1) and this is important- Do any of you guys live in or near Wisconsin? If so will you e-mail me so I can ask you a question?

2) I am getting W a high chair tomorrow. What color should I get? White, red or blue?

3) Do you peel your apples before putting them in one of those mesh food thingies?

4) I had a question about a commercial I saw at 3am but can’t remember what my question was. What was it?

5) What are you doing this weekend?

6) Saturn is shifting into my “mid-heaven” and it is shifting out of Mother’s sign completely. Sue says this will be a time for me find a new career and a time for Mother to land a dream job (woo!). What does Saturn have in store for you? (& sadly it won’t be a car…)

My inbox is freakishly cool by association these days. Thanks (ha) to some random twist of internet fate (ha) one of my e-mail addresses (I have several that all go to one inbox thanks to mac’s sweet e-mail program) is getting a lot of attention. I honestly have no idea how, and there most likely is not an easily explained flow chart answer, but probably some internet phishing done by robots or people that answer those, “work at home” ads on craig’s list.

(and before I dive further into the writing of this post I should let you know that I am not a well rested lady this morning as Captain Adorable decided that 4am was play time. And I forgot to brew my cold brew coffee before I went to bed and instead am enduring some horrible and weak and bitter brew that is more annoying than satisfying. You are what you drink. woo!)

SO back to the post about my e-mail because I imagine that you are totally sucked in right now. It began with one e-mail that was clearly spam/junk/lame and I promptly clicked delete and moved on about my day. Except this was not your normal sort of e-mail. And when other people received it they clicked reply and typed messages that varied from “unsubscribe” to “I don’t know you. Leave me alone.”

The interesting part is that when they clicked reply it automatically went reply ALL. And so it began -  the great e-mail mania dance party. Clearly this was some sort of fucked up e-mail dealio and clearly just replying “unsubscribe” was not making things happen. So people started getting creative with their demands for removal from whatever random and phantom list we were all on. It began with a few people going the ALL CAPS route and then slowly morphed into fun with colors and fun with bold and then became details about just how annoying these e-mails were. And then the e-mails started with the logical advice that I had assumed from the get go, “stop replying!”.

The crazy thing is that I started paying attention to the signatures that were attached to these e-mails and I am totally baffled by the wide range of characters that my e-mail joined ranks with. There is a chef, several professors, people in various elements of “the media”, people that work at software companies, for newspapers, and I am guessing regular schmoes like me. But the meltdowns and frustrations vary and are fascinating.The best responses thus far are, “You don’t know who you are fucking with!!” and, “This is a government account. You are in BIG trouble!”

Seems that whatever and whoever set up this e-mail account set it up like a group e-mail. So when one hits reply instead of just going to a person that you believe is e-mailing you it actually e-mails EVERYONE. And no one seems to get this because this morning instead of getting the usual, “unsubscribe me!” e-mails I am now getting the, “Stop hitting reply all you stupid idiots!!!” (um that from a writer from the Chicago Tribune).

Of course if my professional inbox was getting jam packed with some stupid phishing spam I would be pissed off, but instead I am just a random girl with the ability to click delete and my annoyance has morphed into a sort of internet people watching.

And I don’t seem to be the only one fascinated by this weirdness. It seems that some people are now actually making friends with other people on this list. A guy from wired magazine just added a shout out to someone from another geeky magazine (this was below his plea to be removed from “the list”).

I’m sure it will get lame for me soon. Actually just in the amount of time it took me to write this I got over 40 e-mails connected to this mass e-mail spam thing.

Yeah. It’s now officially annoying.

Still not quite there in the head-space to write/share stuff about Millie. I can say that she has, I suppose for lack of a better word, stabilized. But it is still not good. I imagine things won’t be good again. And my feelings about everything are at odds with absolutes that I have embraced for my entire life. I know. Pretty vague and general there, but a post will be coming eventually. Better out than in, right?

