WARNING: You know what stuff is all up in this post. Click away if it is not a good day for you.
This morning I woke up at 4:45am to have yet another night time pee party and could not get back to sleep. I tossed and turned and tried to think calming thoughts but nothing was getting my brain to quiet down and allow me to gently fall back to sleep. I turned on the television and zoned out to early morning crappy political news. Good times.
I knew why I was anxious and it was stupid, but we can’t always control our emotions. (even when we are trying like a mofo to do so) Hello 12 weeks, nice to meet you. This morning was my 2nd OB appointment and I was jittery. I was starting to doubt the home doppler and was worried that it would be bad.
GM and I arrived early and were seen promptly. There are four OB’s in this practice and it was my first time meeting this one. She was kind and informative and cheerful. She answered my questions and relayed that my blood work from my last visit was normal and that my blood pressure was “great” and my weight loss normal. Fine, fine…but let’s break out that doppler you have strapped to your hip and get down to business.
I stretched out on the exam table and she took a listen. “There it is!” I exclaimed with total relief. To which she informed me that, um, no. That was actually my heart beat, not the Snork’s. Fuck. I think I might have started crying just a bit. Actually I am sure I did. Even with the Dr. shushing me (in a totally nice way) and telling me that it is too early to really pick up on a doppler I was not calmed down.
So she offered me a quickie ultrasound. I informed her that I had my nuchal scan tomorrow and that I guess I could wait (seriously, my people pleasing stuff is rather annoying). She sat me up, looked me in the eyes and asked if I would be able to sleep tonight. Not so much. No way would I be able to make it another day. And maybe that makes me a giant wimp, but there was no way I was able to bluff the anxiety on my face.
We finished up in the exam room and then the Doctor walked us over to the ultrasound suite. The technician that was there was the same one that did the 8+ week scan and she worked fast to get things ready for us. I was barely able to talk because the fear had made my tongue swell and my lips fuse together.
And then we saw: The Snork. Heart beating 170 and squirming all over the place. Arms with hands, legs with feet, an adorable nose. And then something else. Something very unmistakable. The surprise. Something that made both the tech and myself gasp and then giggle. The Snork flashed us and then played peek-a-boo with what appears to be a penis. The tech said 10 times that it was super early and she wouldn’t be allowed to say for sure, but if she was a betting gal our Snork is a boy.
My brain is not yet done digesting such maybe knowledge. But even thinking about it makes things so so much more real.
We left the ultrasound tech’s office with photos (check out Snork’s page for that) and a great tutorial on where to listen for the heartbeat at home. I was totally not going low enough.
As soon as I got GM loaded into the car we called Mother at work with the maybe news. I could hear the surprise at the idea that it could be a boy. Not shocking since in our fantasizing about this experience we both have always just seen our family as expanding from three girls to four girls. I think I am just so flipping happy that things are going well and that hearts are beating and limbs are moving that I haven’t yet grasped the concept of “son”. I feel like it is still pretty early for that. Not being pessimistic, just pragmatic. If anything finding out this early will give me loads of time to get comfy with the notion.
But seriously, I don’t give a hoot right now, I am just celebrating ALIVE and HEALTHY!
{ 78 comments… read them below or add one }
What a fantastic doctor to ease your mind like that. And boys are so, so much fun. Great news for you!
I knew it! I KNEW it was a boy. Man, I’m GOOD.
I’m so very pleased for you! You know I love little boys (even though I was totally SURE I was having a girl with my first).
Yay for another Snork-shot!
I was literally just composing my comment in my head how I have the inkling that Snork is a she, and then you mentioned the penis-flashing, thus deflating my princess balloons. I’m just so happy that all is well in there, anything short of a monkey will be swell!
Congrats! Looks like you got your boy and I got your girl. Either way, enjoy your pregnancy.
Alive and healthy – hooray! And what a funny surprise. I’m really glad they let you do the scan today.
Celebrating with you!
Hooray! Boys are one of my two favorite kinds of babies.
You know, when you described the heartbeat before I didn’t think it sounded quite right, but there was no point in worrying. At twelve weeks, I found the heartbeat WAY down. Like as low as you can get the probe without hitting bone and then pointing down. And it is X-rated dopplering.
It takes a lot of patience and practice to get it.
I am so glad that you got the extra ultrasound today. If nothing else, I would have worried all night too.
ALIVE AND HEALTHY! HURRAH!
