2008: The Year in Review

Assembled here, in all its glory, is the first sentence from the first true post of the month for the last 12 months.

JANUARY: “I can’t remember when I first realized that my family was not like other families.” (A post about feeling like my beta just isn’t good enough…)

FEBRUARY: “This morning’s appointment went really well -this is only the 2nd time that I have met with this doctor and today really affirmed that she is a keeper.” (A post about starting anti-depressants)

MARCH: “I want to acknowledge all of you that participated in the February 29th posting.” (A post about mourning and trying to get through.)

APRIL: “Totally pretend that I am still gathering my zen, but I need to address something pretty effing awesome that is going on.” (Post about UTERUS!!)

MAY: “What happens when one is too ill to do much of anything? Well if you are me and my gastrointestinal track you start tinkering with your blog.” (Post about wanting to design blog headers.)

JUNE: “I have one thing to say and then I want to have a conversation with you guys. Here is the statement: I am currently celebrating the (quiet) start of my period” (Post about the cycle before THE cycle.)

JULY: “Mama Duck still diligently sits on her nest several times a day and through the nights. And yet none of the remaining eggs have hatched.” (Post about the baby duck that was born in my front yard.)

AUGUST: “Was not able to get an ultrasound appointment for today OR for Monday.” (A post filled with anxiety about scheduling the first scan of Snork.)

SEPTEMBER: “This morning I was enjoying the calm and quiet. GM had decided she wanted to sleep in and Mother was quietly watching the storm coverage in the den.” (A post about self injecting PIO and accidentally gushing blood all over your kitchen.)

OCTOBER: “Not sure if this is a local thing, but lately there seems to be a ton of commercials for this company that cuts fruit up into weird shapes, shoves a spear through them, and then puts them all in a bucket to resemble some sort of arty bouquet.” (A mini rant about gross fruit baskets.)

NOVEMBER: “Friday morning was electric. There was this sort of energy in the air that had all of us buzzing about.” (Post about early voting and getting to see so much of Snork at a scan.)

DECEMBER: “Deciding to take an impromptu mini break from the computer was wonderful, but coming back to an e-mail inbox full of black friday and cyber monday sales was overwhelming. And sort of amusing. How on earth did I manage to get on the mailing list of Tiffany’s and Neiman Marcus?” (A post about loving December and being worried about GM.)

It is pretty interesting to go back and scan over a year of blog posts. And specifically to just read the first post of the month is not as telling as one might imagine. If you were to look at my year based solely on these first of the month posts I don’t feel like you would understand anything about what a totally upside down and backwards year this was.

I mean it began with a pregnancy that was fading away, there was the darkest depression I have ever waded through, the rescues from my friends (UTERUS! IVP QUILT!), the all-out scares about GM’s health (cancer! liver failure! declining Alzheimer’s!), the creative excitement of creating blog headers, the reaching FET financial goals, the traveling to the Northeast and being cared for by kick ass, long time friends, the beta hell, the scanning hell, the PENIS!, the love…

Usually I am one of those all or nothing people when it comes to looking back on a year. And I can safely say that the years 2003-2007 were pretty fucked up. There are actually entire chunks and moments of those years that I would gladly pay someone to erase from my memories. But 2008? Wow. As much as the lows were horrible I had some pretty amazing highs. And it is making me look forward to 2009 with great hunger and excitement.

But really I want to make sure I let you guys know that I wouldn’t have made it through 2008 without you.