How is time moving this fast?
by Dresden on April 15, 2009
- I can’t seem to settle on a blog name for the Snork. Should he remain “the Snork” or should he be “WW” or does he graduate to an entirely new blog name? Any thoughts?
- On Monday every time I looked at the Snork I would hum, “it’s been one week since you looked at me…”
- For a few days there I totally thought I had the greatest deal of the century- a baby that was mellow and or slept pretty well. He is still mellow, but the kid likes to party down all night long. I’m talking on demand feeding pretty much every hour.
- Things I have surrendered: using the remote control, pretty much all ability to read/type, eating anything with a fork. I just need one more hand…
- I have a new post up about my 23andme experience over here.
- BGT is still missing. We have papered the neighborhood, called local shelters, posted on craig’s list and told all neighbors and dog walkers. We live in a VERY animal friendly neighborhood and I am just hoping like hell someone will find her in their bushes and send her our way.
- My swelling is going down a bit. My flip flops fit again. phew.
- I owe SO many of you e-mails. I am also way behind on news in our community. I really miss reading the blogs and catching up- but my brain is a fried wonton right now. Please do leave me a comment if you’ve got stuff going!
- My Mother is the baby whisperer. Seriously. The Snork is pure putty in her arms. It is the most amazing thing to see the two of them together.
- Speaking of Mother- still no leads on jobs. She has had a few promising starts but nothing ever panned out.
- Every song I hear, every single one makes me cry. I cry at everything. I also have this hyper emotion where if I feel worried I feel ALL CAPS WORRIED. Any emotion is extreme and it is exhausting. It is also exhausting knowing that you are acting like a crazy lady. I wish that before I opened my mouth some auditory disclosure would chime in, “Please me aware that this lady is running on empty in terms of sleep and probably food. If she cries please avert your eyes and carry on…”
- I keep waiting for this extreme depression to find me. I mean I am totally a basket case when it comes to BGT, but so far the dark corners that I have been familiar with have been moderately lit. I am very aware of my emotions- and when I am depressed that awareness is one of the first things to go. I have been on wellbutrin since the end of month 7 (I think that is right) and am so glad that I can stay on it.
Tagged as:
about a boy,
Mother's job search
{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
You are doing great. Cut yourself some slack, you’ve had major abdominal surgery (which doctors and some nurses seem to forget since a baby came out of there), you’re sleep deprived and you are worried about everyone. Take it from me, I still cry at everything, so all the crazy emotions are normal, but you’ll be fine. You are a great mom!
OH CAL!!!! Oh God he is so beautiful. Thankyou for such beautiful pics so quickly. I think it sounds like you are doing brilliantly, some smooth bits, some rough bits, these will swap over at some stage probably and back again but in the meantime you will just be doing beautiful your mothering thing with all the grace and joy and passion we recognise in you.Excuse the late happy dance but yay you! And yay to the minical!
I think he should graduate to WW – I love it!
Crossing my fingers for your mom’s job search AND the search for BG…
Try showering with him in his carseat in the bathroom with you. It was the ONLY way I got to shower at the beginning. Sometimes Elizabeth would shout a bit, but the sound of the shower running would eventually put her to sleep.
For a blog name, I vote you use whatever you are feeling at that moment. We’ll know who you mean.
You sound like you are doing pretty well despite the physical pain and the missing BG
– still can’t get over that she is missing.
Hm, blog name. I’m going to think about this and get back to you!
Make a shower a priority. Seriously..it will do wonders for you. Take WW in his carseat, all safe and buckled in, and set him in the bathroom. Leave the bathroom door open a little so the room doesn’t get too steamy and take a shower! Even if it is only 5 minutes, you will feel far more human.
Also, I am so glad that you are on welbutrin, but please don’t negate or discount postpartum hormones. Not necessarily postpartum depression, but the very, very normal craziness that we experience from the wild hormone fluctuations after giving birth. It’s ok to feel a bit extreme in your reactions….something extreme has just occurred….you just created a whole person, who has now totally changed every second of your universe. Every breath you take, every thought in your brain is now uniquely different than it was before, and that, my dear….is extreme. On top of that, your worries about your precious cat are hard and tough. Allow yourself to be emotional.
Now, go take a shower.
Oh, and I vote for graduating to WW in the blog……but it doesn’t really matter because we all know who you mean!
I still love the name Snork.
Still hoping for THAT DARN CAT to come home. I was devastated when we found evidence of the coyote attack we brought baby V home but at least we knew. Not knowing is worse. So so sorry,,,,from one cat lover to another!
Hope you get some sleep soon. Hugs to you.
Couple of suggestions for you on the whole shower and sleep thing.
1. If the carseat thing in the bathroom doesn’t work, try a vibrating bouncy seat – you’ll have to use a rolled up towel or one of those car seat head positioner thingies for him, but thats the only way I got to shower. And i totally had to keep popping my head out and talking to him.
