There is no way to eloquently explain the state of my person today. I have been a woman ON THE VERGE. Whimpering, sobbing, taking deep breaths, freaking out to friends, swearing to my Mother, unfocused, and just not jiving.
Yup. It was a beta day. I had my blood draw at 7:40am and because of traffic to the clinic I was THIRD in line instead of first. On monday I was called around 10am. So I didn’t even break out in a sweat until 10:03am today. Promise.
At 10:03 the storm cloud hovered over my head. Friends, coworkers and Mom tried their best to umbrella the storm with conversation, distractions, “hey! Look! I’m hanging out with President Obama today!” (true.), and just simply letting me know that my angst was their angst. The virtual waiting room was fantastically crowded today.
At 2:45pm I found myself in the parking lot of W’s school just coming unglued. I needed to know: good news? bad news? I MUST KNOW! I called the clinic and left a totally weepy and pathetic voicemail to the nurses. I totally used the phrase, “are you guys not calling me back because it is really horrible news and you need to have like a team call to break it to me???”
Me = winner of the “best fertility clinic panic attack” contest.
An hour later my favorite nurse called. She began the call with, “I am sorry…”
AND I LOST IT.
But she was attempting to say, “I am sorry I wasn’t able to call you back earlier.” Delays with the labs.
And then she told me. GOOD NEWS! And she squealed with me! (told you she was my favorite)
I was rooting for the number 700. I said it all day like it was a mantra. So you can imagine I was super relieved to hear the number 1441. Good! Strong! NORMAL.
Tomorrow I go in for an ultrasound to confirm all is in my uterus. This is only based on my medical history (aka the zombryo) and not on my blood work. Shit is about to get real, people. I am so excited and happy and relieved (I think I already said that – but there is no better word).
Plaidbryo. You are rocking my world.
p.s. The graph shows the rise from 15dpo to today, 23dpo