Now. Here is a post where I totally come out and ask for thoughts and advice on something pretty specific. A sort of, all hands on deck, help me please post.

And I won’t get into too much detail about our money situation (which makes me laugh because, heh, WHAT money?!) but the reality of our life is that as we abide with GM we are sort of stuck here in this town. So all creative energy we have to spare is being spent trying to figure out how to exist on little to low.

Which brings us to the specific- there is a clock. It is what you would call a long case clock. An antique purchased most likely in the 60-70’s. (aka NOT a family heirloom) We think it could be worth something. But how does one a) find out the worth of such things and b) sell it?

And is it silly to think that there is a market for such things? I keep having dreams about diamonds being hidden in the house or finding out that we have property somewhere to escape to/live. Salty flavored hope.

Yes. I am avoiding blogging about other stuff. Don’t worry I am bottling it all up to pour out later. In the mean time I seem to be scatterbrained about pretty much everything else right now. This means that today you just get some random thoughts. Woo!

What the fuck is up with the new Jeopardy set? At first I thought it was leftovers from their tournament of champions but now I realize that it is here to stay. Hate it. I am still pissed off at Jeopardy for doing away with the sound effects when a daily double is found. I loved that sound. But there IS good news about this season- celebrity rounds will be featured weekly starting tonight.

I really wish grocery stores delivered. So many nights I am filled with the desire to make something specific only to be met with no ingredients. Wonder if there is a career to be found in being an errand girl for a neighborhood…

My hair is now like a tree falling in the forest. I got an awesome trim/cut a few weeks ago. One of those, “please thin out my giant head of hair” cuts and this one actually seems to have worked. And for several days I have worn my hair DOWN. And if you know me, you know that this is giant. Not only have I worn it down but when I catch sight of it I think it looks pretty hawt. The funny thing is that W is so amused when I have my hair down. He seriously looks at me like I am making a funny face at him. Nope- just wearing my hair down.

And we haven’t even had our yearly chat on the new fall tv shows! Oh goody- now I know what to blog about tomorrow!

So what is on your mind today?

I could not get to sleep last night. My mind was full of silly thoughts and the soundtrack to Annie. I suddenly realized yesterday that I no longer can remember the lyrics to that musical and I realized this in the middle of singing to W. In fact I can’t seem to remember the lyrics to most song lately. Which is why W hears the theme song for The Flintstones 30 times a day. Because, for whatever reason, that one is a lifer.

So last night I am in bed and clicking around channels and I suddenly stop because there is Sandra Oh talking about muppets on the daytime Emmy awards. And the curtain opens and there is about 40% of the cast of Sesame Street. (no Grover. lame.) And I get all emotional and start singing along to, “sing. sing a song….”

And then, oh my goodness, the puppeteers come out WITH their muppet and it was so cool. Happy 40 years, Sesame Street!

(And side note to PBS: please reconsider Reading Rainbow!!! Hold a telathon!)

Once the Sesame Street bit was over I clicked over to my saved food shows. There was Ina waiting for me with a show about breakfast. I watched 2 minutes of it and deleted it. Why? Because I saw she was going to cook some eggs and I learned on one of her other breakfast shows that Ina and I do not share the same philosophy when it comes to scrambled eggs. She likes them runny. I do not.

Which made me suddenly remember the lyrics to this Dean Martin song and I wanted to wake W up so that I could sing every single word to him, thus proving that I am cultured and knowledgeable in the key of crooner.

This morning I found the song on youtube and played it for the young lad and he wiggled his approval and then tried to type a letter. This is a skill he has learned from his Grandmother. He helps her apply for jobs when I need a break from the knee bouncing. So he is now all, “KEYBOARD!!!! I know what that DOES!!! Clacky! Clacky!!!!

Which brings me back to eggs. In case you didn’t click the link up there the song I can sing you is How do you like your eggs in the morning? It is sweet and silly and I’m sorry but it will be in your head for the rest of the day. (& I would link to the lyrics but every site I try has like a bajillion pop up ads & who needs that?)