2. On the sleep thing – he’s going to be feeding hourly for another week or two. This is important for your supply to build up. Then he’ll back off a bit, and only do the constant cluster feeding when he’s gearing up to grow. What I found BEST was to learn how to nurse in a side lying position. It literally took a midwife coming over and helping me get into position to do it, but once we got it figured out, it was a sleep saver. DS slept right beside me and we kind of spooned with him facing me, and i slept topless. When he was hungry, he rooted, i stuck a boob in his mouth, generally before either of us woke all the way up, and he nursed. I got a prolactin surge and half the time i fell asleep before he finished. only suggestion for you for that is put a waterproof pad under your sheets, and possibly even under the two of you. and keep a towel handy in case your top boob lets down while he’s on the bottom. Depending on how big your boobs are, you might be able to switch boobs without rolling over, but I generally had to roll over to get him on the alternate boob.
The car seat trick worked well for Wil so I could shower… and maybe your mom could putty-fy WW while you took a shower?? Gawd I wish I could be there. I would cook for you and snuggle WW so you could nap… I miss you the most right now. And also am jealous of your ability to breastfeed and of your warm weather, it’s snowing here. I love you!!!!!! As far as what to call him en-blogosphere – geez I don’t know. I kinda like WW…. he’s outgrown Snorkdom in my opinion, but we all know who you are referring to and all love him no matter what we call him!!
Oh honey, I can’t offer any BF advice, but it sounds like you’re doing great, considering that a newborn has just exploded into your world! The sleep deprivation thing gets a little crazy after awhile, so in addition to showering with the carseat in the bathroom (a real lifesaver), do try to sleep when you can. I never really got to do that, because I’d always think “omg, he’s asleep, must run and do all the chores that haven’t been done!” In hindsight, the nap would have made me so much more productive on all fronts (not to mention a whole lot saner). When you’re comfortable giving it a try, slings are awesome for getting one more hand, even if the babe only stays in it for 5 or 10 minutes.
If you are having a conversation and start to cry, blame it on allergies. Or you could just wear a shirt that says “I cry”. I think I had a note pinned to myself. You’ll get the hang on it, soon!
*HUGS*
I like WW – but doesn’t matter what you call him, we will all know who you mean. I started out my blog using silly nicknames for the boys, but changed over to the initial…as they grew they seemed to grow out of those nicknames (plus they only made sense to me.)
Sorry your Mom hasn’t had any luck on the job search. There are jobs here – OK has been fortunate to not have been hit so hard by the recession – but the down side is, well, it’s Oklahoma. What can I say.
Really really hoping BG Talula shows up soon!
Oh, and totally second the car seat in the bathroom advice. With N, I rolled the whole bassinet in. By the time E and C came along, I had wised up and used the car seat.
Several comments . . .
1 – I say you should call him whatever feels right to you, but personally, mine was one of “the Peeps” as a follicle and embryo, has been “Peeper” since 6 weeks, when we found out there was just one of her in there, and Peeper she shall remain. She can make up a new name when she starts her own blog.
2 – Nursing hourly sounds about right at this age!
3 – If you can nurse one-handed (the Boppy is your friend!) you will learn to type one-handed pretty quickly, and eventually, he’ll be able to hang on by himself and let you use two hands – both at the same time! – every now and then.
4 – And nursing side-lying is great for night time.
5 – Peeper is six months old, and I still have ALL CAPS EMOTIONS!
6 – Since your mom is home, definitely put her on baby-duty for shower time. Get his tummy all tanked up before you get in, so you’ve got as much time as possible , then revel in the hot, hot, hot water and the aloneness.
7 – Also great (when you’re both allowed to be submerged) is a long, hot tub bath alone – then, when you’re done, and the water has cooled off to a baby-safe temperture, have mom bring Snork in to join you. He gets to float like he did on the inside, and have naked-snuggy-time with Mommy, all at once!
8 – Keeping my fingers crossed for your kitty to find her way home!
I still love Snork. It’s been his name for 9 months, why not the rest of his life? Heehee.
You’re doing stellar, by the way. I’m so happy that you keep updating as often as you do. I’m always so saddened when bloggers have their babies and then drop off the face of the blogosphere. You rock in all ways.
Keep your chin up about BGT. That girl will find her way home. She’s probably under a bush, like you said, and too freaked to move. Whenever Nefi would get out she’d plop herself under a bush about 35 yards from our apartment and not move until a friendly face rescued her.
(Is it so bad I typed ‘boosh’ each time instead of ‘bush’?? I don’t think so.)
he will always be snork to me… but i agree with whomever said use whatever name you want, we will know…
(((((hugs to all of you)))))
love you,
gypsy
Here’s what I wish I’d known after I had my baby: It’s all right to put him down and take care of yourself. I was afraid to take my eyes off him for one second unless he was asleep and even then I kept going in to check on him to see if he was still breathing.
You’ve got the perfect opportunity, since he’s too little to get into the good stuff like electrical outlets and the poisons under the sink, to put him in his crib and go take a shower. Shave your legs, deep condition your hair, give yourself a facial. You’ll feel like a new woman and he’ll be fine. Sure, he might cry but I promise he won’t remember and rebuke you for it later.
