Pendulum Out

You know that pendulum I was talking about? How it swings out or swings in?

Right now it is out in happy land. I hope like hell its stays there for a good long while.

There is a positive pregnancy test in my house. From MY pee. At 11 days past ovulation (8 days past a 3 day transfer). I am hoping like hell this one decides to stay around. We all know that lots of shit can happen, but, unlike last time I am making the choice to be elated from the get go. Fuck angst and nerves. Nothing is in my control right now except how I process this fucking awesome step. The choice is mine: submit to the hallway of doom and bad memories or run for the hills to twirl and sing.

I’m twirling.


  1. holy shit!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love how the IVF/FET thing seems to go so fast as it hadn’t occured to me that it was even close enough for you to test yet. I’m so excited and I’d go for the twirling too!!

  2. YIPPEE! I agree with enjoying it to the fullest!

    I think you need a analogy than a pendulum though — how about a rocketship going up and up and doesn’t look back and it keeps on going until it lands on Planet Mommy?

  3. YEYY!!! What could be more happy than visiting a blog for the first time, only to revisit it the same day only to find the best of news. Now I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you

  4. I feel like someone sucker punched me in the stomach… and I couldn’t be happier. All the breath is out of me, oh my god Calli! I am just holding my breath for another nine months…!

  5. Twirl, twirl, twirl, girlie!!


  6. Calli!! Holy shit holy shit holy shit! You made a nugget! We helped make a nugget! I’m so beyond excited for you. You have unequivocally made my day!!

  7. Twirl away darling! I’m elated for you. Much love.

  8. OhmyGOD! CALI, I’M SQUEEING! This is wonderful!

    I’ve been thinking of you a lot, and shit! HOORAY! That’s a nice dark line!

    (After my chemicals, I started to heart the dark lines)

  9. That is WONDERFUL!!! Keep those angsty thoughts at bay and celebrate your growing love (loves??) with… well, nothing you would usually celebrate with!

  10. WHEW!!!! That’s a nice strong line, too! So happy right now.

  11. Congrats!!!!!

  12. YES!!! so friggin’ excited for you. do you think my mental health coworkers would think “I” needed some mental health help if i started twirling in my office? screw ’em! i am doing it anyway! i wholeheartedly agree with reveling in the awesome of right now and discarding the rest of the shit! so so happy for you!

  13. Oh, I am beyond elated for you.

  14. CONGRATS!!!!!

  15. whoooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. Now this is freaking exciting news!!!! I am so happy for you. That looks like a very dark one that plans on sticking around for 9 happy months!

  17. OH My!

  18. Awesome. That’s a very nice line for 11DPO. Twirl away!!!!

  19. It IS a beautiful sight! Twirl away!

  20. martang says:

    Weeee! I’m expecting hourly updates. Okay, maybe not HOURLY – but um, every 12 hours. That’s reasonable.

  21. twirl twirl twirl! congratulations!!!!

  22. Yay!! Doing pirouettes and twirling!!

  23. Holy McShittersteins!!! I am so excited for you. Dancing around the living room :-)

  24. So excited for you!!! This mantra helped with my nerves at the beginning: “All healthy pregnancies start this way.” It just made me feel better.

  25. I have been reading your website and if this is not a time delurk I don’t know when it would be. I teared up reading your post. I hope you are twirling and singing loud.

  26. YEAH!!! I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!! Man that’s a nice strong line too. Happy thoughts!!!

  27. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!!!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Etc!

    I am so excited! Go pee on some more!

  28. And….now I can breathe. YAY!!!

  29. squeeeee!!!!!!!!

    hooray for the positive and double hooray for the twirling…when the crash comes (IF it comes) from all the optimism, go back and read what you wrote and try and remember this feeling

  30. HOLYCRAP!!! Congratulations! I am on 7dpo and was thinking, wouldn’t it be so amazing to get pregnant at the same time as Cali?!? And now you’ve gone and done it! I still have a few days to go before testing… I’m terrified!

    I am sooooooo happy for you! I’ve been thinking about you and refreshing like mad! Stick! Stick! Stick!

  31. As someone circa 1837 would say, “Huzzah!”

    So so pleased for you. It goes without saying that this one(s) absolutely must stick around to see what all the fuss is about.

    My best to you and the progeny!

  32. holy crap! that is fu*king awesome! go you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  33. Kick ASS lady! I am more than happy for you.

  34. TWIRL!!!!!! Oh my god, I’m so happy for you! Hoorayhoorayhooray!!!

  35. I believe I shall twirl with you! Woot!

  36. Awesome!!!!!!!!!!! 😀

  37. Lovely Pic! I am very happy for you and will be waiting to hear more good news as time goes on! :)

  38. LOL I was taking bets with myself on how long until this awesome post!!!!

    So happy for you hun, twirl twirl twirl.