But at least now we can talk about eggs. Because maybe there are people out there that like runny scrambled eggs. And because I like a good Monday poll you now get to tell me about your feeeeeeeeeeelings about eggs.

What is the best egg dish you have ever had?

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I’m talking about Blogger Bingo! See that little graphic over there on the left? That is the badge that all the bingo players are flashing on their blogs. Awesome Mel has come up with another fun and exciting way to connect us. I am totally guilty of just reading from my reader and not getting to know other blogs as well as I once did. And now thanks to Bingo I am “meeting” so many blogs!

So how are you guys playing? I start the morning by asking Mother to shout out a number between 1 and 99. Then I check to see what the Bingo of the day is, get a cup of coffee and click on the blog that corresponds with that number.

Sometimes I have to get another number. This happened many times today as the first blog I selected only had “updates” with beta news. And honestly there was no way in hell that I was going to be all, “Hey! Bingo on your beta!” But I read through several months and will come back to her. The next blog I tried wasn’t around long enough to qualify for the “before July, 2009″ bit. Ditto for the next blog! And the next. And the next. (wow- so many NEW blogs!!)

So if you play- what is your  method? Just curious. Nosy. All up in your business.

Speaking of new blogs (well not really, but now we are)- I was just curious about your desire to create a blog. Personally I started one because people I had become friends with on a message board had blogs and I loved reading their stories and so this desire to share beyond the message boards got to me. I started on blogger- even had the navy polkadot theme! Then I needed to move because someone I didn’t really want to read me was reading me. So I moved to wordpress. And then I wanted to DO more and decided to go all dot com with my bad self.

I try to blog at least every other day. Not because I think I have interesting things to say, but because if I start skipping days then it can become hard to dive back in. I totally use this space as a safe place for myself but also as a way to be a part of a larger community. I always like to feel connected.

So why did you start your blog? And if you don’t have a blog do you ever wish you did? And if you are a new blogger let me know so I can say hi.

(& holy shit- THANK YOU for all of the amazing food blog links you shared! I am so inspired. And in case any of you were wondering- my batch of cold brew is so good. The bitter aspect of coffee is my least favorite and I love that brewing without heat has made coffee smoother. mmmmmmm. Good thing I made 4 cups of it as I have been up since 4:43…)

In this scenario there are two sisters. They were not raised with each other and they lost touch years ago. One sister (that we know of) usually does an internet search for the other sister every two or so years to no avail. This year a search yielded an on-line baby registry that clearly seems to be the “missing” sister. There are several items on the registry that have yet to be purchased even though the expected arrival date was listed as several months ago.

In this scenario if you were the “missing” sister how would you feel about receiving a baby gift from a sister that you were extremely out of touch with? Would you send a gift?

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How do two parent houses do comprising on parenting issues? Did you get together and make choices 1st or is it fly by the seat of your pants? What do you do when one of you wants to do something* and the other parent isn’t feeling it??

*something could be sleep training or scheduled feedings or organic food or discipline or co-sleeping…basically insert a parenting choice

Being single I feel sometimes lucky to have the talking stick in my hands all the time when it comes to this stuff. But I wonder if this is a good thing or if I am really missing out by not having someone bantering with me. I also wonder if it has made me slightly paranoid about when I do make a choice about something.

For example- I am pretty, “eh” about sleep training right now. That is just me, in my gut, and maybe a little bit because I am lazy and because W is teething and I will pretty much do anything to get him to smile and not cry. But I wonder how I would react if I had a husband that was co-parenting with me and he had a different opinion on sleep training.

So seriously. How is that co-parenting thing done?

Also known as, what the fuck? Am I a MOMMYblogger or a blogger that happens to have a baby or a writer that blogs or a something else that just can’t be defined?

It happened just over 3 months ago and was heralded in by an e-mail that said the following, “We shifted your blog over to the “infertility alumni” group for now, but we also wanted to know if you would like to have your blog moved to parenting.”

