Oh yes. It’s time for another open advice post.
So once again the comments are open to us all. I have more questions to ask and I hope I can provide some answers. So far no topic seems too out there and if you do feel nervous or squeamish about asking a question you can make up a name or be anonymous. You can ask as many questions as you like- just be sure that you ask each question as a unique comment so that people can answer directly to that question via the threaded comments. You should also feel free to provide advice to as many questions as you like. I have loved seeing all of the different perspectives and answers to some of the questions asked.
See you in the comments!
I’ll be the one with all the questions…
And in case you haven’t taken a glance at the open advice posts here is a sampling of some of the kinds of questions people have asked (& been answered!) there:
1. How to spot clean with bleach
2. Recommendations for and questions about baby sunblock
3. Anti-depressants and sex drive
I have some questions about toddler “discipline” and a question about how you guys treat medium headaches. If you have a question bring it on in to the comments and let’s see if we can get it answered. And while you are there look to see if you can answer another person’s question.
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
Toddler advice: deep breathes. Pick your battles. I have found that when min man is acting up the most, he is bored. He is a VERY active child and needs a lot of stimulation or the ability to expend energy. Discipline for me comes with consistency even if I am exhausted. I would be letting him down if I sent him mixed messages by not doing a time out for the same behavior.
Erica gave some great advice but I need to add that it really depends on the toddler. With my oldest, simply telling him firmly that something was a no-no was enough to have him dissolve into tears and have him never do it again. Then there is Gabe. With Gabe, nothing seems to make an impression if he really wants to do it (even now at age 4). That is why he would kamikaze leap off of everything.
Erica is right about consistency and picking your battles.
As for headaches, any type or kind start off being treated with the one-two punch of ibuprofen and acetaminophen (tylenol). Ibuprofen and acetaminophen work on different receptors to kill your pain and, since they work differently, they work much better together than separately. For a medium headache, I start out with 2 ibuprofen (200 mg each) and one extra strength acetaminophen. That will usually at least take the edge off and leaves me the option of following up with 2 more ibuprofen and one more acetaminophen if I need it.
wow you guys are great! I haven’t even asked my questions and you are here for me!! Love it!
Just to keep things organized and threaded I’m going to ask my questions on a new line. But thank you guys!
I am trying to teach W “one finger” in regards to being in a room. He is very “must touch EVERYTHING!!!!!” which I know is normal. So we work on this “one finger” thing. IN the meantime- telling him “no” doesn’t work, stern looks? HA HA HA! W is this fantastic no fear, all curiosity boy and I love that. I just want to have the right kind of parental bumpers in place. Help!
We do one finger too (called “touch, touch”). And “stroke, stroke” works pretty well too. (I taught her to stroke my arm while nursing when she was whacking me in the chest instead.) The only thing I’ve come up with to encourage the one finger is just to do it myself. Oh, and some of those board books with the touchy feely stuff in them because they really lend themselves to one finger touching.
Oh, yeah. And just general active toddler behavior modification. Pay attention to him when he is being good. It’s so easy to use the good time to do other things, but the positive reinforcement for his good behavior really helps. (Matt is really bad at this and Elizabeth is a TERROR when he is around because that is the only way she gets his attention. Right now she’s standing on the arm of his chair, shouting.)
So I am taking a medication that is supposed to help prevent migraines and sometimes it does. But I still get headaches and usually in the evening. What non medication (I already work the excedrin) headache methods work for you?
Try an ice pack at the base of your neck. Also, lavender or eucalyptus essential oil rubbed into the temples, and if your mom can help, a facial massage. For that: from the bridge of the nose up and over the forehead going out toward the temples. And from sides of the nose under the eyes toward the cheekbones. That helps to release tension and ease pressure on the sinuses. It works miracles.
Facial massage and, depending on the headache, cranial massage. Mmmmm, head massages make me MELT. Aside from that, rubbing temples, rubbing the neck. Caffeine.
I’m rocking the non-med headache stuff these days myself — I am usually a huge fan of aspirin for little ones and codeine for real ones.
Coca-cola. Or black tea if there’s no coke available, but coke really works better. (NB: these are not caffeine-withdrawal headaches. Caffeine is just a good drug. I think the sugar helps, too.)
A nice, heavy pillow over my forehead/eyes — we used to have the most perfectly bean-bag-y one with balsam in it. not sure if it was the weight or the cool or the smell that helped so much.
Lying down in the dark.
Rubbing the middle of my forehead.
Taking my hair down and rubbing the back of my scalp.
I have one friend who swears by squeezing middle finger and thumb together, hard. It kinda works.
That’s all I got.
