Once in a Blue Moon

I woke up too early this morning and felt a bit unsettled. I think hearing rain was what was throwing me. Isn’t that silly? Oh who am I kidding. I woke up knowing that this is not only the last day of the year, but the last day of a decade. And damn, what a decade it has been. I contemplated doing one of those brief (ha!) sum ups for each year of the 2000′s, but then realized that I can’t remember much. It’s all in a haze of “Los Angeles, movies, death, Alabama, Alzheimer’s, depression, infertility, birth, death, life…” Well those are ten things, I guess that captures ten years for you.

And before I look forward, how about a quick (I promise) recap of my holidays. It went a little something like this:

1) Stress about driving on Christmas Eve in wonky weather conditions along side shitty drivers but dammit we are going to SING!

2) arriving a tad late to Marta’s family’s holiday meal- but then being enveloped into the kind of special awesome that seems to be unique to large and close-knit families. Good food, great company, and W’s first caroling experience. (& Waaaaa! I didn’t have my camera!)

3) waking up on Christmas morning and pushing away my “BAD MAMA*” thoughts because I had not really purchased any gifts for W. He was loved, he was hugged, he was kissed and squeezed. And people that love us had given him gifts to open and wrapping paper to eat. (*I was going to write more about this, but honestly it is way too jumbly and lame and by the time I feel fine enough to write about it I will probably be ok for reals. It just sucks in some moments.)

4) Having a fancy (& free!) breakfast from the hotel on Christmas morning. W probably consumed a bucket of jam and charmed everyone in the dining room with his glee.

5) Having Christmas dinner from WaWa. The touchscreens of awesome!

6) Spending the day after Christmas at the Sears Autobody shop because the ‘Service car NOW!!!!!’ light was on and the breaks seemed to be about to give. (Simple oil change, and discovery that the breaks were just dandy but our two front tires were bald and poorly aligned.) Nursing in the lobby of the auto shop? Priceless.

7) Having a girl’s night out with Marta & her family. Mmmmm. Cocktails!

8 ) Driving around Philly with Mother & W and going to Honey’s Sit & Eat- a place that I went to every time I was in the Northeast for IVF’s and the FET. This time needing a highchair. This time also having to apologize to the wait staff and surrounding patrons for flying coffee mugs. (seriously, this boy is all about the grab and toss these days)

9) Getting to spend time with Dr. Molly and then gathering all of W’s God parents together for a Godparent Trifecta. Seriously amazing moment. Seriously.

10) Driving up to a small town in Pennsylvania and meeting, for the first time, one of my Grandfather’s cousins and seeing that she has the exact same color of blue eyes that my Pop did (& that W and I now have). This is a woman that my Grandparents adored. She wrote to GM several times a month- even when GM was no longer able to write back herself. I will probably cry if I write more, but it was pretty wonderful to spend time with her and her family. Which are my family. But before I never could say that and now I can. Know what I mean?

And now are you ready for the big thing that arrived in the mail? Just a little envelope really. A holiday card that had been sent to my now old address in Florida and had safely made its way to my PO Box up here. From my sister. (Read this if you need a refresher.)

Yes.

So basically the theme of my holiday was Family. The family that I once traveled across the country to spend time with doesn’t really exist anymore. But Mother and W and I were surrounded by new family this year- some blood relatives and some hand picked by the Universe to cross our paths. And just when I thought a door to knowing a person would always be closed I see that it might not be.

It’s sort of a powerful way to begin a new year, a new decade. 2010. BRING IT!

Tagged as: about a boy