The Long Nightmare

There was a voicemail on my phone waiting for me when I got back in the car after dropping W off at school this morning. It was from the nurse of the OB’s office that I am scheduled to go to tomorrow. The message was just a simple, “call me back this morning.” I waited until I got to the parking lot of the coffee shop before I returned her call.

Four minutes on hold and a different nurse from the one that left a message was then on the phone. Here is how the rest of my morning went.

Nurse 2: Hi. I am so sorry to have to tell you this, but we can’t see you at our offices tomorrow. Your insurance won’t cover what you need so I have a place to refer you to.

Me: um. Seriously? And the person that scheduled my appointment didn’t know this? And the person that called me Wednesday morning to confirm my appointment didn’t know?

Nurse 2: I am sorry. But this place will be able to help you.

I get the number. I start shaking. Because OMFG. SERIOUSLY? Could this be any shittier?

Yes. Times a million.

I call the number I was given and a nice woman takes my call. I explain that I was given her number by an OB’s office as they were not able to help me.

Woman: We can help you here. Don’t worry. What insurance do you have?

Me: ________

Woman: (sucks in air) Oh. Honey. I am sorry. But your insurance won’t cover this. You will need to be self pay. We can give you a discount though. $250 if you want to be awake, $350 if you want to be asleep. So you are looking at around $425 total as you need to pay for the ultrasound and the time to watch the video.

Me: Video? What?

Woman: Yes. Before the procedure you are required to have a 10 minute ultrasound where you are shown your baby. And then you need to watch the video about what happens during an abortion.

Me: WHAT? ABORTION? I am not having an abortion!

Woman: Well honey, you just called an abortion clinic.

I hang up.

I call the OB’s office back. In a rage. Because. Well FUCK.

Me: Do you realize you just gave me the number to an abortion clinic.

Nurse 2: Well. Um. Yes. We just don’t do those here.

Me: Abortions? I don’t need an abortion. I don’t need to watch a video about terminating a pregnancy. I AM NOT TERMINATING THIS PREGNANCY. THE HEART STOPPED!!

Sobbing I explain how very much this baby was wanted. The nurse apologizes. I hang up. I call my Mom and SOB SOB SOB.

I mean. Ugh. Just drag me through the wringer, Universe. Unfair.

Well, not like any of this is fair. There is no fair when it comes to making babies.

I got off the phone and just lost it in the car. In the parking lot. With little old ladies walking by going to get their hair done.

My phone rang and it was the original nurse that called me and left the message.

Nurse 1: Dresden. I can not apologize enough. I really can’t. There was a TOTAL miscommunication. For whatever reason the scheduler didn’t have any notes about what you were going through. We simply had you down for a termination. Since your insurance doesn’t cover that we tried to find you a place that could help you.

Me: It’s not a termination.

Nurse 1: I am just learning that and again I am so sorry. We CAN help you. Your insurance DOES cover fetal demise. But, and I hate to ask, but we just have no paperwork on you. Can you send us some records that verify fetal demise.

Me: Uh. Yeah. I can get the clinic to send you stuff.

Nurse 1: Great. Great. If you still want to come here you have an appointment for the morning with us.

Me: Ok.

I hang up. I am unsure what emotion I have.

I call the fertility clinic and ask to speak to someone about getting proof of fetal demise.

Front Desk Person at Fertility Clinic: Oh goodness. How soon do you need this?

Me: ASAP. Like by the end of the day.

Front Desk Person at Fertility Clinic: Wow. That might be hard. We had a fire at our clinic and the offices are closed right now.

DID YOU CATCH THAT?? THERE WAS A FIRE AT THE FERTILITY CLINIC.

Because. Of course.

Me: OMG! Is everyone ok? Are the labs ok???

Front Desk Person at Fertility Clinic: Everyone is fine. No one was there. But we don’t know how much damage was done.

Me: OMG!

Front Desk Person at Fertility Clinic: Dresden, I am going to figure out a way to get this paperwork to the OB. Don’t worry.

Me: SOBBING. SOBBING. SOBBING.

And that was my morning.