Or a giant snow storm coming on the day you are planning to reunite with your sister.
Don’t get me wrong, I love the snow, and I am totally enjoying this reentry back into a climate with winter, but after soooooooo much anxiety and anticipation and did I mention anxiety???, it kind of sucks to have a snow day cancel such huge plans. We are aiming to get together next weekend. Another week of angst.
Today Mother had a doctor’s appointment with the doc that will be her new primary care physician. (good appointment, great doctor) Bonus was that W and I got to drive in with her and meet friends for lunch. Do you realize how cool it is to just call someone up and say, “wanna do lunch??”
One of the things that was so hard about care-giving for GM was how much of a shut in it made me. There were a few years where I could safely leave her alone and recharge my extroverted batteries, but once we moved to Florida that era was certainly over. And eventually I became this weird hybrid of an forced introvert with longings of social activity. And then I kind of forgot how to be social. And it was common that after a rare dinner with friends I would spend the drive home convinced I had said something stupid or inappropriate or talked too much or not enough…
Today was just easy and nice and simple and I probably said many stupid things but I was ok.
Around this time last year we had to get GM into a nursing facility for around the clock care. I’m having one of those, “holy fuck! What a year!!!!” moments.
And I am just a bit weepy missing my Grandmother and that special and beautiful relationship that we were able to have. A year ago I had no idea what motherhood would feel like, but I had learned, through being GM’s advocate, how to fight. And I think about all of the battles I have had to fight for W and I know that I learned many of the coping skills because of GM.
Oh man I could so easily slide into the deep, deep sad right now and I am yanking myself back. You hear me, sad, I am YANKING back.
Let’s talk about the snow. We could be getting a lot. As in the weather people up here are going bananas and using phrases like, “We are NOT kidding around here!!” I went to the grocery store this afternoon and it was like speed round on Supermarket Sweep (oh man did I love that show)- people were zooming around and ramming into aisles and yelling at their shopping buddies ridiculous things like, ” Get ham!!!!!!! We need HAM!!!!”
My snow weekend necessities: dog food, cat food, toilet paper, formula, frozen pizza, bbq chips
And this guy:
You forgot bread and milk. I don’t know why ,but your always suppose to buy them if there’s a hurricane coming.lol Snow must be the same i think.
Oooh, I miss that baby.
I’m sorry that you had to reschedule your plans with your sister.
By the way, I’ve never heard you say anything stupid.
Sorry you had to postpone! Ya’ll are going to get whopped with snow… calling for two feet in D.C. Just called my dad and ordered him to stay in the next few days.
Frozen pizza and chips (although I prefer anything but bbq) sounds like good snow food. Also needed is some hot chocolate, in case you have to go outside and introduce a baby to snow.
At some point, you will think of how helping your GM prepared you for life, and you will smile and feel capable. You will still miss her, but you’ll stop focusing on the fact that she’s gone and start focusing on how wonderful that special relationship was, and how W will have that with your mom. It’s going to be a while, but it will come.
I just had to pipe in and say that I also LOVED Supermarket Sweep, and had total fantasies about being on the show (I know, NICE LIFE!!).
I used to love that show. I wonder how those people who were on it feel if they watch themselves now…. thinking not good at all. Man I kinda miss seeing snow, although where I lived in US we had none, i grew up with it on the East Coast. Here in Cairo we have nothing but sun. It’s been super warm for January too. W just does not stop getting handsomer man what a delish!
Cat food? I’m sorry your meet up had to be postponed but I hope you weather the storm well and that you have a good weekend.
What? You don’t need ham? I remember my first winter in MD, we had one car, and were pretty poor, and I didn’t know from preparing for storms. Luckily, we had lots of frozen food and the electricity didn’t going out.
Sorry for the schedule delay. That sort of thing always throws me off.
I’m sorry it didn’t work out to meet up with her this week, hopefully you will be able to dig out by next week. And I seriously hope you have more in your house than A frozen pizza and some chips!! Make some nummy soup….mmmmm…. love you!!! And keep warm!
I was that insane person at the supermarket! I’m making curry, pizza (pizza is SO easy to make, dude, why buy frozen??), fried rice and quesadillas! and I’m watching MAD MEN and writing and that’s about it this weekend. Can’t wait.
It really is amazing how quickly a year goes by, and how much can change.
That W is just so. darn. cute. Makes me want to smoosh him, I’m not even kidding.
Sad is okay in doses. The good news is that you certainly never need to be sad alone.
I looooved Supermarket Sweep. Always buy baby formula! Always!
If it’s supposed to snow even 1/2″ here it’s like the apocalypse. The lines at Walmart are ridiculous.
I am making cast iron skillet pizza tomorrow. Yum!! And at some point we will bundle up like fools and go out and try to find a hill to sled on. OK, likely pull my son around and not find a hill get cold, turn around and go home
Now you can change your week preceding the get-together with your sister to one that does not include negative thoughts or fears about it all. I believe in mantras. Write a 3-4 sentence mantra and any time the worries, anxieties start creeping up repeat the mantra over and over until you’ve pushed that thought back down.
Enjoy the snow. Enjoy your love, your W.
oh, supermarket sweep, what an awesome show that was!
that sucks sweetie
W is gorgeous as always. E wants to know when 2 handsome dogs can go cruise for chicks! 
I’m a mom, a blogger, and a Ph.D. student, and I need your help. I’m doing a study about why women blog, and you have been selected at random to participate in a short survey about what motivates you to blog and what you get out of blogging.
I hope you will take it by clicking this link. Please do not forward the link.
http://www.surveygizmo.com/s/231228/women-bloggers
Thanks in advance for your help. Feel free to contact me at gmmasull@syr.edu if you have any questions.
Gina Chen
Ph.D. student
S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications
Syracuse University
For the love of God, tell me you got bread, milk, and eggs. Don’t you know that you can’t survive a storm without bread, milk, and eggs? LOL
I’m so glad you are pulling back from the sad.
Smooches