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Shifting the light to another blogger.

Here is something that I wrote within the last password protected post that I feel I should share with the rest of you:

The longer I sit with this the more I know in my gut that this SW opportunity is not for me. I am so agitated over having to come up with a solution so fast. And seriously, being this needy is killing me. Honestly I would really rather put this effort & energy towards saving up for an FET back back in the NE. It feels weird to go forward with a fresh IVF when I have embryos waiting for me in a city with a free place to stay and access to transportation.

Now I know that I do have a tendency to quit when things get overwhelming. I hate a hassle and a mess and am frankly exhausted over trying to think outside of the box. I feel like that is ALL I do and it has yet to benefit. Then there is also this shame that I feel over not having money at the ready for this opportunity. And I feel like a giant loser for even being so frank with you all about this lack of funds.

I hate that by even bringing this study up to my Mother has caused her to go back to a place of guilt that she is not able to help me out any more financially at the moment. She is working so hard to get her own personal finances in order and she has made some real progress. I do not want to do anything that would cause her to delay her own important goal.

I am thankful for the Z for keeping me pretty even as I go through this ripple. I can see the place of doom in my mind and so far I am doing well to step around it. This study would have been great if key ingredients had been in my favor. All I can do is keep saving, keep hoping and dreaming and then maybe another study will pop up or maybe I will get the right amount in my savings account to get back to the NE.

That being said, I want to sincerely and deeply thank all of you for trying to help me scramble this week to come up with a solution. I have written to the people running the study to see if there is a way I could participate at a more local clinic, but really I think I should just get back to saving up for an FET. It feels right.

However, there is another wonderful and amazing blogger that would be a primo candidate for this SW study and I would like all of you to head over to her blog and help her work on logistics. Chicory and her family have been through a lot and I can not think of a more deserving family. Let’s make this happen for her!

Protected: The fretteration starts here.

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Come and knock on my door*…

If you look to the right you will now see a lovely plaid button for you to click on and explore. I am new to the wonders of cafepress, but I hope if you see something you like you will reach out for it. Prices shown are an inch or two above cost and all proceeds earned will go towards funding my next fertility adventure.

For those of you traveling without a password this is the big news I alluded to earlier. I can’t get into specifics, but the headline is that I could be on my way to IVF #2 pretty soon. I will be blogging all about the actual IVF, but there are some key details that I can’t share all out in the open and those will be in the password posted (if necessary). The IVF will happen out of town and in the Southwest and I am scrambling to figure out ways to come up with the necessary monies.

But seriously…SQUEAL!

blog note #1: some password requests did not have valid e-mail addresses so if you are waiting to get a password please verify that you are using a working e-mail.

blog note #2: Please tell me that some of you are watching the red carpet now so that we can discuss later!

(*That’s for you, Lydia.)

Protected: the telling

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password:

Password Post Coming Soon

Something pretty massive might be about to happen but I can’t really talk about it all out and in the open. If it happens it will be insanely awesome. Like mind blowing.

If you had the password for my almost donor egg cycle it is the same. If you do not have a password and need one leave me a comment here (with a valid e-mail address) and I will get back to you once I have verified that you are not a baddie.

If you want a hint (at the news, not the password) just check out the category for this post.

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