Dear July 2010,

I don’t usually write open letters, or any kind of letters, to months of the year. Well except for December. But I don’t think it is a secret that I have a crush on December. It’s a peppermint and boots thing, you wouldn’t understand.

Mostly I wanted to take a moment to tell you goodbye. If this was a scene in a movie you would be finding this note folded up between two candlesticks on the mantle place. You would have walked by, sweat dripping off of you, stinking of humidity, and probably not have noticed the note at first. But when the hot, hot noon sun hit the metal of the candlesticks you would become aware that something was different.

You would hoist your sticky bottom up and peel your shorts away from your thighs and move to the note, maybe a bit excited to see “July” written in my uppercase penmanship. You would pull out a towel to mop your brow, maybe smearing a bit of the ink in the first paragraph, and then shuffle to the kitchen where you will read the rest of this in front of an open refrigerator door.

July. Oh July. I am done with you.

I know that there are always high points in a relationship and so I can always look back and remember fondly Schlubfest 10 and W beginning to walk. Those are two amazing moments to cling to and smile. There are peripheral moments that have nothing to do with you but everything to do with you. The chaos that happened was awful, but the love and support of my friends was amazing. Do I thank you for that? I honestly don’t know.

The low points don’t warrant a repeat mentioning. You know what they are, I know what they are, the internets know what they are. A human being can only take so much before she throws up her hands and screams, “enough!” Honestly. I have had enough of you, July. I’m done.

Tomorrow I am meeting a new month. I have nice associations with the month already. And the month has already promised me some good times. I even got daring and planning a meeting with my sister and her daughters on the very first day of this new month- that is how much stock I have in the month.

July, I am sure there are others out there that enjoyed you, and I think you should seek those people out and relish in that love. But to be blunt – you wont find that love here. Please move on.

Coolest Regards,


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