Wow. You guys are the absolute best when it comes to gathering advice. Thanks so much for all of the variations of things to try- quite a collection! Um…one maybe dumb clarification question for those of you that suggested trying the car seat for sleeping: do I need to harness him in?
And now all of this other stuff…brought to you in fine bullet point form.
- Little known fact- when you have a child that will be receiving state funded health insurance there are some hurdles that single parents must jump over. The most giant hurdle is a little something called paternity. As in most single mothers in this state are in search for child support. As the mother of a child conceived by donor sperm needing state insurance for her child I am quite the oddity. This morning we spent over 2 hours just waiting to have a 2 minute conversation with a (slightly asshole-ish) guy about just how I can “satisfy the state’s paperwork needs”. I really (REALLY) did not want to even have to bring up the words “donor sperm” in a government office- but the guy would not accept my answer of “father is unknown” and I would not offer up a lie like, “I had a 5 way in a bar one night”…This means that now I have to come up with some sort of document from either the bank or the clinic that states that I used anonymous sperm. Good times are all about full disclosure.
- BG T is still missing. I can’t write more without collapsing into tears. A few neighbors have called thinking that they have seen her and I have been told over and over again to keep the faith. Ah, faith…so slippery these days.
- Mother still on epic job quest. She is working with a couple recruiters from the Northeast now. This is also a subject that freaks my shit out. I really thought that I would have some mellow, unstressful time with WW right now instead of this panic in the back of my mind that we will have to move into a tiny apartment any minute now.
- I have a new post up over here about finding out about some of the more “scary” stuff within genetic analysis.
- EDITED TO ADD: WW & I both had doctor appointments on Monday. One of us has a perfectly free from busted gut (me!!) and the other one has surpassed his birthweight AND gained almost an entire inch in height (WW!). Woo! No more doctor appointments for either of us for nearly a month.
- We took WW to see GM this afternoon. She is doing a bit better, but her swelling is not. Hospice arranged for her to have a fancier wheelchair that is more like a swank recliner with wheels. This way her legs are elevated.
- GM & WW together is beautiful. She is so tender and sweet with him.
- Check out WW’s super fly plaid pants from his internet buddies.
{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }
I got a letter from my sperm bank for that thing. It still was a big pain in the ass but the letter did the trick.
When we put through Punk’s second parent adoption, we needed: a letter from the sperm bank saying that I purchased anonymous donor sperm, a letter from the fertility clinic stating that they inserted that sperm into my hoo-hah, and an affidavit signed by me that I didn’t have sex with any men during that time. GOOD TIMES.
I don’t have the paperwork but I swear I signed something from the sperm bank stating that I wouldn’t seek any state aid/ welfare from a child conceived with donor sperm but this was 5 years ago so who knows. Good Luck!
Awww Cali. I wish I could show up with BGT under one arm and one of those giant Publisher’s Clearinghouse checks under the other
Gram and WW is wonderful. WW is just PRECIOUS. Have I mentioned you have the most adorable baby boy since my youngest was born? Because you totally do, and YAY YOU with the breastfeeding! My kids had issues, which we now know are physical and developmental in nature so I don’t feel *quite* as bad but I’m way proud of you for making it work and growing that gorgeous boy! Depending on how Northeastern you and Mother go maybe we’ll be close enough for me to swoop in and gnaw all over that baby boy, er, I mean show you around. Yes. That’s what I meant 
Ok. The pants. I got teary once again to see them on your babe. I’m so glad you got them on him before he outgrew. Those things are teeny.
Beautiful baby, great pants, lovely relatives.
Re: car seat. My grandson, now 9 months old, is still sleeping in his car seat. Initially he slept in it because of reflux, then transitioned to his crib at about 4 months, then got RSV at about 6 months, and went back to the carseat on the hospital’s recommendation, as it made it easier to deal with the oxygen tube and cope with the cough. Although he is perfectly healthy now, he is determined to sleep in a car seat. When he was very small we (I am day-time caregiver) did not need to strap him in, but at a rather young age it became necessary to fasten the leg parts of the 5-point harness once he began to try to sit up, and by now, he must be strapped in entirely so he won’t leave by himself. I would say, strap him in to avoid tangles of unfastened belts and to prevent slumping. I’m not crazy about the car seat for a baby who is 23 lbs, but he is very fond of the various seats: one good one for the car, one old one for sleeping at home, one old one for sleeping at my house. Settles right in, turns his face to one side, and takes his naps. At my house, the seat is in the crib. I would like to change him to the real crib, but it’s hard to argue with success at nap time.
Get several copies of the letter….it will come up again, but flashing a letter usually does the trick. You might need such a letter to travel with him in/out of some countries. I carry mine with our passports.
It’s good to know about the hurdle with the state insurance, as I’m sure we’ll encounter it as well. Oh goody. It’s a great service when we need it, but the hoops one has to jump through are seemingly endless!
WW is just a lovely little boy, and he’s rockin’ the plaid pants. Those are fab! xoxo
oh man, he is YUMMY!! i’m going to send you some pics of my lil’ guy, which will force you to write me
I’m in HR/Recruiting. Please feel free to email your mom’s resume to me or let your mom know that I’m more than happy to help her out by circulating her info and requirements around. I would totally get it if you weren’t SO comfortable sharing your mom’s info with a total stranger/lurker, but I believe in you guys and I just want everything to work out for you. If that doesn’t seem quite cool, please know that there are over 10,000 recruiters on twitter, and many can be reached by using the hashtag #jobangels or #jobs or by following and tweeting to @jobangels. Good luck to everybody!
Also – WW’s feet! He’s like a Great Dane puppy, tiny but with HUGE promise. Get ready to feed that boy!
