What would you do if I sang out of tune?

friend phones We met years ago as many great loves meet, on the internet. We sought comfort and advice and encouragement for where we were in our life and the magic of serendipity connected us.

Five women all ready to be mothers.

For years, as we struggled to achieve parenthood, we had varying degrees of awareness of each other. Read each other’s blogs or recognized a reference to them in another person’s post. None of us were on the exact same complicated path at the same time.

Diagramming how a friendship is born is amusing. Can you really point to the exact moment when you reached the point of no return with a person? There is just an invisible threshold where you know that this person, these people, will always be in your life.

Our young kids know and love each other. Since only one of us in our group of friends actually had sex to have kids (YOU CAN DO THAT??!!) it is great to have a diverse group of children growing up within our normal.

The connective tissue of our friendship is text messaging. All five of us are in a group on our phones and all day, every day, it chirps with stories of our life. There is no schedule, no routine to our talks, it is just an open channel for sharing and supporting. We have griped about lack of sleep, adventures in potty training, the never-ending colds that come with parenting toddlers.

We have also talked about cancer. And we have talked about divorce. And we have talked about moments that are so terrifying in our life that we can not say them out loud to anyone else.

And then there have been the babies. News that two babies are coming into our group within one week!

We talk about what to wear to work parties, on dates, to conferences. Right now one of us is talking about some bad chili they ate last night.

These are my loves. My dearest loves. The women that have seen me at my absolute worst and celebrated my best. I feel empowered to know them, inspired, awed.

One of my friends said, “This is my safe judgement free zone. I can say things I can’t say in other places and know you know what I mean.”

And another, “It’s like having access to a virtual sisterhood 24/7. It’s a way to feel connected and have a place to share the good and cheesy and also a place to go when facing the stresses of life-like postpartum depression, husband/kid drama, and the sportscaster in my head.”

And, “I know anytime of the day I can reach you and you can count on someone to be there to lend support or tell it like it is.”

As for me? I get by with a little help from my friends.

St. Valentine’s day is next week and while I don’t currently have the love of a husband or boyfriend, I have the love of my friends and that is worth a sea of chocolate and flowers and tokens of affection.

Do you have a friend that is your Valentine? I want to hear about her/him/them. If you don’t have a Valentine I will totally be yours. I am feeling very lovely this year.

Comments

  1. says

    Aaaaand, what beautiful friends you have. Love this post so much and I also have a free-judgement zone I like to visit a couple of times a day, too. Will you be my Valentine?

  2. says

    Yes, when, exactly, does a friend turn into a FRIEND. The kind of friend who is family? There should be chimes, and glitter, and a golden glow to the air.

    Instead, I think, there’s quite often body fluids of one sort or another, one way or another.

  3. says

    I’m extremely lucky. Not only do I have my husband as a Valentine but I have a few dear friends who are my Valentines too. These are women who have always been there for me and we’ve all been to hell and back together. But, I wanna be your Valentine too.

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  1. [...] texted with Mom, who immediately started beating herself up for not being with me. I texted with my closest friends. Cecily immediately texted back that she was on her way to get me. I cried. I cried. I [...]

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