month 2

All legs

by on June 3, 2009

{ 30 comments }

Thanks for all of the hand holding over my computer melt down. There is a bit of sunshine on that horizon and I don’t dare exhale in case I dreamed it. It might be awesome, I am clinging to that. Yesterday was a jam packed, full, and long ass day. We started the day officially [...]

Things I am learning

by on May 24, 2009

{ 16 comments }

Yolanda and Whitaker

My dear friend, Dr. Molly, has left on a jet plain and I am sad. I have led a pretty isolated life since we moved to Florida and it is always good when people that know me inside and out visit and remind me that I am a person. I got a great taste of [...]

When I see you smile…

by on May 14, 2009

{ 26 comments }

almost smile

It started happening a few days ago. W is smiling! And holy shit people- having a smiling baby is the most indescribable thing ever. Being able to talk to him and jiggle his feet and then see a grin that goes from one end of his face to the other is the best moment of [...]

Bitter, sweet

by on May 9, 2009

{ 38 comments }

Mother

Most of the things in life right now can be summed up as one of those two things: bitter or sweet. You would think that this might leave me at a constant crossroad of emotional hang ups never knowing whether to laugh or cry. And it does. I am often running between the lines of [...]

Instant Silver Lining

by on August 13, 2008

{ 16 comments }

So I was all set to write a nice and classic rager for you guys. It was going to full of ire regarding the fact that I was not able to be seen at my local OB today because someone in their office forgot to tell me that they needed ALL of my health records. [...]

This & That: The weekend edition

by on August 11, 2008

{ 19 comments }

*So while I still firmly have a vat of fear that I routinely bathe in there are some things that are happening internally that are oddly and freakishly comforting. Yesterday the gagging, retching, barfing sensation kicked in. I couldn’t find a comfortable position to keep things chill. It literally felt like there was a lava [...]

The Sound of Silence.

by on August 8, 2008

{ 43 comments }

It has been an extremely long and hard week. I am pretty beat down and exhausted so I doubt this will be one of those pretty and eloquent posts. Alzheimer’s is fucking hard. Even on a good day it is hard. On a bad day it is soul-sucking. GM had a relatively “normal” Tuesday. She [...]

Normal is lovely.

by on August 2, 2008

{ 80 comments }

This morning I was laid back on a table crinkling with starch white paper. GM had been wheeled over to my side and she was holding and squeezing my hand. Mother was next to GM and holding and squeezing my foot. And a tech named Willow showed me something amazing on a screen: my one [...]