I recently read that Bethenny Frankel is going to be writing a book on and for single mothers. Bethenny, who was my original favorite within the Real Housewives series, has always been amusing to me. This book news made me laugh out loud.
Yes, I understand that she is going through a divorce and will then be single. And a mother. Ergo a “single mother”. But here is the rub: Right now? Bethenny isn’t single. Her beginning this book is like me writing a book about all of the weight that I lost this year when I haven’t even started my program (more about that in another post).
I can not imagine what she would have to say about a situation that she knows nothing about at this point.
When it comes to being an expert at being a single mother, well, no one really is. There are just Moms that manage and Moms that need help managing and usually most of us flip back and forth between those two entities.
Within the single Mom world there are three four scenarios.
• Single by death
• Single by divorce
• Single by choice
• Single by circumstance (updated to add this one in)
I am sure there is a weird grey, in between area, of a married couple evolving into a divorced couple. I am unsure at what point a person in that situation would deem themselves a single parent.
I am most reactionary to this quote from Radar Online:
“Bethenny has been writing and documenting her feelings in the beginning stages of the divorce,” a source close to the situation tells us. “The book will explore the struggles and compromises all single mom face. It will deal with the delicate balancing act that is being a single mom, and the guilt she feels because her daughter Bryn will now come from a broken home, something she never wanted for her little girl.”
BROKEN HOME
It has been a very long time since I have heard that phrase. It is something that was often used to describe a household where parents had divorced or separated. What was once a whole home is now a “broken home”.
As a child of two parents that divorced, technically, I came from a broken home. However my home was anything but broken. It was strong, complete, sustaining, uplifting and it was a home built by many people who loved me.
I can’t help but cringe that Bethenny has started to use this phrase to describe what her home will be for her daughter. Will it possibly be complicated? Yes. Broken? Who is to say?
According to the US Census report from 2009 there are approximately 13.7 million single parents in the United States today. Are all of these homes broken?
I do wish Bethenny much luck with not only her book but also her new status of “single Mom”. I hope that one day she will realize that homes with single parents are not broken. We are just fine.
Photo Credit: Andrew W Todd
{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }
Not a fan. Even less so now.
Famous people’s homes are always already broken. And give me a break, she can hire all the nannies and housekeepers and chauffeurs in the world. She hardly represents most single parents.
How obnoxiously opportunistic.
Isn’t there another scenario of single mom-hood? That of “got knocked up by some guy who didn’t stick around”? That would be neither by choice (unless you are including not having an abortion in the choice part), or death, or divorce. Sorry, I know this has nothing to do with the subject really, but it jumped out at me. Seems to me that choosing to become pregnant alone is not the same as deciding to bring a child into the world when perhaps accidentally pregnant or perhaps planned, but not in a stably partnered situation. Anyway, back to the topic. I’m sure Ms. Frankel knows nothing about that either.
ooooh! You are SO right. (and, wow, I actually feel like a tool that I didn’t realize this other scenario)
Updating now.
THANK YOU
This has got to be the most absurd thing I’ve heard in a long time.
Thankfully I did see her say on Twitter that she is not in fact writing this book currently (though with her tendency to overshare, I can’t believe the thought hasn’t crossed her mind). I agree with your point about the words “broken home” though – at best I hope that was the “source” trying to sell advertising eyeballs more than the words used by someone around Bryn. I am a fan of Bethenny too, and I think she will come to the same realization that you have – just fine.
Blech. I don’t like that either.
If the book takes her 15 years to write, she might have some insights to offer. How is it that, Dresden, you’re the only one pointing out the obvious here? Celeb adulation even afflicts journalists apparently.
and here in Holland almost al divorced patentst comparant. So THE care is still split and there are childfree Dany’s. totally different form doping it totally on your own…..
Homes in which the parents are unhappily married are broken homes. Sometimes you need to separate and divorce in order to fix your home.
What????? My mom was a single mom and I definitely did come from a broken home. I was a single mom and my kids don’t come from a broken home. My mom wasn’t married to my father, considering she was 14! And I wasn’t married either. So how were our homes broken?
You’re awfully nice…
Struggles and compromises all single moms face? Wow. That’s a big generalization. No to people ever face the same struggles no matter how similar their lives may seem. And yeah starting this at the beginning of the divorce (even if she has been the primary or more involved parent for a while) could seem like a bit of a slap in the face to some.
It was a rumor from STAR magazine. She tweeted this “To clear up 1 of many rumors from bottom feeder journalists: I’m not writing a book about being a single mom. I have no perspective yet.”
She’s not writing the book but I could see her writing it one day. And I think when divorce happens, a lot of women consider themselves single moms once they realize the marriage is actually over; which tends to be when someone moves out, when someone actually asks for divorce outside of an argument or when proceedings are started.
I didn’t watch her show religiously but the few episodes I did catch, her home setting and her relationship with her father really bothered her. I can see why she might feel like she failed by not maintaining her marriage and why she might feel like her daughter’s home is now broken.
Hey one autograph for me too.