I had a pretty amazing and emotional and FULL weekend that I look forward to writing about. While I was away and pretty much offline for three days I had buckets of realizations about why I blog.
The biggest realization about blogging was that I had gotten sucked into chasing numbers. Statistics. I also had been pining away for some invisible next rung on the ladder. I started comparing myself to other bloggers. I watched people who started blogging less than a year ago achieve successes that I wanted for myself. And I beat myself up.
What was WRONG with me? With my writing? With my STORY. Because, for me, it is all connected.
I spent a lot of time waving my arms in the hopes that someone would find me. LOOK!! Here I am!! I AM WRITING HERE!! CHECK ME OUT!!
Waving your arms around is exhausting. It also doesn’t free up your arms for typing.
This weekend I realized that I was chasing something that will never belong to me. I am embarrassed to tell you the amount of effort I spent on trying to GET NOTICED so that I could GET MORE NOTICED so that I could MAKE THE LIST and HAVE THE NUMBERS.
I am never going to be one of those bloggers. I am never going to get picked to have my own column or contribute to a magazine. I am never going to make the cut.
AND THAT IS OK
That is not why I started blogging. I started so that I can tell my story. I am the only one that can. When it comes to the story of Dresden NO ONE does it better.
Expect some changes around here.
The biggest being my new motto: Write like no one is reading but hope someone is.