I agree with Jen on probe placement. If you’re not right at the hairline, you’re probably too high.
As for the possible penis, don’t go shopping just yet. We swore up down & sideways that Watson had one at 12-14 wks, but now? Definitely a taco, no frank & beans. The little nub that turns into either the penis or the clitoris can be pretty big, proportionately, at this stage of development.
Either way, I’m sure s/he will be a lovely baby, and the best part is the great HB & moving all over. Hurrah!!! They start looking so dang cute at this stage!
Awesome news. Congratulations. And thank goodness you had such an awesome doctor!
YAY for doc who knows how to read you well!!!!!
KNOCK THAT PEOPLE PLEASING SHIT OFF NOW!!!!!
As for gender I agree it is way early, but whatever snork ends up will make your heart sing!!
yahooooooooooo! and i agree… KNOCK IT OFF WITH THAT PEOPLE PLEASING SHIT! oh a boy, that would be wonderful. i’m so happy for you. tomorrow is going to be even more amazing.
YAY!!! We, too, thought we saw something at 12 weeks, and it turned out to be exactly what we thought. But it doesn’t always work out that way. We’re still processing the future implications of having a son, but right now what it means is we have this wonderfully cuddly little boy that we adore. It’s pretty fabulous. You, too, will adore whatever child you have, and will be a kick-ass mom to whoever it turns out to be. I’m so excited for you!
Yay. Congratulations on getting a ultrasound to put your mind at ease. I’m so freaking excited for you!
Hooray! This was a beautiful thing for me to read today. I imagine finding out that the Snork may very well be a boy–your son–would make it all the more real. Congratulations on healthy and alive and for the maybe news!
Isnt it amazing how much Snork looks like a HUMAN now? And wow–my tech wouldnt even venture to that region to give us a peek…how exciting that Snork very well could be a BOY=) So happy it went well!!! Umm, and no more people pleasing–I would have been half way to the u/s room by the time she had “would you like one today…” :0)
tears in my eyes reading this. so so happy that all is still going well. love the new pics. and a maybe boy! hurrah!
Oh Cali…I am so excited for you!!! That is absolutely wonderful news and I’m so glad that opted to go ahead with the u/s today. I haven’t seen the pics yet….I can’t wait!
Dana
Hooray for nice docs to do a quick u/s!
I love Jen’s comment that boys are one of my two favorite kinds of babies. Awesome! And I agree.
Yay!!!!!
And little boys…..well, they are just the best. and I wanted a girl.
YAY FOR LI’L SNORK! I’m happy for you! Hey, that would-be-pee-pee might just turn into a little girls … happy parts =P But who cares, really? As long as s/he’s happy and healthy.
i just got chills… im feeling down today and needed the happy post… thanks.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yay for the doctor realizing that the not hearing the heartbeat on the doppler would affect your sleep etc and doing the ultrasound. She sounds fantastic. And wow. A maybe Boy? With all you girls. How exciting.
Hooray for beating hearts and moving limbs!!!!
what a awesome doctor!!!!!!!!! send lurves your all way and now off to see the snorks picture ^_______^
huggles you
So glad everything is going well! And cheers to your possible news!
Yay!!! Soooo exciting!!
Good doctors are amazing. I’m so happy for you!
That is so awesome. I can’t believe you saw a little penis bud already. Amazing.
I too had always imagined that I would have a little girl. I won’t lie, when I found out that my bean was a boy I was a little bit sad. Of course, the minute he was born none of that really mattered because “oh my god i finally have a baby!!!!”
I am so glad that the snork is good and that you are good!!!
The Snork is alive and kicking.
And for the record, I know it’s not definite, but boys are way fun. (I bet girls are, too, of course, but boys are way fun.)
I’m so happy about your exciting news of heartbeat, movement, and a penis!! It’s so amazing!! Enjoy getting used to the idea, mama!
To find the heartbeat at that gestational age you need to head for the pubies. And then a little lower. Seriously, it is crazy how low the uterus sits.
Yay!! Happy! Healthy! ..and a fantastic sneak peak!!
Oh god when your heading showed up on my blog thingy thing (I am so cyber expert) I nearly shit myself. My stomach just leaped and my skin started to crawl. Even clicking on here I thought you were giving us Bad News… so I am so so happy for you! Hoooray, yippee! That is lovely lovely news and I am completely and utterly delighted. But probably not as much as you!
so happy for you! wow, i thought for sure you’d add a girl too. i thought we were adding a boy so i’m really bad at the guessing game but how cool that you may already know at 12 weeks gestation!