Just so you know, sleeping in a car seat slightly ups your risk for SIDS. BUT your regular risk for SIDS is really a whole lot lower than we are led to believe, it is like a thousandth of a percent or something. But you know, it is something to consider. (And full disclosure, Elizabeth naps in her car seat during the day when I can check on her.)
I love those pants! He is so very cute.
I hope you’re able to get everything sorted out with the govt, that BGT shows up and that your mom’s recruiters help her find a great job. Reading about putting an infant to sleep in a car seat makes me nervous, especially at WWs age. As Jen said, it can up the risk for SIDS because at that age babies can’t support their necks and their heads can loll cutting off air supply. (Sorry don’t mean to scare you). Here’s an article http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/LAC.20090205.CHILDSEAT05/TPStory/National . If you do put him down in the car seat, don’t leave him there overnight. And he’s absolutely gorgeous.
That’s one thing I’m so iffy about when it comes to our future offspring. I want to use a known donor so bad, mostly because anonymous donor sperm is SO expensive and we just don’t have those kind of funds. It worries me when I think of how we’d get insurance for said offspring after the year runs up. I suppose it’s not the same in Flor-ee-dah (that’s how it should be said) as in Texas, where you get emergency pregnancy medicaid and you’re covered for the 3 months post partum while the babe is covered for another year.
Good luck with all those shenanigans! WW is so freaking handsome it makes my stomach ache, in such a good way.
love love love the pants! I hope and pray that BG T will come home to you soon! I’m wondering if she’s out and about looking for GM? Just keep putting yummy cat food outside for her and I would keep posting on Craigslist that she’s missing.
All I wanna say is I LOVE PLAID!!! TOO CUTEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
Being in the lovely state of Florida and having dealt with the child support enforcement office twice now, all you need is a copy of the last order of donor sperm, like the one they send in the box, that shows you ordered it, paid for it, and the date it was ordered. I actually used the same receipt for Sam that I did for Charlie and they glanced at it, permanetly put it in the record and it has never been an issue again. Good luck there. Email me if you have any questions, as I have dealt with these agencies for a few years now.
WW is just beautiful. I hope things start to get a little easier soon.
WW is so ska in those photos.
The fact there has been BG sightings is a good thing. Someone will scoop her up and bring her home!
I did a little dance when I read “Northeast”!
what excellent trousers!! fabbb pics. xxxx
As Jude said, for our 2nd parent adoption, we needed to get a letter from the sperm bank saying we’d bought sperm and a letter from our R.E.’s office saying he inserted said donor sperm, as part of our proving that there was no man out there looking to claim paternity. In our case, both the bank and the R.E.’s office got us the documentation very quickly. I imagine we weren’t the first people to request such things, and neither will you be. So, just get it and as others said, keep some extra copies around just in case. PITA, though.
As for the car seat, we didn’t strap J. in when he slept in it, which wasn’t all the time.
His face has changed so much in such a short time! He’s absolutely gorgeous. That hasn’t changed. And I LOVE the plaid.
I live in FL as well, but I must’ve gotten a really cool “advisor” or whatever they call themselves. I told her my partner is female, that someone gave us sperm to make a baby, and she smiled and said she would just close my case to make it easy on everyone. That was the end of that, and we were both on Medicaid for almost a year. Once it all goes through, it is wonderful. We never had any problems. Oh, and food stamps? Consider it. Not sure if you’ve gone that route…but if you qualify and have pride issues like I did? Swallow it…and get food stamps. It’s there for a reason. Never thought I’d need it, but these are hard times. And I gotta tell you…another decision I’m happy to have made.
Your son is just gorgeous and I haven’ t told you how happy I am for you…but I am. I love seeing these pictures.
The carseat. We didnt strap our #2 son in the carseat until he could start sitting up. I layed a burp cloth over the straps and buckles to soften it on his butt and keep them tucked away from his little fingers, then layed him on top of the burp cloth. When he could sit, I had to buckle him in, cause he wiggled his way down the bottom and would fall out.
Been MIA for a while as my son was hospitalized for a week with meningitis. Home now and almost back to his old self. Few follow up tests in weeks to come, such as hearing, but fingers crossed no lasting effects from this horrible scary experience.
We have similar hoops to jump through in Australia re paternity – I recently applied for a passport for my IVF-donor-sperm-conceived now 5yo son and had a hell of a problem trying to explain why I really couldn’t fill out the father’s details. Every time I get a new form from a govt dept I anticipate fun and games…they never let me down
So so sweet the pics of WW and GM. Warms my tired little heart….
Damn it that BG hasn’t slunk through your door yet. And double damn it that your mom is still hunting down a job, and that there is the real possibility that you may have to move.
Still hoping daily for good news on both those fronts soon.
Oh but good news on the doctors follow ups for you and WW. Well done
ya – what others said: sperm bank provided a letter for our 2nd parent adoption…they are quite used to such letters. and, yet it’s totally a PITA that you have to do it in order for WW to get insured!
Your baby is so beautiful! Love the plaid pants.
The plaid pants – totally awesome. WW is a cutie – and love the pics! I think it’s a good thing that there have been BGT sightings – hope this means she will work her way home. And am hoping your Mom gets some good job news soon. The paternity thing is a headache – haven’t had to deal with it for insurance, but have had more than a few headaches with a prior school district who wanted proof that there were no custody issues since the father section of the boys birth certificates are blank. Sigh….at least be glad they got rid of some of their former laws in FL around paternity. When N was born (in Florida) the law required that you place advertisements in the newspaper to attempt to locate the missing biological parent.
Oh Calli – that second shot is just priceless. Print it – Frame it – Black and white perhaps – priceless.
So incredibly sweet. Miss you!
Wow…he is amazing! Love those pics with GM, so sweet!
those ARE superfly…
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