And at the time you can bet your breastpump that I responded with a, “HELL YEAH!”

And this is where I feel like an asshole, but at the TIME, I wanted to shed my “infertility blogger” status like a newly thin gal tosses out her fat jeans. I know, I know.

Now that I have had some distance I have a different sort of perspective. While yes I do seem to blog a LOT about W I really don’t want it to be the only think I blog about.When I started this blog it was about chronicling the process of becoming a single Mother by choice. I had zero idea that it would take so damn long. And while I certainly blogged about 99% of that journey (am I still the only person that will admit that they farted during an IUI?) I also had a lot of other stuff going on as well.

There were a lot of lulls in between trying…

And many times I wanted to push myself away from the topic of fertility and infertility. I needed to write/process/purge about the other stuff. The living back in the South stuff. The miscellaneous distant family stuff. And mostly the taking care of a Grandmother that probably didn’t like me much from the ages of 9-21 but was now dependent on my care and basically taught me how to let go of a lot of random baggage and just give in to a new beautiful relationship with so much gratitude and love.

So to say that I am now a MOMMYblogger that is an infertility blogger graduate feels like all of the writing I did about other stuff didn’t happen or wasn’t read. Weird, right?

I know that there are some of you that read me because you are going through or have gone through the infertility hell, but I hope that you also read because you are interested in GM or Mother, or whatever else I happen to hit publish on.

(& may I just say that I feel like such a tool for even talking about where I fit in within the blogosphere because it shows that I care about this stuff. Which seems kind of silly, but I am one of those people that like to have order and yet I sort of shrug off the need to have order within my google reader. Fertility blogs mingle next to political blogs that are elbow to elbow with food blogs that are spooning blogs that are just good reads.)

Basically, like some of my favorite writers that happen to be Mothers that happen to blog, I am feeling twitchy about labels. I just want to blog.

And win the lotto.

So now that I got all of that foolishness out of my system I thought I would try writing about things that are annoying me right now (I told Briar that she should do this because when she is pissed off she cracks me up. And I say that with love. And also because it has been my chatting with Briar that has lead to most of this post in the first place. What an instigator!)

Things that are bothering me in no order except “bother” is sometimes too light a word for some of these:

1. What is the DEAL with all of the attention to eyelashes lately? Mascara commercials are freaking me out with these super extreme closeups of lashes. Also motorized mascara wands? Really?  And why does Brooke Shields want to sell me eyelash medication? Are eyelashes to women what penises are to men? We want them longer, thicker, more noticeable? Am I then less of a woman by not really caring about the status of my eyelashes?

2. nazi references in the town hall “meetings” to have a  health care “debate”. What the fuckity fuck people? I get it if you disagree with health care reform (that is actually a lie. I do NOT get that.) but what good is stopping the discussion?

3.  I am so bummed out at the press tour for the new movie Julie & Julia. This is a movie that is based on a blog and yet no one is mentioning Julie Powell, the blog writer. And I love Julia Childs like the amazon soul-sister that she is, but a blogger turned her blog into a book and then a movie with Meryl Streep- can’t the girl get a shout out on The View?

4. mommyblogging thoughts: see the above drivel

5. That lady gaga kermit outfit. Muppet murder is never amusing.

For Part I go here. To ask a question go here.

Betty M asks:

How do you think you would be in letting a future significant other be a partner in W’s parenting?

Wow. This is a good question. I think, at this point in W’s life, that I am probably really closed down and not open to even thinking about co-parenting with anyone else. This is just me thinking honestly here, but I feel pretty selfish about being his Mother and I don’t want to yield any of that. That being said I am expecting that knee jerk response to your question to fade away some day.

I would love to find someone to share my life with. But I don’t think it will happen until I feel like I have a life worth sharing. (which is more about my weird self worth feelings these days. Some day I need to write a post about how having a baby on your own really fucks up your notions about need in terms of other people. And by “other people” I mean a husband.)