  39. delurking to say YAAAAAAAY lines!

  40. Rock. The. Fuck. On.

    Love it.

  41. What a great sight! I am so happy for you!

  42. YAY! I’m so freaking excited!!!!! STICK STICK STICK

  43. Yay! Twirling right here wit ya!

  44. Wohoooooo!

  45. adding my two little cents, of HOORAY !!! sooooo sooooo excited for you !!!! i know what a thrill those 2 little pink lines can be, and you sooooo deserve it !!!! can’t wait to find out your beta numbers !!!!! YAY !!!!!

  46. How exciting! I am so happy for you. I guess the baby duck was a sign afterall.

  47. I’m SO thrilled for you and wishing you all the best!!!!

  48. Woo hoo! Delurking and twirling, whirling and generally cavorting for you.

  49. Let’s twirl ’til we BARF!

    Or not. How about this? I’ll twirl until I barf. You can laugh at me and then barf from morning sickness.

  50. Now that’s what I’m talking about! Twirl away–you deserve it.

  51. WOW! i’m twirling for you!

  52. Twirling with you!

  53. OMG! YAY STICKY BABY! *twirls*

  54. so happy! so happy! so happy!!!!!!

  55. Hooray!!! I actually clapped my hands like a little kid when I saw your post. Hooray!!!! Twirl, girl, twirl!


  56. OMG!!!!!!!!!!! So excited!!!!!!!!!

  57. don’t stop twirling! Yay!!!! Finally some good news! Yay again!

  58. Twirl away!!! Hurray!

  59. Twirling right along with you!!!

  60. Awesome!!! :) So, so happy for you. <3

  61. Turning cartwheels!

  62. Holy Shit! That was out of no where! I was totally expecting some different post but this is great! Woo!

  63. WOW! That is fantastic!

  64. Oh my god! I’m twirling too! THAT, my friend, is a beautiful sight. Wooohooo!!!

  65. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  66. The hills are alive with the FREAKING sound of music!!!!

    I’m so happy for you!

  67. You know you have my LOUDEST SQUEALS!!!!!!! Huge Hugs Always

  68. Enjoy every moment–no matter how long it lasts.

  69. Oh Yeah!! She’s got two pink lines, whoohoo, oh yeah, oh yeah!!!!! Hon my smile couldn’t get any bigger for you!

  70. I am twirling, twirling, twirling, girl!!! WOW!!!! I never been so thrilled about someone else’s urine in my life!!!

  71. YEA!!! I just gasped in pure joy as I read this. I am so, So, SO thrilled for you. Enjoy it–

  72. YAY!! I’m thrilled for you!!! OMG this is such a wonderful day!!

  73. That sure is a strong looking 2nd line! Sending all my best wishes your way!

  74. YAAAAAAY!!!!! I’m so excited for you!

  75. Weeeeeee! Sending happy thoughts your way!

  76. Okay, so my little comment will be buried, but I still felt it important to add my crossed bits to the party. I will not send out sticky vibes (ugh), but rather, I will implore the summer iota(s) to please hang around & make him/herself comfortable. Pull up a chair, little iota(s), & start, you know, growing some fingernails & the like.

  77. Delurking to say: TWIRL YOUR ASS OFF GIRLFRIEND!!!

  78. Woo Hoo! That is a beautiful photo!

    Embrace the twirly joyful feelings!

  79. That is awesome! Here is to a darker test tomorrow!

  80. Look at that beautiful picture!!!!! Yay!!!! I’m celebrating for you!!!!

  81. congratulations, from a fellow breeder. wishing you all the best.

  82. First time to visit your blog and my what a great day you are having! So many friends, a positive pregnancy and twirling to boot. Congrats!!!

  83. Woo to the motherfucking hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  84. gypsygrrl says:

    i wish you could have heard the Very Audible GASP that escaped my mouth as i scrolled down from the title and the “+” came into my view… i am grateful that no one was walking by the lab, as they would have surely been compelled to investigate and well… “my internet friend is pregnant…” isnt exactly the kind of things i share with the work peeps.

    i am going to join in the twirling…
    much love to you…..
    auntie gypsy 😉

  85. I so needed good news. Thank you for sharing. I am completely and totally thrilled for you.

  86. Totally fucking awesome Cali!!!!

    Pardon the language, but I swear when I get excited.





  88. TTCinDC says:

    That’s thrilling!! Congratulations. You give me hope.