The way my non-doctor brain understands caffeine works (on non-caffeine withdrawal headaches) based on research done while pregnant: Apparently caffeine (in smaller amounts) is a vasodilator (expands the blood vessels), making it possible to get more blood flowing, especially in places like the brain, thereby expediting the getting rid of crappy stuff. (Isn’t it amazing that I’m not a doctor? Hah.)
A chilled face mask, one of the ones that make you look like a superhero (or you can just put a wet washcloth in the fridge for a couple minutes). Coke is good too (if the pain is so bad that you’re nauseated, I recommend stirring the fizz out first).
Going to sleep is the only thing that cures my headaches. But that doesn’t really help much for advice, does it?
Those evening headaches are mostly stess induced. Ironically they come on when the stress stops. So I try autogenic training or my favourite yoga excercises. Learning those from a book worked for me, you don’t need an expensive class and I don’t think you need all that spiritual stuff to go with it if you don’t like it, it’s just a way to let go and fill up those batteries again.
The oils and massage are also good.
Usually if I get a headache in the evening, it’s from dehydration. So I chug 6 glasses of water. Yes, 6. Or as many as I can get down. My aunt swears hers are from lack of protein, so she goes off and eats chicken.
One thing I have learned at school – try holding ice in your hands. Or sticking it in your armpits. Or on your belly. The theory is that the blood will go to protect your internal organs, and will leave your head. One of my classmates swears by ice in the armpits!
Brian Mulligan cervical snags RAWK… I will look for a youtube for you that isn’t in German… or if it is in German that you can still understand it LOL. They will shift most head aches NOW
I know it sounds weird but you know how great it feels after you’ve gotten your hair cut? The reason being from what I’ve read is because the hairstylist is lightly tugging your hair. When I have a real bad headache I’ll run my hand through my hair and kind of tug at the base of the roots. It’s soo soothing.
I get terrible migraines just before and after my period, but I haven’t been taking my meds because they’re expensive and sometimes don’t work. What has worked, is one extra strength Tylenol, one muscle relaxant and a small cup of strong coffee taken together. Cheaper than my meds and it been more effective so far.
I get headaches like that when I haven’t had enough water at the end of the day, or if I haven’t had enough protein for a few days. Would that help?
I need advice on getting cigarette smoke smells out of a house. We have painted the ceiling and replaced the flooring in my FIL’s house, and repainting the walls is a no go. They have been cleaned 3 times. Apparently it really smells, and of course it’s in a city 8 hours from mine, and we are trying to sell it, so I can’t go over every day to air out the house.
Any suggestions?
See if you can rent a charcoal air filter. It is what we use at the hotel when people are rude and smoke in non-smoking rooms. (and what I used after smoking in my apartment for a month while in depression mode) Works like a charm!!
If the air filter doesn’t work and you can’t redo the walls, there’s not much else to do. Have you tried Febreeze after cleaning? Otherwise, there is one option – As part of the sale price, include a rebate (maybe $250 or $500) for cleaning/repainting. That way, people know going in that it’s a small issue and feel like they’re being compensated for it.
Leave an open can of Folgers somewhere. My ex’s dad was a truck driver, and he said that’s what truckers who haul smelly stuff (even pigs!) put in the back of their trailers to get rid of the rank odors. I’ve tried it in a smelly fridge, and it really works. The coffee grounds absorb the odors. Has to be changed once in a while though.
i’m sure in every relationship one person is really good at something that perhaps the other isn’t… but then you are always stuck doing that thing. not because you love it, but because you are better than the other person at it, so it falls in your lap. how do you deal with the emotions of that? do you just accept that this is what it is and this is my role? what if you feel resentful? how do you deal?
Ideally there are enough non-desirable things that each of you does that it all evens out.
If it’s not even, you could assign the other person extra neutral/equal tasks to make up the difference. (This assumes the other person has some competencies and isn’t totally inferior at everything.)
If you can afford it, outsourcing also solves the problem.
As an example, I am passable at fixing plumbing problems, but I don’t enjoy it at all. My husband is preposterously hopeless and has no business going near any tools whatsoever. So, in the past when things would break, I would be the one under the sink for hours (or under the toilet!) because he was just incompetent. After working on a plumbing issue, he would certainly take over duty for other stuff for that day and probably a few days after, depending on the time and the difficulty. Now that we have more money and our time is more precious, we just pay a plumber. I am always so happy to see the plumber, because it means that it’s no longer my responsibility.
Hope that helps!
Yowza, have I been there – most of it with babycare, too. A lot of it was deciding for me whether it was worth getting upset over and if you are willing to accept the role of the ‘competent one’. For example, Mr. X HATES talking to people on the phone, so I am the one who makes all of the phone calls – set up appointments, call for pizza, etc. I decided that I don’t mind doing those things, although they can get tedious at times. I realized that his discomfort at doing these things and the ease with which I could do them was enough to let him get a pass.
