We discovered something a week or so ago and up until this morning I refrained from goggling it as I was too terrified I would find out it was BAD. Couldn’t really find anything that said it was horrible, so I can now confess that the W is obsessed/in love/and in total awe of the visualizer on itunes.
It also turns out that we are not the only house experiencing such extreme joy.
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My mind is kind of jumbled at the moment. Still recovering from the news of the nonjob. I really had hopes there and I feel a bit the fool for it now. But honestly what else can keep us adrift if it isn’t foolish optimism. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again, I am just so fucking ready to be out of this funky chapter. I feel like there is just this haze of gray covering everything and until we have stability nothing will be in living color.
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We took the W to see GM today. We stayed with her while she ate her lunch with everyone in the day room, but she was having a bit of an agitated day. Some odd health issues are surfacing. The edema continues, but now she has this very hard spot on her tummy. The nurses did a scan of the area and it didn’t reveal what the problem was. Could it just be another manifestation of the edema? She is to begin lasix to help get rid of the extra fluid.
The other health thing is this cough that she has had for a while now. She had it the day we took her to get her hair cut. It is such an un-GM sort of cough. It sounds, well, to be frank, it sounds masculine. Like the sort of cough my Grandfather had. A deep cough. She gets Robitussin for it, but like the edema, it has just become this new thing that is almost shrugged off from the nurses and doctors at the nursing home. Not in a way that seems like they are ignoring it- but like it is her normal.
So today we found GM in the day room, actually in the hall near the day room as she does not like to be with the other people. “Those people are nuts,” is what she says. Or if she is feeling really cranky she will lean in to us and spell out that “those people are b-i-t-c…” and she stops herself.
She was thrilled to see the W, but when she saw him she exclaimed, “Hello A____!” And instead of being hurt or whatever that she did not now W’s name this day I was touched because the name she called him is the name of one of her grandsons. Sadly this is not really someone that she usually knows. She has lost so many people and family to Alzheimer’s. But that she had A___’s name available to her, today of all days, was sweet. He will be ten years old tomorrow and I often feel so sad that he missed out on the good Grandmother years that I got.
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I am worried that big stuff is happening out in the world and we will never know as the 24 hour news stations are only covering one thing (with a little Ed and Farrah thrown in). And while it is sad, tragic, and mysterious, I also feel like it is obsessive to spend so much coverage on this person’s death. Don’t get me wrong- I do think the death is newsworthy, but I just don’t think that it is all day long worthy. And I don’t think that interviewing random people about how they feel about the death is newsworthy. I just get a bit ill at how much media loves to smack their lips over this stuff. It seems disrespectful.
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The air conditioner in my room above the garage has broken. It began to leak and then it stopped. When the repair man came out to investigate on Friday (the 1st available day) he declared it kaput. And so there has been no cold air in my room since wednesday and W and I have been sleeping on a twin mattress that I put on the floor of GM’s room. Being six feet and amazon does not mix well with a twin bed. I also have weird as hell dreams sleeping in GM’s old room. And it makes me miss her so much to smell bits of White Linen wafting about.
Hopefully a new machine is coming soon.
I agree about the news coverage. Sorry about the job.
Elizabeth likes the screen saver from the DirectTV. It’s just a blue floaty thing.
So sorry about the job. I’m sure that must be stressful. I have barely watched TV lately (and never watch 24 hour news stations) so I have missed out on all the over coverage. See I knew there was a reason I avoided all that. The lack of AC suck!! I would die. Hope it’s fixed soon. As far as GM’s health stuff, the cough and the edema could be related. Also a hard spot on belly if it’s smallish and not the whole belly could possibly be a hernia. Watch the belly spot to see if it gets bigger or spreads. Lasix is good, maybe chest xray too if coughing doesn’t improve.
The constant news coverage about you know who has made me especially angry because my neighbor (was in his 60′s) dropped dead in his garage the same day, and then when the news coverage of M. started, it really pissed me off because I was thinking, Here is this real, live human who worked his freakin’ ass off and was about to retire and all the people on the news can talk about is how brokenhearted they are over this freak of a man that they never knew and would probably never know. Ok, I’ll stop now. Hope ya’ll get the AC fixed! I got excited today when I realized it was going to be “cooler” with a high of 94 instead of 97, but then it went up to 96. This hot weather means summer tomatoes, though! YAY!!
The power of the visualizer – cute photo! Connor was mesmerized by the weather channel when he was little – with Noah, it was ceiling fans. I’m sorry this job opportunity fell through, that really sucks. Hope the lasix helps with your GM’s edema. On the death of you know who, I even went so far as to turn off the radio in my car – was so tired of hearing people go on and on and on about it. And lastly – hope the a/c is back up and going soon – I hear you on trying to sleep on a twin mattress – totally not workable at 6′ tall.
We have a serious love for ceiling fans and a terrifying attraction to the tv. No matter how we hold her, she cranes her neck to see the tv. Looks like we will need to have it off for a couple of years. I tried the visualizer today and she seemed to like it, but I was a little scared she would LOVE it like the tv!
I agree whole-heartedly about the rediculously massive over coverage, and now also of the man who can’t stop screaming at you about everything from tile cleaner to pop tarts…. I also agree that it seems disrespectful. But I also think that if they didn’t do the 24 hour coverage, then of course their families would be pissed. So sad. i would much rather the U.S. was keeping an eye on North Korea, like the rest of the world is. That scares the shit out of me!
And I’m sorry to hear about GM’s new ailments, I will keep her in my prayers. I love you so much and I KNOW there is a dazzling light at the edge of all this gray waiting to explored when just the right time comes. Kisses!
sending you love in all of the jumbled-up-ness. its all i can do while i am wading thru my own jumbled-up-ness…
love you bunches…
g
I think WW inherited your feet. PS – there is an MJ dance party on Friday that I’m going to. I agree about the coverage but I still wish you could dance with me! It would be a Goldfingers flashback!
Cute on the visualizers. For karl, it’s the fish take. Or the back door. VERY cool to look outside apparently.
Hrm on the issues GM seems to have. And they aren’t doing much except robitussin and shrugging their shoulders.
OY VEY on the lack of air! holy moly.
Oh my lordy lord – I do hope you get some AC a blowin’ in there soon.
The visualizer sounds better than the thing I got the baby I used to nanny for hooked on. He wanted me to keep opening and closing the key cabinet. SO I would hold him up and say “Oooopen…clooosed!” over and over again. So yeah. Something where you can sit down and listen to music sounds great. Does W like Baby Einstein stuff? It’s like crack. Even I can get hypnotized.
The non-job stuff. Well. You know I feel you on that. I hope the haze clears soon and your mom lands an even better job. In Indianapolis.
I heary you about the news thing, they’re like Vultures, it’s sad.
My 5 year old also likes the Itunes visualizer. She likes to watch it, dance, and sing to whatever song is on. I’m still sending up prayers for your mom each day!
Yeah the visualizer got me through 6 months of colic. The news is crazy about MJ – absolutely agree that in life he could do no right and now he can do no wrong.
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I agree with you about the insane news coverage of MJ’s death/funeral/potential resurrection. Enough already! Yes, he was a talented performer but let’s face it, he had been largely forgotten for a long time and his behavior had grown increasingly bizarre. Throw in the babbling of Jesse jackson and MJ’s abusive father preening at the BET awards and promoting some bootleg music scheme when he should have been mourning his son and you get an extreme spectacle of bad taste.
Summer is a slow time for news and this dog and pony show has taken center stage. If I have to hear “Let’s Dance Let’s Shout” one more time I will not be responsible for my actions.