I’m not suggesting you stick him in his crib while you go out clubbing but thirty minutes here and there will do him no harm, in fact, it will give him a chance to reflect on things and start to develop a rich inner life.
I also found that the constant breastfeeding thing didn’t do much good. I kept getting shooting pains in my neck and shoulder from holding him clasped to my chest all the time and I wasn’t giving my milk supply a chance to re-up. You’re better off closing down shop every once and awhile and drinking some orange juice or something.
So, so fast. And it’s not showing any signs of slowing down. Hoping Snork gets his days and nights figured out! That ould be beyond exhausting. Even if he is cute. ;o) (I think he will be Snork to me forever, but you can call him whatever you please.) I love that Grandma touch – it’s an instant stress reliever for all of us at our house at least.
Thinking of you! You just love on that little man – don’t stress about anything else!
p.s. nothing is new with us. I have a 6 week old and am in shock over this fact. But we’re all healthy and happy.
I am not a mom so I have no good advice to give you— just this— you are doing awesome. Those of us watching from the outside are all cheering for you!!!!!!!!!!
Remember sweetness that your hormones are the craziest they will likely ever be right now and you are still a week or two from them calming. The first few weeks after giving birth are the most insane roller coaster ride I have ever experienced.
The cliche sleep when the baby sleeps is pure genius.
I am sending vibes your way for your kitty to return ASAP.
Much love to you too, and sadly time will keep going by faster and faster now that WW is here, it sucks but it’s true.
SMooch
Hoping BGT finds her way home soon.
No advice from me. I expect you’ll be giving me advice in December. But the rest of the peeps have you covered. Good advice from all of them.
Oh, yeah, give him a big smooch from me!
Those “few days” you mentioned? I call that the baby honeymoon where you THINK you have this perfectly trained baby already. And then they show you who’s really boss. It’s funny.
Everything is going right for you right now. Everything is normal. You are doing awesome!
oh yeah – that’s just about right…post baby weeks are ALL CAPS WILD!
you are doing GREAT… all sounds VERY normal. the first 3 weeks i felt seriously demented. nothing made sense. and i stunk. i’m praying for the return of BGT. i vote that he is still the snork. more pics please!
You are doing wonderful, and I remember crying at everything too. It does get better, and try to sleep a little while your mom has him. It makes you a better mom taking care of yourself first, really!! Hope BGT comes home soon!
If you’ve nursed for 20-30 min each side, that’s ENOUGH. Pacifier in, go take a shower. He’s nursing for comfort not for the goods
As for the shower – bouncy seat, plonk him on the floor of the bathroom and he won’t even notice.
YOU MUST TAKE CARE OF YOU. Without you there is no milk, there is no food, there is no comfort. Drink LOTS of gatorade. Be kind to yourself. Put the baby down.
Now, WW – please be nice to your Mommy. I know you want to suck like crazy boy but seriously Mommy needs a shower.
Oh, I’m so sad that BG Talula is missing. Naughty puss! They really know how to push your buttons, don’t they? Hoping hoping hoping that she deigns to return to you, very soon.
WW is gorgeous, have I said that already? You sound like you’re doing really really well. No news here. Much love.
aaaand #9: Because I’m a big dork, and a stater of the obvious, I just gave you an award on my website:
http://www.amalah.com/
Oh – fer the love of God – I am NOT trying to impersonate Amalah, I’m just an idiot!
Copy/Paste is your friend, but only when you pay attention to what’s on your clipboard.
So, what I MEANT to say is:
aaaand #9: Because I’m a big dork, and a stater of the obvious, I just gave you an award on my website:
http://whozatshrike.blogspot.com/2009/04/i-got-prize.html
(And, please accept my apologies, Amalah!)
(If you can delete or edit my previous comment, please do so!)
Although everything is piling up and you feel overwhelmed by how much catching up there is to do, try to relax into the chaos. It will get better in time (in say about three months). In the moment it feels like that would be forever, but honestly, it’s like a blink of the eye. When my lil one was born, at the time I was soooo stressed about all the things I was behind on, but everyone waited patiently for me and I eventually got caught up. That was seven months ago and things are just great now. Better than great. Life is the loveliest it’s ever been. You’ll get there and we’ll all be patiently waiting, supporting you from the sidelines!
Cali you sound right on track emotional-wise I reckon. You’ve gotten some GREAT advise already, I read it all and agree with it all, you sure have some down-to-earth wise souls for buddies! Be gentle with yourself. Fingers crossed here for your mom finding a job soon, and for your beloved BG to come home safe.
HUGS
Lady, I hope things get better. If all else fails, we have two extra bedrooms for you to come live in. Or if all else doesn’t fail. Really, just come move into my house so I can hang with you and your mom and the snork (he will always be the snork to me) all the time. Al will cook for us and clean.
postpartum hormones are INSANE. Seriously. Your body is crashing six ways to sunday and it is normal normal normal. I read someplace that a woman’s body, during pregnancy, makes approx the amount of hormones that a non-pregnant body makes in 100 years. 100 YEARS. Sobbing for no reason, any reason, random giggling – all normal.
WW is beautiful. I hope BGT comes back soon!