So, if this is something that is not too difficult to do and you don’t mind, I wouldn’t get upset. But, if it is something important, I would move into getting the other person to begin to carry their share. Baby steps, though – have them do little things first and work up to the bigger stuff.
I deal in a very mature way – I whine about it.
I try to have discussions about division of workload, but it just never gets resolved. So then I try to keep in mind the things my husband does that I refuse to remember when I’m feeling resentful.
Marta,
Yoga or stretching helps my headaches. Oh, and head massage. I had that awful headache when we went to see that America Ferrara movie – you gave me a head massage and it changed my life! I had no idea they could zap a headache like that.
Is it worth getting a water softener? We have ridiculously hard water. Most of the people in our city use a water softener. The thing is they are expensive and require monthly upkeep with salt. Is it worth it? Does it really help soften the water so you don’t have those nasty deposits everywhere? Should we rent the unit or just buy outright?
yes, you should get one. i think you only have to add salt once every three months or so, and the salt if fairly cheap.
since the water is softer, you will notice that things like soap and laundry detergent and dishwashing liquid last longer because they suds faster.
i would buy one if you own your home, rather than renting it. if you rent, i would rent it.
Does anyone have a recipe for low-calory, filling and not too hard to make dishes they’d like to share? I never know what to make and then fall back on pizza or pasta way too often.
We serve this with brown rice and salad. SO GOOD! My 4-year-old eats an entire fish filet. Use lower calorie stuff (low fat mayo, margarine, parm. cheese)
Broiled Tilapia Parmesan
Ingredients
* 1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
* 1/4 cup butter, softened
* 3 tablespoons mayonnaise
* 2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
* 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
* 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 1/8 teaspoon onion powder
* 1/8 teaspoon celery salt
* 2 pounds tilapia fillets
1. Preheat your oven’s broiler. Grease a broiling pan or line pan with aluminum foil.
2. In a small bowl, mix together the Parmesan cheese, butter, mayonnaise and lemon juice. Season with dried basil, pepper, onion powder and celery salt. Mix well and set aside.
3. Arrange fillets in a single layer on the prepared pan. Broil a few inches from the heat for 2 to 3 minutes. Flip the fillets over and broil for a couple more minutes. Remove the fillets from the oven and cover them with the Parmesan cheese mixture on the top side. Broil for 2 more minutes or until the topping is browned and fish flakes easily with a fork. Be careful not to over cook the fish.
Just made this Saturday, and it was to die for:
Quinoa Primavera
1 1/2 c quinoa prepared in 3 broth of your choice
3 oz of cream cheese (a little less than half a block)
fresh or dried basil or italian herbs
2 tbsp butter or oil
2 cloves chopped garlic
5 cups any veggies you have in the fridge (I used wax beans, zucchini, carrots, and an orange bell pepper) chopped into bite-size pieces
Romano or Parmesan (optional)
Once you’ve made the quinoa and all broth is absorbed, stir in cream cheese and dry or fresh seasonings. Heat oil or butter in stick skillet and throw in garlic for about 30 secs. Then throw in veggies. Cook till veggies are crisp-tender ( like for a stir fry dish). Toss veggies and quinoa together (will need a large bowl to do this in) and sprinkle with romano or parmesan.
Pretty low fat. High protein and fiber.
Does anyone have an online photo printing site they like? I used Webshots for the last batch and wasn’t thrilled. The prints tended to be reddish. I had all the 0-3 months pics printed. I really need to get more printed soon, so it’s not a ridiculously unmanageable amount.
Also, has anyone done any kind of sleep training while co-sleeping? I don’t think I could do CIO. Sometimes Sunshine goes for a long stretch. 4-7 hours at a time I can deal with, but sometimes (last night) she has nights where she wakes up every 2 hours or so. She goes right back to sleep if I nurse her for a few minutes, but I’m a wreck the next day. She has slept through the night exactly twice. Of course, not consecutively. And the other night went 9 hours. There doesn’t seem to be anything in particular I’m doing on the good nights and not doing on the bad ones, and vice versa. Sometimes dream feeds seem to help, and sometimes she still wakes up 2-3 hours later wanting to nurse.
For photo printing I am a big fan of mpix. They always come out nice, even the larger prints.
Suggestions for teaching “inside voices?” During meal time at least part of the meal involves some type of screaming, singing, or talking really loud. I do’nt mind as much, as long as they are eating and not too horribly loud, but I know my parents don’t like it. They are used to eating silently while watching the news.
Does anyone have any dairy free recipes they would like to share? We live dairy free and I am bored!
Yo I have a question did you get my EMAIL. With the attachment. Sorry but I didn’t want to send you another email if you didn’t get the first one.