Also known as guess who has a certain tell tale sign of thrush in his mouth? The white spots are the only sign and I am not 100% certain it isn’t just milk, but called the doctor nonetheless and am waiting to hear if they want us to come in and when. Thankfully I have no symptoms so if we DO have this then it is mild and easily treat.
In the meantime please allow me to distract the rest of your day with the most kick ass felt food auction going on! My gals at the IVP are truly amazing and talented. Check out the auction and go shopping! Oh yes, felt bacon.
Warning: Snork Related post
The alternate title of this post is, “She is making me do it!”
My wonderful internet friend (that quickly morphed into a real life friend), Jennifer, has decided that the Snork is going to have a little internet party. In fact she all out insisted on it. But the large truth is that I would not be where I am right now without you guys, the Internet Aunts. You all supported me emotionally, financially, and unabashedly to get to the place where I could finally have the FET cycle that resulted in Snork. I can never, ever thank you enough. Puffy hearts galore to the U.T.E.R.U.S. Brigade and the IVP.
If you want to be a part of a small little moment of mushy love click here.
One of my favorite sayings about friendship is attributed to C.S. Lewis:
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.”
This of course goes nicely with dear Emily Dickinson, who says:
I’m Nobody! Who are you?
Are you — Nobody — too?
Then there’s a pair of us?
Don’t tell! they’d advertise — you know!
One of the most wonderful things about this here blog is that it has allowed me to literally jump out of the computer and into the real world. As a woman that is virtually home-bound by her care-giving journey I rarely have any opportunities to connect and meet people. Through this blog though, I do. Through this blog I have made true friends.
Last December I experienced the extreme high and then the extreme low of finding out I was pregnant and then finding out that it wouldn’t last. During the high a group of my on-line friends decided to create a quilt for me. And then when the low hit they kept going to create a quilt of comfort. They spent months and months creating individual squares that featured the outline of one of their hands. The squares were unique and absolutely personal. Lots of plaid was incorporated, as well as hidden embroidered messages of love and support. (& seriously- a square with a roller derby girl with “bad-ass” on her pants? Brilliant!)
The squares were sent to Shelli and then she artistically and beautifully shaped the top layer all together. That image alone- of such a great friend connecting all of our other great friends together with needle and thread into one tactile entity takes my breath away. Isn’t that how we all see ourselves? Connected with invisible thread across the world.
The connected squares were then sent across the country to Chicory who has the most talented mother of a quilter, or should I say quilter that is a Mother. She brought the squares to life with her quilting and binding.
All of this, from the planning, to the creating of the squares, to the assembling of the squares to the quilting took nearly a year. And here is the shocker- I didn’t know a thing about it! That is the thing that makes me curl my toes and blush with love. That so so many of my friends, some I have met, and some I have not, were able to come together to create such a perfect art piece of friendship and loyalty is awe inspiring.
And that it arrived, safely, on my doorstop Saturday just in time to hold me tight as we prepare to go through one of the hardest weeks ever with GM is just another perfect loop that the Universe and the U.S. Postal Service joyfully made happen.
Like I told the women involved in the creation of this new life-force in my life: You can be assured that this quilt will forever be a part of my life. Just as I hope that we all will be forever in each others lives.
From the top:
Row 1: Unwellness, Forever Reaching, Caved, Fostering Pride
Row 2: Cheese and Whine, Jen of Addition Problems, Misfit Motherhood, Probably Boring Ramblings
Row 3: Accident of Hope, So Join in the Struggle, Insane Animals, Lo of Family O
Row 4: Cait of Addition Problems, Cha Cherry Cola, One Small Corner, Arcane Matters,
Row 5: Fostering Pride, Co of Family O, EggDrop Post, Hydrangeas are Pretty
In addition to the quilt there was also included something called a purse quilt. This is a square (made by Dos Mamas) that I can slip into my purse and take with me to appointments. You can be certain that it will be traveling with us to meet with GM’s skin doctor tomorrow morning.
More images of the poetic and beautiful quilt of comfort:
Thank you to all who created and all those that planned and all those that were part of the surprise. It is now my most treasured belonging.
Many months ago my gal pals at The IVP got together and did a giant felt food swap with each other. Each woman made a certain number of deliciously amazing looking felt food items and then they swapped them with each other. They also made an extra set and donated it to the fundraising efforts for yours truly. It was hugely popular on eBay and extremely helpful to getting me to my goal.
