Also known as, what the fuck? Am I a MOMMYblogger or a blogger that happens to have a baby or a writer that blogs or a something else that just can’t be defined?
It happened just over 3 months ago and was heralded in by an e-mail that said the following, “We shifted your blog over to the “infertility alumni” group for now, but we also wanted to know if you would like to have your blog moved to parenting.”
And at the time you can bet your breastpump that I responded with a, “HELL YEAH!”
And this is where I feel like an asshole, but at the TIME, I wanted to shed my “infertility blogger” status like a newly thin gal tosses out her fat jeans. I know, I know.
Now that I have had some distance I have a different sort of perspective. While yes I do seem to blog a LOT about W I really don’t want it to be the only think I blog about.When I started this blog it was about chronicling the process of becoming a single Mother by choice. I had zero idea that it would take so damn long. And while I certainly blogged about 99% of that journey (am I still the only person that will admit that they farted during an IUI?) I also had a lot of other stuff going on as well.
There were a lot of lulls in between trying…
And many times I wanted to push myself away from the topic of fertility and infertility. I needed to write/process/purge about the other stuff. The living back in the South stuff. The miscellaneous distant family stuff. And mostly the taking care of a Grandmother that probably didn’t like me much from the ages of 9-21 but was now dependent on my care and basically taught me how to let go of a lot of random baggage and just give in to a new beautiful relationship with so much gratitude and love.
So to say that I am now a MOMMYblogger that is an infertility blogger graduate feels like all of the writing I did about other stuff didn’t happen or wasn’t read. Weird, right?
I know that there are some of you that read me because you are going through or have gone through the infertility hell, but I hope that you also read because you are interested in GM or Mother, or whatever else I happen to hit publish on.
(& may I just say that I feel like such a tool for even talking about where I fit in within the blogosphere because it shows that I care about this stuff. Which seems kind of silly, but I am one of those people that like to have order and yet I sort of shrug off the need to have order within my google reader. Fertility blogs mingle next to political blogs that are elbow to elbow with food blogs that are spooning blogs that are just good reads.)
Basically, like some of my favorite writers that happen to be Mothers that happen to blog, I am feeling twitchy about labels. I just want to blog.
And win the lotto.
So now that I got all of that foolishness out of my system I thought I would try writing about things that are annoying me right now (I told Briar that she should do this because when she is pissed off she cracks me up. And I say that with love. And also because it has been my chatting with Briar that has lead to most of this post in the first place. What an instigator!)
Things that are bothering me in no order except “bother” is sometimes too light a word for some of these:
1. What is the DEAL with all of the attention to eyelashes lately? Mascara commercials are freaking me out with these super extreme closeups of lashes. Also motorized mascara wands? Really? And why does Brooke Shields want to sell me eyelash medication? Are eyelashes to women what penises are to men? We want them longer, thicker, more noticeable? Am I then less of a woman by not really caring about the status of my eyelashes?
2. nazi references in the town hall “meetings” to have a health care “debate”. What the fuckity fuck people? I get it if you disagree with health care reform (that is actually a lie. I do NOT get that.) but what good is stopping the discussion?
3. I am so bummed out at the press tour for the new movie Julie & Julia. This is a movie that is based on a blog and yet no one is mentioning Julie Powell, the blog writer. And I love Julia Childs like the amazon soul-sister that she is, but a blogger turned her blog into a book and then a movie with Meryl Streep- can’t the girl get a shout out on The View?
4. mommyblogging thoughts: see the above drivel
5. That lady gaga kermit outfit. Muppet murder is never amusing.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Ooo – my friends and I are going to cook dinner and see the movie – we’re going to find something that she cooked and liked on her blog and make it!
You are a mom that blogs, because I love you and the term “mommyblogger” makes me gag a bit.
You’re a mom and a daughter and a grandmother and a kick-ass photographer and an all around super-cool chick who blogs–that’s who you are. Those identity boxes trip me up too.
On eyelashes: I saw the eyelash medication ad the other night–the ad that mentions “inadequate eyelashes”–and I had to ask, what the hell is an inadequate eyelash and why do women seem to be the only people with this problem? Does an inadequate eyelash fail to block a speck of dust? Does that same speck of dust shatter said eyelash into a million pieces? Or is this just another way of telling women we need to look like we’re wearing false eyelashes ALL THE TIME lest we look like hags? Whatever it is, the ad did feel a little too close to a Vi.agra commercial for my comfort.
Cali, I read your blog because you write beautifully. I am single with no kids and have considered having them on my own some day, but I read your writing because I enjoy hearing about W, about GM, about your mom, about the random things in your life, and your insights and smarts and sense of humor about all of them. I think you defy categories
I like order and labels too. I have a very nice labelmaker.
I was also wondering about the eyelashes all of a sudden. I’m glad to know I wasn’t the only one.
Cracking up about your comments over mascara. That motorized wand scares the hell out of me. What if your eyelashes get caught in the wand and you have to rip them out? OUCH!
Ehh, I dont consider myself a mommyblogger–I just dont feel I fit that label, so like you, I just want to blog and stay connected to this awesome community. And I will read ya forever.
And yea-mascara–whats UP with that?
