The Birthday Fairy

the birthday fairyIn April of 2011 I welcomed a new tradition into our family: The Birthday Fairy. Since I have a birthday the day before Christmas I grew up with the story of St. Nick making a list and checking it twice. At some point in November I would ask for whatever toy was being advertised in between my favorite cartoons and the answer would often be, “We’ll just have to see if Santa brings it!”

How convenient, right?

I wanted such convenience when I created The Birthday Fairy. No need to tell me about the monster trucks you yearn for sweet child – let’s write a note to The Birthday Fairy and see if she comes through for us.

The Birthday Fairy first showed up on W’s 2nd birthday. She brought him a fantastic and large and expertly assembled kitchen. W was THRILLED and together we sent the fairy a thank you card.

This year we had to start talking about the fairy pretty soon after Christmas. He loved the surprise of Christmas morning but then started weaving, “and when The Birthday Fairy comes…” into his conversations. In the weeks leading up to his third birthday I helped him come up with his wish list and we put it in the mail in the hopes that if W was a well-behaved boy The Birthday Fairy would visit him with something on his list.

The morning of his birthday W opened the door to his bedroom and screamed with happiness, “THE BIRTHDAY FAIRY BROUGHT ME A MIXER TRUCK!!!”

What happened next I did not anticipate. Jealousy. W’s birthday occurred during his Spring break from school. When he returned to school it happened to be another student’s birthday. W did not like to think of his Birthday Fairy visiting other children. He felt that if it was a birthday, anyone’s birthday, that HE should get the gift.

Things are complicated to understand at this age.

This weekend will be W’s 1/2 birthday. Three and a half. That suddenly sounds so old. W is obsessed with getting bigger because “bigger” is when all the good stuff happens. When he is bigger he can ride a school bus, sit in the passenger seat, try out chewing gum, and a hodge podge list of other desirables.

He doesn’t know it yet, but The Birthday Fairy is going to bring him 1/2 a pink cake on Saturday. (obviously because she knows that pink is his favorite color)

It’s hard to believe that three and a half years ago my life was W free. I chronicled every moment of his conception but never actually shared the details of his birth until six months ago.

This moment changed everything.

And now I am working towards having another one of these moments. On W’s half birthday I will be at the clinic having a frozen embryo transfer. Amazing.

I love hearing about the day babies were born. But more than that I love hearing how babies came to be in a family. So many families are really good at documenting the day, but those of us in the infertility world know that the real story, the EPIC story is every day leading up to a birth day. Every trying cycle, every phone call from a clinic or attorney, every day of waiting and hoping until finally, FINALLY, our dream is in our arms. That is a story I hope we can all tell our children.

Comments

  1. Hannah says

    My birthday is in February so when I was two I couldn’t understand why Christmas gifts came from under a tree, but birthday gifts didn’t. That year, my grandmother and aunts pulled out a few limbs from their artificial Christmas tree, stuck them in a tall vase and decorated them with bows and ribbon. TA-DA! The birthday tree was born. I love the idea of a birthday fairy, too!

  2. kathy says

    every year on their birthdays we tell our boys the story of their birth. two of the best days of our lives. they are 13 and 8 and they look forward to it even still!!!! our boys were conceived thru known donor and both know the story. we answer all questions as best we can based on age appropriateness and often check in with them about it. we have open conversation at home and encourage it from all of us. i just wish these birthdays would slow down!!!

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