Well they are doing it again! The funds raised will go towards helping someone with costs related to getting knocked up.
Check out the auction, bid like crazy, and know that each item was made by a member of our on-line community.
**Post is up at Reviews & Contemplations about 90210 & the new season of America’s Next Top Model
The orchestra is finished warming up and the lights have dimmed. The ushers are closing the doors to the theatre and a recording chimes in to remind you to turn of your cell phones and pagers. It’s time to start the show. And didn’t I promise you all front row seats?
Welcome to The FET, a show produced and sponsored by the Uterus Brigade and The IVP.
Local clinic stuff was sorted out easily (thank goodness!) and my body responded by promptly beginning to bleed. This means that my baseline ultrasound and blood-work will happen tomorrow. And if all looks well I will begin estrogen pills tomorrow evening.
I can’t believe this cycle is finally here. So much anticipation. So much.
Your daily moment of cute:
(heads up, this might be dull for some of you, but if you are currently using the ivp ring code on your blog keep reading)
A couple of years ago I decided to start a webring for all of the blogs that I noticed had a similar theme as mine. I used a site that did nothing but organize blogs into rings and slowly the collection of blogs began to build. The thing that I liked about the ring was that it linked us all together so that if someone was reading my blog they could simply click “next” and find themselves at another blog that was about alternative reproduction (more on that in a moment).
However the code for the ring was bulky and unattractive and basically a pain in the ass. The parent site of the ring also began to use that obnoxious ad code all over it. So if you were clicking through the ring the top section of your browser would drop down with a navigation bar. In addition to the name of the blog you were viewing you might find an ad for SPERM! VIAGRA! MISCARRIAGE! and other such nonsense that no one needs to have shouted at them. It was annoying at first and then it just became inappropriate.
I began a massive search for how to create my own webring but never really grasped how difficult it was. So I started getting nosy. I wanted to see what other software or sites folks were using. Many of them were stuck in the same obnoxious advertising trap that I was, but the majority of them were actually just regular old websites with a giant blogroll.
Hell, I can do that!
And so the morph is happening. The new and improved IVP webring has been created. This site is an image free, quick loading site with only a list of blogs. It is not meant to replace the infertility blogroll, but to be small and easily identifiable group.
The IVP is The Internet Vagina Posse and is comprised of women from all walks of life in all stages of a journey. The linking thread is that we are having to use alternative reproduction to create our families. I guess now is a good time to explain what I mean by that. Alternative as defined by the dictionary is “employing or following nontraditional or unconventional ideas, methods, etc.; existing outside the establishment”. So if you are trying to create your family in a way that differs from what you learned in 8th grade sex-ed put on your flannel shirt, because you, my dear friend, are alternative.
The prize of joining the ring is a small bit of swag to put in your side bar that lets visitors know that you hang with The IVP. Please e-mail or comment here for the sidebar swag code.
If you signed up to the original webring your blog has already been added but do know that I will no longer be monitoring the ring and eventually it will be eaten up by tacky 00gle ads.
Also, a little bit of a teaser, Friday will be a big upgrade for me in the appearance arena. Yes, Marta, there will be photos. And no, Jude, I am not getting a boob job.
I have one thing to say and then I want to have a conversation with you guys. Here is the statement: I am currently celebrating the (quiet) start of my period. Which, while not a cartwheel moment, it IS something that has to happen in order to get TO the cartwheel moment. That moment would be my next period. That cycle will be the beginning of THE cycle. You know the one you guys have been helping me save up towards for five+ months. Yes. THAT cycle. The FET cycle. The sequel to the almost perfect IVF (that bled away…).
And because I am going to be an obnoxious good girl (& by good I mean try to off-set any health issues that my fat ass might be bringing to the party by abstaining from caffeine and booze) this will be the last week that I will partake of the yumminess that is red wine and enjoy the alertness that is my morning coffee/s.
Since this is a new page in this chapter I decided to unveil a new look on the blog. (if you are reading me in a blog reader you are totally not getting the full effect…just saying) If you notice any glitches please raise your hand and speak up. And yes, that is what my kitty looks like. Cute as hell, right?!
Now- on to the conversation. As I have been clicking and reading along being a nacomleavmo gal I have noticed all KINDS of blogs out there that deal with the same subject differently. That subject would be talking about a cycle vs. not talking about it. There are blogs that give you the juicy facts from every angle and then there are the ones that simply say things like, “went to the RE” and then move on to talking about other stuff.
