quiet, oh so quiet
Thank you for all of the kind and sympathetic comments. That I can open up my heart here and be totally raw with you is a tremendous help. Having the pillow of your love keep me afloat is a saving grace.
I am feeling kind of quiet and numb today. Mother made the calls to family and that was hard. And really what do you say, “we have some bad news but we don’t know how bad”? Really the calls were like a prologue to whatever story next Tuesday morning will reveal.
I called GM’s cousin this morning and was thankful for her always pragmatic tone. She talked about GM’s father and his horrible battle with cancer that ultimately ended his life way too soon. We talked about how GM was doing with her Alzheimer’s and I got choked up. Things have been so hard, but we have been coping. There didn’t need to be something else. But such is life- if infertility has taught me anything it is that there is no making sense of things.
I might be a bit removed from the blog scene for a few days. Just feeling the need to go quiet so that my prayers can be loud.
**Call waiting on my prayer. Another prayer answered: results of nuchal scan and blood test are in and good. Snork has a 1 in 2500 chance of being born with Down’s and a 1 in 10,000 chance of being born with the other trisomy issues. Will have the open neural tube defect blood test in two weeks and we will go trick or treating in my uterus for an anatomy scan on Halloween. So effing relieved for this moment of good news.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:37 pm
Sending much love. I am here should you need to talk or vent or anything.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:40 pm
♥
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:41 pm
You are entitled to all the blog silence you need. And we will be here when you return.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Joining in the loud prayers.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:49 pm
Thinking of you.
October 3rd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
*hug*
October 3rd, 2008 at 4:02 pm
Prayers and love are coming at you from all over the blog world. We all love you and want the best for you and GM.
October 3rd, 2008 at 4:07 pm
Fantastic Snork news (and can’t wait to find out whether there’s a Hot Tamale or a ChocoTaco in your goody bag this year.)
As for the rest of it, just sending you love.
October 3rd, 2008 at 4:23 pm
More hugs and love…
October 3rd, 2008 at 4:31 pm
My thoughts, prayers and love are with you.
October 3rd, 2008 at 4:37 pm
I’m sending you my love. I’m glad Snork’s test results were so good.
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:25 pm
Sending you lots of prayers.
Glad Snork is doing well!
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Will continue to think and pray for you and yours…wonderful snork news!!! I got my NT results yesterday and they said they were good but they didn’t get me any numbers. Guess I need to call about that…
HUGS!!!
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:45 pm
sending you heaps and heaps of love and hugs…
you do what you need to do, and our prayers will be loud, too!
i am smiling at the Snork results.
love you,
gypsy
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:46 pm
Glad for Snork, sad for your other news. Thinking of you.
October 3rd, 2008 at 5:50 pm
Sending much love to you and praying along with you.
October 3rd, 2008 at 6:39 pm
There is nothing useful I can really say except I’ll be thinking of you and your family, and hoping for more joy than pain in the coming months, and sending strength your way.
October 3rd, 2008 at 6:47 pm
So glad to hear Snork is doing well in there.
Sorry about having to spread the GM news… Sometimes, it sucks to be the one in charge. Your shoulders must be exhausted from carrying so much around on them all the time. Feel free to lean on me when needed.
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:08 pm
Poor GM. I know how hard it will be for all of you to stay strong. We’ll be praying for you here.
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:10 pm
We will all understand your need for silence.
And that is good news for the snork!
October 3rd, 2008 at 7:51 pm
excellent, excellent news on your nuchal… i had the neural tube test too and then called it a day. by that time i was in love and i didn’t care what anyone had to say about my baby anymore, ya know? i’m going to be gone for the next week on holiday but i will be thinking of you and GM. hang in there. you will figure this all out and will do the very best for her.
October 3rd, 2008 at 8:06 pm
Lots of love xxxx
October 3rd, 2008 at 9:26 pm
I am glad the news with the Snork is good.
Sending my thoughts your way in dealing with GM in the next days to come.
October 3rd, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Cali-
I am sending you much love and prayer for your GM, and you and your mom, as you deal with this newest painful challenge. Happily, I am also sending much gratitude and peaceful thanks for the wonderful news about the Snork.
October 4th, 2008 at 12:42 am
Thinking of your GM, Cali,
J
October 4th, 2008 at 1:31 am
Glad Snork is doing well. So sorry about everything that is happening with GM.
October 4th, 2008 at 1:39 am
just love. and then some more.
October 4th, 2008 at 2:04 am
What a day of extreme emotions! SO glad for the good snork news. SO sorry about GM. You need to go rest!!!
October 4th, 2008 at 7:22 am
Great Snork news!! Keeping you, your Mom & especially GM in my prayers.
October 4th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Sending warm thoughts for the continued good health of Snork, and for peace and comfort for GM…
October 4th, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Just caught up and I am floored. Prayers of thanksgiving and help are being said for you, gm, yoour mom and little snork. Love you.
October 5th, 2008 at 12:06 am
I just caught up too. Believe me, lots of prayers here in Cairo for you and everyone around you. xoxoxoxoxo
October 5th, 2008 at 9:14 am
So sorry to hear about your grandmother, and I can only imagine the difficulty of decision-making in this instance. Hang in there.
October 5th, 2008 at 2:08 pm
You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
October 5th, 2008 at 7:02 pm
Sending warm, healing thoughts your way in this difficult time.
xo
October 6th, 2008 at 12:52 am
you, GM, and your family are in my thoughts.
excellent news about the snork.
October 6th, 2008 at 10:07 am
Sending much love and hugs.
xxx