WOW! You found a really great doctor. That is pretty amazing in this age of managed care!
Guess you better be starting a second column of names, huh? You got yourself a little man in there!! Let me tell you — boys are FUN. Hell, girls are probably fun too — what do I know? And that OB gets major points for the impromptu calming the mother ultrasound! Go Snork!
SNORK!
yay.
OMG I just gasped and laughed with relief and maybe I’m crying just a little bit now. Such great news! Wow. A little pee pee.
Hooray for your doctor being so great!
Snork is looking so cute in the latest photo. Amazing how quickly they go from a speck to actual baby looking. My family is all girls and we thought my sister was going to have a girl. I so wanted her to have a girl. I had the cutest little dresses all waiting…. for my nephew! He’s now 11 and he was just what our little family needed. Boys are fun!
What a wonderful doctor.
Serious tears here! SOOOOO happy for you! I also echo the girls who said you have a fantastic doctor. She’s a keeper for sure.
OMG I was getting so worried as I read your entry that I was holding my breath…..
what a wonderful wonderful relief to read that all is well with your precious little baby….a boy no less! WOW!
I’m so glad everything is progressing as it should…and thankful you have such a caring doctor.
I found out around the same time of my miracle IVF pregnancy that I was expecting a boy – something very wierd for me as I come from an all female household and there is no man in my life. I knew NOTHING about boys…. but boy oh boy what a wonderful thing a son is. Mine is now 4, and I learn every day!
Try and relax a little and enjoy your pg…hard I know….
LIMBS? SQUIRMING? HEARTBEATING? A PENIS? it is just too much for a person to absorb in one day. i could just cry.
1- I second and third and agillionth the fantastic dr comment. 2- Yay. 3- I am so happy for you– you are one of these people that really “deserve” it. 4- Yay. 5. just for good measure, another, yay!
What wonderful, fantastic, beautiful, joyous news!!! It has made my day!
Wo oooo hoooo!
Cali, so bloody over the moon for you that you’re getting this wonderful experience after so long.
J
He/She? is beautiful!! and such a cute nose. Sounds like you hit the jackpot with this Dr. It’s about time you get some extra special care. Wishing you many peaceful nights….with a boy you will need it.
He/She? is beautiful!! and such a cute nose. Sounds like you hit the jackpot with this Dr. It’s about time you get some extra special care. Wishing you many peaceful nights….with a boy you will need it.
Woohoo! You know, I totally never pictured myself having a boy. When I dreamed about being a Mom, as a little girl onward, I pictured myself having girls. Tea parties, Barbies, ribbons and bows. I was shocked, utterly shocked, to be having a boy. Not unhappy – just completely thrown for a loop. Can’t imagine it any other way now. Girl or boy, that is going to be one well-loved Snork.
Yay! Congratulations on possible boy snork! I’m not sure if this comment will post or not..I haven’t been ignoring you, everytime I reply to you I get a message that says, “oops you already said that!”
*sniffle* Best news I’ve heard today! WAY TO GO ALIVE AND KICKING SONNY SNORK
BRILLIANT! Many many grins here (and surprise at the gender too but there you go!) WAY TO GO, GIRL!! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
delurking to say that that just made me cry. in the best possible way. i’ve been reading you blog for a while and i am so happy for you! so strange, though, when i don’t even know you…
I love it! (Without the scary xcrying bit in the middle) Extra Snork pics AND bit-flashes! Boy, huh? Well now!
That is awesome! I remember that pre-ultrasound fear all too well. To tell you the truth, I still felt it a little right up to the day of my c-section when they checked for his heartbeat. And speaking of the word “his…” congrats on (maybe) having a boy! I always pictured myself with a little girl in frilly dresses and hairbows, but now I can’t imagine myself with anything other than my little boy. I’m so happy for you either way!
Awesome news! Seriously, boys are so much fun!
And the best news is that everything is going perfectly..more than perfectly!
Hugs from across the pond!
Yeah! I’m so excited. He will be so cute!
Again I see your disclaimer and again I feel certain I am in the bad place and again I read anyway and again I am so so happy for you. So happy. A boy snork? How fantastic!!!
So glad that everything is OK. Go Snork!