Kimmyann asks:

Would you consider having another baby in a few years? or is W it?

I think about it daily. And every three months the money I earn from ads on this site get wired off to the Northeast clinic to keep some embryos on ice. Just this morning I was telling Mother that I had this daydream that after the Blogher conference next year I could just hop on a train and have an FET.

I was raised as an only child (maybe some day I will explain why I worded that the way I did) and I always wanted to know what childhood would have been like if I had a sibling in my life.

So yes. I want one more. (she says hopefully to the Universe)

Jen asks:

What are your favorite things to eat?

I do love a Southern style spread: mac and cheese, green beans, biscuits, spoon bread, a nice chocolate pecan pie…

How is the cloth diapering going?

It is going great (thanks in large part to your awesome posts on it!). I did have to stop using some fancy detergent as it was giving him a rash, but other than that it has been smooth and easy. As W is getting bigger I have decided that prefolds and covers are not my favorite so we are adding in one size diapers every time I complete a new header for someone. I only wish I was able to line dry but alas the neighborhood I live in does not allow for such things.

A Person (no link) asks:

Would you ever share your real name with us?

um. Maybe? This is oddly something that I have been thinking of lately. I mean if you know me on facebook you know my real name. And recently I have not really felt connected to the internet alias of “Calliope”. I think that started when I noticed that there was actually a real Calliope (I can’t remember her blog so sorry!) in our community and I felt like dork for having it as pseudo name when it is her real one.

I have also had some time to let go and process some of the big reasons why I created an alias in the first place. And I won’t go into all of those reasons now, but things that freaked me out no longer do anymore. And I am wanting to reclaim this blog as MY story with MY name and not a fake name.

So. Um. Like I said. Maybe. And maybe sooner than I thought.

But here is a random photo clue for the clueless: (& please no guessing in the comments)

gypsygrrl asks:

is there something you do for W on a daily (regular) basis that you always imagined yourself doing for/with a child of your own? (reading a certain book, singing a special lullaby)

I tell W the story of how he came to be pretty much daily. It has many layers. But I always knew that if I ever had a child I would want him to know from the beginning just how much he was wanted and desired.

I also try to repeat silly sayings or sounds to him that I have from my childhood. Like there is a sound we make when I hug that my Mother used to make when she hugged me. She used to hug me and say in a sing-song voice, “Squeeze toy!” It then morphed into the sound, “Eeeeeee ahhhhhhh”. So when I hug W I say that.

I also make sure he knows to say, “We are off! In a gale of whale butter!” when we begin a journey and, “home again, home again jiggity jog” when we return.

and now that you have your own baby is it a surreal thing for you?

hell yes.

Sabrina (who refuses to start a blog even though I have asked her to) asks:

what is your favorite all-time movie? (comedy / drama).

Favorite drama is Breaking the Waves. It is VERY depressing and sad and weird and hard to sit through, but it continues to be the most amazing film I have ever seen.

Favorite comedy is Foul Play. Oh my lawd I could watch this movie a million times and still laugh. It is also the only movie that Chevy Chase pulls off the perfect mesh of handsome, witty and clever. Beware the albino dwarf!

BONUS ANSWER (to a question not asked): Favorite Muppet Movie: Muppets from Space. I will always have a soft spot for Gonzo.

who will play you in your biopic?

Well I think Joan Cusack would be fun:

But Sara Rue would look more authentic.

Kymberli asks:

As a fellow actress at heart, I’d like to know what role or type of role you’d like to play if you could?

I wish I could play a good ingenue. I never, ever got to. When I started getting serious about theatre I was just never seen as the Juliet, I was cast as the nurse. I was (am) tall and many directors just never got past that. I think I would love to play Beatrice in Much Ado…something with a smart, quirky gal but with a love story. I never got a love story.

Wow, now ain’t that the truth.