Personally I am an over-sharer. Way too much sharing. But I wonder if that is a turn off. Would you rather read ALL the details, a few choice details, or a vague shrug of the details? (sorry. NO details is not an option.)
Now don’t get me wrong, as far as blogging a cycle I expect this one to be super boring for most of you. (if you want excitement may I direct you to the Hep C scare cycle of October ‘07) I mean there will only be four ultrasounds total from start of period to transfer of the embryos day. But really I ask this for those that are going through shit times. I have been there so don’t lie. Is it going to be annoying as hell to have to read stuff? Should I put things at the end of posts? or do one of those post breaks so that if you are reading on a reader program that you don’t have to see something you are not in the mindset to see?
Just something I am thinking about. Now excuse me while I go to the store to buy a vat of wine.
At first it felt like nothing was going on. I was just doing my little part of comment leaving (in accordance with International NaComLeavMo rules & statutes) and I didn’t feel like anyone was going to stop by my little bitter corner of the blogosphere. (I get paranoid some days. No rationality involved.) And then all of a sudden you guys started showing up. Some of you I recognize from clever & witty comments you have left on blogs I read/stalk and others of you are new “finds” & I can’t wait to get to know better.
A little back story on me (& if you are new here check out my “Who is Calliope?” page up there for the nitty gritty) I moved around a lot as a child. (10 different schools- there is no girl scout badge for that) So much so that by the time I was a junior in high school I had mastered the fine art of claiming friends. I had learned that it was an ineffective use of my time to sit quietly and wait for some kid to figure out that I was the shit- I needed to go out and make it known.
After many moves I had figured out what makes a good person and what makes an asshole- and honestly those kinds of things are pretty easy to sniff out once you know what it smells like. Assholes smell like unkindness and cruelty, they ooze mean spiritedness and suffer from a lack of the wonderful top note of humor. Good people smell like the funny pages and have parents that swear.
Of course in my early quests for the holy grail of truth and quick best friending I did some acting out. I led a rebellion at a new school in the 2nd grade which involved teaching all the girls in my class what the phrase “kick ‘em in the nuts meant”. This, by the way, would be the Baptist elementary school that friends of my Grandparents ran. I lasted there until Christmas. But boy did I make some good friends!
In 7th grade I was going to boarding school at a fine arts school in a big city in a backwards state. My desire for uber wonderful and cool friends resulted in my not ever going to class and hanging out with 12th graders from the wrong side of the tracks (aka scenic design kids). Months went by & I didn’t even realize that I was supposed to be in French class and not trying to memorize the cool quirks of the kids filling out college applications. Not so great on the friend gathering during this time.
My life now is pretty rich with friendships. I am extremely lucky that I have many people on that ever elusive “will you help me bury the body” phone tree. And in the past several years I have added many internet friends on that list. It comes hard and fast when you just KNOW that the person on the other end of a snazzy URL is quality. Usually I can tell if someone is awesome by how they write about the banal. If you can sum up an hour at the grocery store and have me pissing in my pants or weeping through my kleenex then I claim you.
Really, that is how I feel about it. Claimed. Owned. You. Yes, you. & sometimes I rush into the claiming and scare the bejeebus out of you. It’s just that I don’t really like the chit chat phase. I want to skip that & get right into the confessions of college phase.
All this is to say that if I have freaked you out with an overly enthusiastic comment I am not sorry. You will see. We will be iBFF’s in no time. Soon it will be like we are all Norm. And when you stop by I will shout your name and freak my cat out.
Making your way in the world today takes everything you’ve got.
Taking a break from all your worries, sure would help a lot.
Wouldn’t you like to get away?
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name,
and they’re always glad you came.
You wanna be where you can see,
our troubles are all the same
You wanna be where everybody knows
Your name
If you are reading this and it is thursday please Make it a New Day.
There is some shitty stuff going around. Shitty.
There is a password protected blogger in Maine that needs some comfort.
There is a furious blogger in NYC that can’t get into her blog via her phone that SO needs to vent about something horrible.
And there is a friend in Florida that just got some kicked in the gut news.
Please take a moment to send you most loving and embracing thoughts to these women. We are never alone and sometimes we need to be reminded of that.
