, gluteus medius injections….I could go on. I’ll stop now. Here is how I survived nearly 20 weeks of intramuscular progesterone in oil injections in my hip/butt/bottom/ass:

Tools you will need (feel free to improvise): PIO in bottle, syringe, washcloth, alcohol swab, microwave, sink, 18 or 22 gauge needle, 25 gauge needle, sharps container (empty diet coke bottle)

1) get washcloth damp in skink

2) heat washcloth in microwave for 15 seconds

3) put 18 gauge needle on syringe and pull up amount needed from PIO bottle

4) gently roll PIO filled syringe in heated, damp washcloth and count to twenty

5) remove needle from syringe and put in sharps container

6) put washcloth in microwave and heat for 5-8 seconds

7) put smaller gauge needle on syringe

8 ) take heated washcloth and massage area where you will give yourself an injection

[I liked to twist at the hip and imagined I was injecting in an imaginary blue jeans back pocket.]

9) take alcohol swab and gently swipe area on your hip

10) slowly push needle attached to syringe into your hip and push on plunger sending medicine in

11) slowly remove needle and apply pressure to the area with warm washcloth

12) remove needle from syringe and place in sharps container

13) feel like a rockstar, repeat next day…

Hopefully I didn’t miss a step there. What other tips should we give these search engine folks looking for help on injections?

And what interesting searches have brought people to your blog?

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