Right on, Timaree! That eyelash medication commercial has been driving me up a wall! I’ve never worn mascara and never will nor do I judge my girlfriends (or boyfriends) who choose to wear mascara, but the whole inadequate thing drives me crazy. On one hand, I laugh at it, but on the other, as a teacher of teenagers, I wonder what messages this kind of thing is sending them? !And women of all ages, for that matter…
I was wondering about the whole eyelash thing to. As for your health care debate, and I use that word loosely, I think every American should be really worried that you can be bullied and lied to without anyone acutally explaining anything. What’s with all the Nazi references, does anyone using the term to refer to the president know what a Nazi is? I’m not a mommy blogger, I’m a holy crap don’t know where my life is going and I have a kid blogger. A little wordy but sums it all up. Did I mention you’re awesome.
I am neither a mommy nor an infertile, but I read your blog cuz you’re a great writer with heart, and your life is interesting! We can all appreciate your relationship w/GM. How you’ve described life w/her in her decline has, I’m sure, been helpful to many. And your chronicling your quest for motherhood has also been enlightening and informative. And now that W is here, well, we all take pride in him!
I’m with ya on the mascara/eyelash overload. Just try buying one after you’ve seen a spot for one that looks worthy. I think I know what brand I’m looking for, but them I’m overwhelmed w/all the choices. Ridiculous. Doesn’t everyone want longer, lusher, thicker lashes? Why so many variations? I think Brooke Shields has discovered she can make big $$ just doing commercials now. She’s seems to have a bunch running!
There was a piece just this week about Julie Powell on Nightline, so maybe she’ll start getting more press.
Don’t get me started on health care reform…
Stay cool! (I’m sure trying to!)
The hype over lashes IS ridiculous. Esp. the stupid medication for eyelashes. SERIOUSLY!?
Also? Did you know Julie Powell is from AUSTIN, that means where I live. HOW COOL!? How random!? =D
I think you’re AWESOME and you have every right to goosh over W because he’s so new and you spent so long trying for him. I will read, no matter what you post. Especially if you keep talking about what annoys you. Because it probably annoys me too.
(By the way, did you know that Lady GaGa is now suspected to be a hermaphrodite? What?!)
You know I’ve been formulating a post on “mommyblogger” and how I just get all twitchy over the term and where I fit (or don’t fit) in that spectrum. It’ll make its way out someday soon.
So funny you mention the eyelashes, because you know that review post that I’m supposed to be writing for you? It’s about mascara. I’m not obsessed with my lashes, but mascara, blush, and gloss comprise my minimal armory of facepaint. There’s a mascara that is a new favorite because whenever I wear it, a zillion people ask if I wear false lashes. I will wear fake hair in a heartbeat, but never will I glue fake lashes to my lids.
Julie and Julia – can’t wait to see it.
Eyelashes are the new lips. Exceptionnel by Chanel is the world’s best mascara. no Lie. People stop me on the street and comment on my long, thick lashes. For evenings, use several coats. For daytime, just one. Unbelievable. It will change your life.
I am totally cracking up over the line “muppet murder is never amusing.”
Right after having a baby of course that’s what’s on your mind. Eventually it stops being quite as all-consuming.
Mascara freaks me out.
I just love you.
I found you through the ALI connection but kept reading you because you are fabulous.
As for health car reform, we need to fix the system but the president’s plan scares me and sends me screaming into the night. It truly pisses me off that Obama’s plan forces us into this regimented plan but Congress and all union based health care plans are exempt from participating. Ok…stepping off my soapbox. Suffice it to say that health care needs fixing just not this way.
From my perspective you are:
A devoted daughter and grand daughter.
An amazing artist.
A talented writer.
A woman who longed to be a mother, over came multiple obstacles and challenges and finally realized the dream.
A brave, generous, kind woman who offers unique and personal views on life and isn’t afraid to let others know what’s on her mind. (Farting during an IUI? Women do get nervous, so I bet it’s happened to others–they’re just too embarrassed to mention it. I’ve not had that experience, BUT I did have a woman break wind during a pap smear I was performing for her. She was slightly mortified–and might have blogged about it too.)
This list would be much longer, but I only just discovered you. Suffice it to say, I’m a fan that hopes to read your blog for a long time.
Your blog fits MANY categories, AKA LIFE. It should be placed smack in the middle with lots of key search words attached to it so more more folks can stumble upon it and discover a kindred bloggo-friend.
The eyelash thing is SUPER weird to me. Really any medication/surgery for something superficial like that boggles my mind. Why on earth would anyone put themselves in even a teensy bit of danger over something so silly?
What is annoying me right now? A certain cable company. Why is it so difficult to move cable/internet from an apartment on the first floor to an apartment on the third floor? Did it really necessitate three phone calls totalling over an hour and a half and two technicians in my home for six hours on a Sunday? The other thing bugging me — that last 10% of moving that involves all the random crap that doesn’t fit in boxes but must be somehow moved.
I enjoy your writing Calliope so I drop by from time to time and enjoy reading what you have to say. That being said, sometimes its painful for me to read about your wonderful stories about your child. Not always, but sometimes it hurts because I start measuring my own milestones missed, and the fears of wondering if I’ll ever have it start bubbling up. I hate that about myself, and its not just with you but other dear bloggers who I adore but sometimes, because of the topic, it just reminds me of my empty gaping wound. Hope that is not offensive. I thought I’d share a perspective on that. Congrats though on being an alumni in the infertility world. I’m glad you escaped its clutches, hope “I one day do too.