A guest blog entry, bought to you by the Great Blog Cross-Pollination

This is a guest post, brought to you by the Great Blog Cross-Pollination.

Warning: this post is all about babies if you’re not in the mood.

I’ve come to a few conclusions in the last several weeks: 1) a boy is going to be much cheaper to raise through infancy than a girl would be, based on the amount of cute boy stuff I’m NOT finding or buying and 2) I still find myself sub-consciously drawn to the tiny pink things before I snap out of it and lunge for the blue things.

Even though I’ve known that I’m going to have a son for over a month, it’s only recently sunk in that I’m having a son.

I was kind of a tomboy growing up, well a tomboy-ish. I had a serious hot wheels collection and loved to play in the dirt and ride around on the tractor with my grandpa. But I also had dolls and girly things. In fact I had more Cabb.age Pat.ch dolls than I care to remember. They were always girls. I wish I could remember their names… there was Constance Marie and Rosaline Cornelia, Holly Jo, and Daniella something, plus 3 or 4 more that escape me now. I drug those dolls EVERYWHERE.

My sister was born when I was 5, so she was also my “doll” to play with. I was the “mom”, she was my “daughter”. My mom, my sister, and I were three peas in a pod.

We had “egg babies” in 7th grade. We were given an egg on a Monday and had to keep them through the following Monday without cracking them. We had to take them everywhere – to volleyball practice, to class, to church, out to eat. We made them nifty little carriers out of strawberry crates and popsicle sticks. (I guess this was supposed to teach us to not have babies? I guess it worked.) We had to pick a gender and a name for our eggs. Of course my egg was a girl, and her name was Taylor Layne.

We talked about baby names in high school, my friends and I. I never had boy names, because boys were dumb. Who would want to have a boy? I always had girls. I had great girl names too… Aubree Briana and Alexis Alayna. (Which are nowhere on our baby name radar now).

After my parents divorced in high school, my sister and I clung to my mom. At the time, we lived a block away from my mom’s sister, our aunt. My mom, aunt, sister, and I were now four peas in a pod, and spent a lot of time together as I finished up high school and headed to college. After my mom remarried, my aunt moved to the same town as my mom, and the same town my sister now lives in. The three of them are 5 hours from me. But when we’re all together, we get a lot of comments about those “crazy S**** (my mom and aunt’s maiden name) women”. We’re loud and we laugh. A lot.

I just assumed when I had kids, I’d have another girl or two to add to the “crazy S**** women” pool.

When the u/s tech told us at our “big” u/s that “it IS a boy”, j was over the moon, and I was excited but in a mild state of shock. Don’t get me wrong, the most important thing is that our baby is healthy, ultimately the gender does not matter to me one iota. However, I’d planned on having a girl for SO LONG that it took me a while to backtrack off the princess path, and head down a lane of blue.

I worried a lot for those first few days after we found out. I worried that I was shortchanging this boy by thinking he was a girl for so long. That I had already bonded with who I thought was a girl, and there was some definite “ungluing” that had to take place. I worried I wouldn’t know how to bond with a boy. I’d never really been around baby boys, let alone my own. I worried that he’d feel like he wasn’t the one I wanted.

Then something changed. I had another pregnancy dream about two weeks ago. I had given birth to our son and he was beautiful. And I bonded with my son through my dream. Up to that point, I’d been taking every day of pregnancy in stride, making a list and checking it twice. Making sure we were getting done what we needed to. But the morning after my dream, I woke up feeling like I couldn’t wait one. more. minute to meet this precious boy. I wanted to meet him right then and there! Thankfully reality took over and I knew that waiting a few more months for him to “cuten up” would be well worth it.

Life is funny how it makes you do a double-take. I spent so long just wanting a baby of my own, never mind the flavor, that when I finally got the baby I thought I knew exactly how things would fall into place. We’d have a daughter and the three of us would ride off into the sunset together. I’m now so completely and totally in love with this boy that I wouldn’t, couldn’t, imagine it any other way. And we’ll still ride off into the sunset together, me, j, and our son.

Thanks to Cali for having me, I feel famous now. ) Guess who I am in the comments section, and then click here to find out who I am.

Tagged as: you mean it's not about ME?