Who is Calliope?

Why hello there.

I wrote the original text of this “who is Calliope” a while ago and I recently realized that it really doesn’t tell you much about who I am. It tells you that this is my blog, but other than that you are left to yourself and must take a dive into and through my archives to get to the nitty-gritty.

And maybe you just don’t have the time to wade through 5+ years of my nearly daily musings. (seriously. who does?)

Allow me to give you a synopsis: my tag line, if you will. To start with I am single. So single that I am not even looking. My preference leans towards the educated lumberjack type, someone that appreciates swearing and can put up with my need to be an expert at everything (even when I am clearly not). As I am home-bound the odds of my meeting such a specimen are pretty slim.

Oh! I bet now you are wondering why I am “home-bound”. It’s simple- I am a full time granddaughter. This means that in early 2003 I left my life on the West Coast and decided to become the caregiver for my groovy (yet genteel) Southern Grandmother who is fighting a losing battle with Alzheimer’s.

If you had asked me 10 years ago if I ever wanted kids I totally would have laughed & made some inappropriate comment about sperm banks. The irony is that as soon as I learned how rewarding care-giving could be I knew I wanted to be a mother and then I realized that sperm banks would, in fact, feature prominently in my life’s journey.

In the Spring of 2005 I began to actively try to become a single mother. I now have the unique bitterness that comes from 13 failed IUI’s, 1 failed home insem, 1 canceled IVF, 1 successful IVF and 1 miscarriage. I have been on clomid, femara, repronex, menopur, follistim and bravelle. My body has morphed and shifted and my heart has broken more times that I ever thought possible.

There have been setbacks, oh goodness the setbacks! In addition to the obvious spermy setbacks of trying to conceive without a partner, there have been surgeries, depressions, the end of savings, the refusal of doctors to treat me (due to my marital status), family dramas, and don’t even get me started on the great hepatitis C scare of 2007!

I use an assumed name here & on blogs that I read. I do that for many reasons, some obvious, some not. If you know me in life beyond the blog I would appreciate it if you would hold off on using my real name.

If you are here looking for medical advice I can’t give it to you. If you have medical advice I’d love to hear it.

All that aside, I welcome you. I thank you for reading and commenting.

UPDATE:

In early April of 2009 I gave birth to the Snork (called W now that he is on the outside). Each day my heart grows bigger and I can’t believe how lucky I am. That it took so damn long to have my baby in my arms still makes me sad, but this boy was worth the wait. (I can only say that now that I am no longer waiting.)

UPDATE 2:

In October of 2009 my sweet and precious Grandmother passed away after her long battle with Alzheimer’s. My time taking care of her has utterly changed me.  I am now trying to figure out what happens in our life next…

You can reach me by contacting me here.