I recently read that Bethenny Frankel is going to be writing a book on and for single mothers. Bethenny, who was my original favorite within the Real Housewives series, has always been amusing to me. This book news made me laugh out loud.
Yes, I understand that she is going through a divorce and will then be single. And a mother. Ergo a “single mother”. But here is the rub: Right now? Bethenny isn’t single. Her beginning this book is like me writing a book about all of the weight that I lost this year when I haven’t even started my program (more about that in another post).
I can not imagine what she would have to say about a situation that she knows nothing about at this point.
When it comes to being an expert at being a single mother, well, no one really is. There are just Moms that manage and Moms that need help managing and usually most of us flip back and forth between those two entities.
Within the single Mom world there are
three four scenarios.
• Single by death
• Single by divorce
• Single by choice
• Single by circumstance (updated to add this one in)
I am sure there is a weird grey, in between area, of a married couple evolving into a divorced couple. I am unsure at what point a person in that situation would deem themselves a single parent.
I am most reactionary to this quote from Radar Online:
“Bethenny has been writing and documenting her feelings in the beginning stages of the divorce,” a source close to the situation tells us. “The book will explore the struggles and compromises all single mom face. It will deal with the delicate balancing act that is being a single mom, and the guilt she feels because her daughter Bryn will now come from a broken home, something she never wanted for her little girl.”
It has been a very long time since I have heard that phrase. It is something that was often used to describe a household where parents had divorced or separated. What was once a whole home is now a “broken home”.
As a child of two parents that divorced, technically, I came from a broken home. However my home was anything but broken. It was strong, complete, sustaining, uplifting and it was a home built by many people who loved me.
I can’t help but cringe that Bethenny has started to use this phrase to describe what her home will be for her daughter. Will it possibly be complicated? Yes. Broken? Who is to say?
According to the US Census report from 2009 there are approximately 13.7 million single parents in the United States today. Are all of these homes broken?
I do wish Bethenny much luck with not only her book but also her new status of “single Mom”. I hope that one day she will realize that homes with single parents are not broken. We are just fine.
Photo Credit: Andrew W Todd