Thank you for the hand holding yesterday. Today is a fresh start. A chance to power through and be in the moment. A good friend, who is still suffering the reverberation of a recent end of a pregnancy, wrote to me last night about the idea of having a memorial. I will admit that at the time I read her e-mail it didn’t click for me. This morning, however, it does.
There has been a lot of loss recently. And before that. And before that. And before that. So many of us have either had a loss of pregnancy or known someone that did. With each announcement of a loss, and maybe this is just me, but each post of loss brings me right back to my loss. My unpregnant moments. And then the moments of friends. It is a circle of sadness.
One of the shitty things about loss, especially this kind (& please forgive me the word “loss”. I know many of you hate that word, but for lack of a better one at the moment I am using it) is that there are so many dates to smack you upside the face. There are the dates of trimesters not reached or estimated due dates not achieved…almost birthdays, almost first days of school. All of those damn almosts.
This year there is a date on our calendar that only shows up every four years. This year I propose that we take a small moment of this “extra” day and commemorate our losses. On February 29th post whatever feels right to you to honor your grief. You can simply post a photograph, or a poem, a post with no words…whatever helps you through. If you have not known loss first hand you can post in friendship for those that have.
If you don’t have a place to post I will post anything you wish to share on that day on my blog.
If anyone would like to create a symbol for this memorial please contact me. I did some research, but nothing is feeling quite right.