Sometimes life is cruel. I have discovered a totally unintentional cruel moment. Now I can vouch that playtex is a fine product, but if you are going through The Treatments do yourself a favor and don’t look at the wrapper. A very amusing post about the wrappers is here (found by googling) and it showcases all of the wrappers in their brilliance.
But to wrap it up (heh) these wrappers come with some pretty obnoxious messages. Messages that would totally mess with your head if you were dealing with infertility. Some of the choice ones are, “practice makes perfect”, “peak performance…always!”, and the totally unawesome, “what’s your game plan?”
But it got me thinking, in the land of inappropriate that is sometimes my brain, how brilliant it would be if there was a tampon marketed to the angry and frustrated group of women that don’t really need a pep talk for their vagina.
Here is an example of one of the messages: “Just Go”
So if you were granted a day at the tampon factory (shudders. because I just realized there probably IS such a thing!) what sort of message would you put on the wrapper? I’ll come back and share (via photoshop) some of your suggestions.
{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }
How about “Suck It Up”?
what nitwit came up with the whole wrapper talk notion, anyway? i have wanted to kick that guy in the teeth for years. and i’m sure it was a guy, aren’t you?
at least “kotex understands” seems to have vanished from their wrappers. i can’t tell you how many times in its heyday i found myself screaming at a panty liner.
I’d say “screw this, get a Diva Cup and never use me again.”
haha – I’m with Cecily.
Mine would say “the bitch is back”.
The one I hate is Always and their stupid “have a happy period” comercials. Those make me want to throw something at the TV.
Ummm yeah…I feel like a moron because I don’t “get” some of the messages. Are they supposed to be encouraging you to play sports during your period or are they speaking directly to your vagina or what?
Mine would say “Forget sports, find the cookie dough”
“You need more chocolate”
How about “just go with the flow”, eww…that’s kind of gross one!
How about “ew”?
“Here we go…again”
OMG!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the link to the blog, that was hysterical, that is the best laugh I have had all week. I am not quick witted enough to come up with one right now, but I’ll get back to you on that!
“river of life”
Sally says, pull my string.
I would put.. “Oh Bloody Hell”
Hey, that’s my blog! There’s a follow-up to this entry. You should read more of my blog. The story of my mammogram, for example, is one of my favorites.
Go With The Flow is so deliciously distasteful. Or maybe a joke like “Ya know what elephants use for tampons? Sheep!”
- PK
Here from Stirrup Queens comment chaining entry. I have no idea what I out on those wrappers, but I’m terribly uncreative. But I agree with a previous commenter, I always found those, “have a happy period” sayings to be oh so annoying. Like they were mocking me.
“Up yours!” comes to mind…
“keep it tight!”
oh my! I haven’t used tampons in YEARS! And the other vajayjay used tampax, so no witty sayings – but I’d be all snarky, and shit:
“don’t sneeze too hard!”
OMG that’s hysterical. I’ll go with Plug ‘er up!
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