It’s like a heat wave.

The alarm went off at 6:30am and I woke up realizing that I was grossly & stickily covered in sweat. Immediately I became disgruntled as the heat just fouls up any chance of a good mood. I got dressed rapidly, gave myself an injection while eating a banana (I have mad PIO skillz) and was in the car and on the way to the Northeast clinic by 7am. It was already a bazillion degrees outside but I worked hard (HARD!) to think the cool thoughts.

I had my bloods drawn swiftly but there was a billing issue so I had to wait. (You didn’t think I would escape this cycle without another adventure in billing, did you?) So I collapsed into a mismatched chair in the lobby and tried to find my quiet place. But I couldn’t.

It is a specific kind of hell to be trapped in a room with another persons gleeful parenting.

My hell was manifested in a polished looking European couple and their freakishly long toddler who was impishly adorable the first time she squeaked, “CRACKER!” and then quickly escalated to considerably annoying when she launched into a monologue of “Up! Mommy! Up! Up! Mommy! UP! UP! UP!”

Mommy was playing footsie with her husband and having, what I can only imagine, was some sort of, “Just because we are at a fertility clinic doesn’t mean we can’t pretend we are auditioning for a skinamax movie” fun. Yes. Footsie. In the lobby at the clinic. With a toddler.

And did I mention I was waiting for someone from billing to come talk to me? So we’ve got Billing angst x annoying groping couple x their loud/ignored child= h. e. l. l.

Occasionally the woman would acknowledge the child teetering around the lobby with a stern, “Victoria! Not a toy!” or “VicTORia! No touch!” Which is kind of what I wanted to say to her husband when I glimpsed his arm scooting up under her shirt.

When billing finally called me back I was beyond relieved. Beyond. And thankfully it took less than two minutes to sort out my financial issue (I was trying to pay for blood-work ala cart and they only had the price listed as an ultrasound combo so I had to wait for someone with authority to approve that yes, I can just pay for blood-work.)

And now I am back at Marta’s trying to cool off but not doing such a good job of it.

Yesterday I had a rare treat: an official Baltimore crab-cake brought to me by an official Baltimore hon! The sweet and adorable Gypsy Girl made a special little drive up to visit me as I lolled about in my plaid house-dress. She also brought these amazing hand dipped in fudge cookies that are so good I think I might need to marry them. Best of all- she brought herself. It is always so great to meet someone from our community face to face.

So now I am going to loll some more and watch the fantastic scene of handsome burley men from the water department fix a busted hydrant in front of Marta’s house. That might not cool me off, but what can you do…

BONUS: Newest JibJab for your Thursday political amusement: