One in Forty Million: My thoughts on Nadya Suleman

octo I have learned through various news outlets and her recent Today Show appearance that Nadya Suleman needs public assistance. At once the flood gates of judgement opened up online and an angry mob got to typing away about how angry and pissed off they were that Nadya is using food stamps. BECAUSE SHE SAID SHE NEVER WOULD.

Here’s the deal, let’s set aside the judgment about life choices this woman has made about how she created her family. As a single woman also going through fertility treatments I have certainly taken a pause when hearing about her clinic and the steps she and they went through to bring so many children into her family. The reality is that this woman has a large family. HOW she got there is not important anymore. These children exist. There is no going in a time machine.

No one wants to need and depend on public assistance. No one should be made to feel horrible for applying for these benefits. And my goodness, if she is GETTING assistance then she needs it. The process is not an easy one.

So what makes this woman such a target for so many? I am thankful and glad that her family will not have to worry about where their next meal will come from.

It is so easy to look at another person’s family, their choices, and see flaws. It is so easy to point and gawk and take delight in someone’s misfortune. I encourage you to take the high road and set aside your anger or judgment.

Nadya Suleman is now the head of one family out of over FORTY MILLION families that count on food stamps to survive. These are hard times for everyone. Let’s all put down the sticks and stones and stand together to help fight the hunger epidemic in America.

photo credit: procsilas via photopin cc


  1. Well said.

  2. Sadly a lot of people picking up pitchforks against women/families on assistance complain about having ‘too many mouths to feed’ are the same people that fight tooth and nail for the rights of that very same child before they are born. Then drop them the moment they become a real burden on ‘their’ taxes.

  3. Yes!

  4. Yes, exactly.

  5. This is so well-put, Dresden. These are hard times for so many…

  6. Well said.

  7. Wow. Amen.

  8. Natasha says:

    I am a strong proponent of women having the right to have children or to remain childless. I think people are disgusted with the fertility clinic that threw ethics to the wind. I believe that she was treated like a human experiment. Regardless of how the children were conceived, they are here and need to be fed, clothed and loved. There needs to be stricter legislation with respect to fertility clinics. I wouldn’t be able to adopt 8 children without a viable income, home and supports. How could those doctors be that irresponsible

  9. And, the choir said “Amen!”

    Well said, my friend.

  10. I don’t know why people get their knickers in a knot over an anomaly either. There was extreme poor judgement on the part of the clinic and the individual. You most like don’t need to legislate against it or worry about what it adds to the bottom line, it speaks to nothing of the bigger picture.

  11. AGREED. It must be pretty amazeballs sitting in that glass house of judgement. If Ms. Suleman needs help, so be it. I’d rather lend a hand than wag a finger.

  12. I see your point, but what about personal responsibility for the choices we make. She isn’t just a woman with a large family who needs assistance. It is naive to categorize her as such. She is a woman who actively and knowingly made choices which led her to an inevitable place. She should be flogged in the arena of public opinion…lest others think that it is right to make irresponsible decisions, cash in on 15 minutes of fame and rely on the public for their financial support in the long run.

    Of course you relate to some of the choices she made, but there is a huge difference between taking control of your reproductive life in a responsible way (like you did) and in a freakish/ irresponsible way (like she did).

    Just my opinion. (I can respect yours and I hope you can respect mine.)

    • Hey Jen says:

      I can certainly respect your opinion. Especially since you made it in such a noninflammatory way.

      I don’t agree with what Nadya Suleman did at all, but now it becomes the issue of her keeping food in the mouths of the children. I was recently on food assistance myself because I lost my job. I was only on it until I found a new job, which was relatively quickly, but I can understand where she is coming from. It’s frightening not knowing how you are going to feed your family. Of course, I’m a single mother of only 2, not …1400. er, 14. (snark!) Anyway, you get my point.

  13. “The reality is that this woman has a large family. HOW she got there is not important anymore. These children exist.”


  14. There’s no reason to ever deny any hungry child food stamps. But I do think that when people put themselves out there in such an open way, then they have to deal with the fact that people are going to judge. The victims are her children. No shame should be put on them. And no shame should be put on her for food stamps. But I can’t help but judge her questionable decisions and what she is putting her kids through. I also judge our media for glorifying it.

  15. Shannon says:

    Very well said.

  16. The focus has to be on the children and not the mother. She is an easy target because of her poor judgement, I’m sad to say.

  17. This is such a touchy subject and you wrote your point very well Dresden. I grew up on foodstamps. My mom had 5 kids and then got divorced so we had to be on them. My experience was that financial assistance needs to be changed somehow because once you are on it, it is really hard to get off. In fact, I know personally people that divorce their husbands and still live together so they can get government aide. It is really frustrating for those of us that work our tails off to provide for our families WITHOUT assistance then to pay with our taxes for those other families to have assistance. That is my view. I am just saying how I feel. But, thanks to hard working Americans, I had food when I was a child, so I guess I am paying for what I used back then, now as an adult? No idea…..

    Back to Nadya (sorry, got totally side tracked). Ever since the news of her most recent births broke out, I have felt a deep ache in my heart for those kids. Now with her getting publicly flogged like this, what kind of life will they have? I seriously hurt thinking of the life they will have. I think we shouldn’t support and praise her decision to have them like she did – but you are RIGHT Dresden – we shouldn’t hurl hateful words at her either. Those poor kids……

  18. I agree that all that really matters at this point is that there are children who need to eat. How they came into existence is irrelevant.

  19. Oh my totally absolutely get what you are saying. Well put!

  20. Well put. It’s useless to hash out how she got in this situation. Her kids are not to blame. They need to eat.

    I’m only surprised that she lasted this long (3 years?) without going on them. Was she earning too much from the online reality show gig to qualify for food stamps.?

  21. the past is past. we learn from our mistakes. As my father has told me on many occasions – experience comes from mistakes, how do we know it was a mistake? from experience.

    I’m sure she’s learned what to do and not. those kids need food in their tummy and a roof over their heads, if food assistance is needed so be it!

    i’ve got a family of six, and yes i’m currently on assistance, and quite thankful for it. as rice, tofu, & pasta will only go so far. The system is broken, it DESPERATELY needs to be fixed. there’s been many times where we make “just a little too much gross” for assistance but we’re losing everything because we don’t make enough. I can go on about this..but i’ll stop.

    NO Judgement here. as long as you learn from life’s lessons that’s all that matters.

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