You know, I was TOTALLY the same– I had always imagined having a baby and in my imagination that baby was ALWAYS a girtl. It never even occured to me we could have a boy. Then our donor went to a psychic who told him that we would be having 2 boys. And I wasn’t pregnant yet, but, I was a skeptic (didn’t think much of psychics) and harumphed the notion away. And then I got preggo that cycle and BAM, it was a boy. And I wanted to find out because even thought I believed I didn;t care about the baby’s sex, I was worried if I discovered it was a boy at birth I may have even the tiniest glimmer of dissapointment and I didn’t want that to happen. So a boy it was.
And I could not be more in love. Little boys are so sweet and wonderful and delicious and while there are far fewer cute boys clothes about there (what is with that?) there is little as cute in life as teeny tiny tighty whities (something to look forward to when toilet training). And the experience has totally changed me. Not just the parenting but the responsibility I feel in raising a boy who will one day be a man, and doing it right. And, its funny, but I can no longer imagine parenting a girl. Although we got another psychic reading (same psychic, long story) and it sounds like we may have a girl in our furture (if only I can get knocked up).
Hooray for ultrasounds! And of course hooray for little snork…
A boy?! I am excited but floored! Are you sure it wasn’t just a snorkel? Wow!! I can’t imagine a better environment in which to raise a son. The world will be a better place with him in it. I’m glad he’s healthy and kicking!
Way to go! When you blogged about hearing the heartbeat on your home doppler I was amazed. I thought technology had come a long way since my last baby was born for you to hear a heartbeat so early. This explains things. When you hear the heartbeat it sounds like hoofbeats, a sort of clippity-cloppidy that’s unmistakable and very fast.
Boys are the BEST! I have three and I must admit to being disappointed the first time because I really wanted a girl. I thought I could relate to a girl better and boys were these noisy ogres who did nothing but fight and break stuff.
Was I wrong.
Boys are loving, loyal and they display none of the cattiness that little girls do. They’re very hail fellow well met and not a bit clique-ish.
Best of all, boys LOVE their mothers.
When I visited friends with girls I was horrified by all the Barbie shoes and Bratz dolls and demands for manicures and fancy hair-dos. Older girls insist on dressing like bus station hos and they’re full of bitchy backtalk.
Give me boys any day.
My sons can fix stuff. They seemed to be born knowing how. They fix my car and fix my computer and drive me places when the weather is bad and I’m nervous about getting behind the wheel.
You’re going to adore having a boy.
Holy shit, that’s amazing. A developing fetus! Looking good there, Cali.
Congratulations!!! Awesome news all around!
Congratulations!! So funny that i also pictured you having a little girl, but I am sure if snork is a boy, you will never be able to imagine anything but your perfect little man once he comes home!
YAY! What wonderful news…Snork is healthy and doing well!
At my 12 week u/s, I also saw what I thought was a penis, but my tech said that due to swollen genitals, girls can quite often look like a boy at that time. After 14 weeks, the swelling goes down and you can tell for sure.
But hell, mine ended up being a boy, so that definitely WAS a penis.
Very cool, congrats.
Joining the crown in being thrilled for you!
Boys love their mommies!! Girls often test out their cattiness on mom. And boy clothes are cute, too. Imagine tiny jeans and shirts. Awwww!
Although, I like nekkid babies best! Fresh from a bath, scrumptious!
that should be “crowd” not “crown”
Yay for alive and healthy! I’m glad you have a sensitive dr. Little boys are gorgeous!
Yahoo!!!! It’s a wiggly squirmy possibly-boy! I’m so happy for you : )
Such great news. And boys are marvelous! I mean I never had a girl so I’m sure there great too…but really being the mother of a boy, totally awesome.
I hope it is a boy! I come from a very female dominated family and I can’t tell you how much I have learned from my son. It is a totally new wonderful experience. CONGRATS either way!!!! Healthy, Yayyyyy!!!!!!!!!
Besides my own pregnancies, I have never been so happy to see someone jump the 12 wk hurdle. Snork looks beautiful!
I read your good, nay, GREAT news yesterday, but was at work and didn’t have time to comment so here I am.
Congratulations! So amazingly pleased for you my dear, and I cannot believe they think they glanced boy parts already. That is one advanced fetus.
I’ll never get tired of saying how happy I am for you.
The Universe is delivering a boy to you so you and your female posse can raise a loving, caring male who will understand women and know how to respect and treat them. Who better to do that than you, with the loving support of your Mom and GM? Rock on!