  89. That is just the best- I am so damn happy for you!

  90. I am so excited for you!!! Twirling twirling twirling!!! Yay!

  91. Holy shit!! Congratulations!

  92. Go, Cali, go Cali, go go go Cali! Wheeeeeeee! So so so so so so so so happy for you!!!!!!!

  93. Stephanie says:

    I’m so happy for you! Wheeeeeeeee!!!!

  94. Cerridwen says:

    So wonderful to hear good news!!! I am happy with you and for you today!!! Stick, baby,, stick..stick..stick and grow….

  95. Sharp intake of breath and then tears tickling my cheeks!!!! Oh yay oh yay oh yay oh yay, I had a feeling…

  96. yay! congratulation!! sending sticky, long and boringly uneventful pregnancy vibes your way!

    glad you are choosing to enjoy it! yipppeeeee


  98. Yahoo!!!!

    Great news, and that is one DARK test for 11dpo!!!!

  99. What a beautiful picture! So happy for you!

  100. Woo Hoo!!! I am so happy for you!

  101. so totally thrilled for you! hoping like hell for a very uneventful 9 more months…

    thanks btw for the hook up with shelli and her gang. they are fantastic folks and we had a great time with them…

  102. sarzini says:

    Hoping that pendulum continues to swing out for another 9 months.

    This news has made my week :)

  103. Whoo—hooo!!!! Dizzy just thinking about it!

  104. YIPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  105. Congrats, you’re pregnant!!! twirling with ya…

  106. I’ve always thought that babies love a party. So, I’m getting out the party hats, cupcakes, and kazoos. I’m so excited for you. Hopefully this baby will appriciate the effort and stick around for this party called life. This has been so long coming.

  107. Melissa says:

    happy, happy day!!!!!!!!! What freakin’ awesome news!!!!!! smiles, hugs and congratulations!!!!!!

  108. (Y) 😀

  109. OH MY GOD!!! Have been having a very trying day at work and you just made my day!!!

  110. Woo-hoo! Congrats Cali! I say twirl a little too – and sing and smile and shout it from the roof! So glad you are able to enjoy your positive!

  111. Wow, wow, wow – what a wonderful sight!

  112. that is one kick ass line for 11 dpo! whoot!

  113. There is dancing, there is screaming, there is wooting!!!!!!! I am gleeful!!!!!

  114. sabrina says:

    heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! i’m twirling with you! (sent you an email)

  115. And we are twirling with you my sweet.

  116. Oooooh! I am so so happy for you!!! Congrats Congrats!

  117. debbinla says:

    now THAT is one beautiful picture!!!

  118. OMG Cali! Congratulations!!!!!! That is the best news I have heard in a long time! Congrats again!!!!!!!!

  119. yahoo!!!

  120. Shazam!!!! I am soooo excited for you!!!!! Keep peeing plus signs.

  121. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!!!!

  122. Sorry I’m late for the party!
    Woo-hoo! That is a beautiful picture!
    I can’t wait to see the next one!

  123. Lynn Cameron says:

    Have come back three times today to look at your fabulous +. Smiling from ear-to-ear for you!

  124. I’m LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE yet again! This is the BESTEST news I have seen in a long time!

    There are ten lates up there. One for each of the minimum number of months you will also be “late.” This one MUST stick!

    I’m crying tears of joy for you, on the floor in my closet because this is where I come to write late at night when Frank is already asleep. I’ll have good dreams tonight, for sure!

  125. OH EM GEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are SO happy for you!

  126. Kristin says:

    Super strong positive for so early…and clearly not from HCG shot!! Yippee yahoo!

    Tell your uterus to keep up the good work!

  127. Holy Hell! Yahoo! I’m twirling with you.

  128. Congratulations! My favorite zen-like saying feels so appropriate right now: Leap and the net will appear. Enjoy your leap!

  129. I’m so excited that I’m back a second time to wish you congratulations from J. This is beautiful.

  130. Rebecca. says:

    I so wasn’t expecting to see a test yet……how chuffing exciting!!!!

    I shalt be twirling……I shall be moonwalking for you thus looking cool while celebrating (or maybe not so cool as moonwalking was an 80’s thing…but hey, who gives a shit)

    Fabuloso news!

    Looking forward to seeing the next test (hoping to see at least two a day until you’re 8 months gone!)

    Congratulations from over the pond in England.x

  131. YAY! YAY!! YAY!!!

  132. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


    That is too amazing and perfect and RIGHT!!!!!!!

    We are SOOOOOOOOO happy for you!!!!! OMG!


    (fuck the time difference!!)

  133. CALI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I knew it!!!!!!!!!! Whoo freaking Hoo!!! *dancing and jiving and smiling so hard it hurts*

    This one is going ALL THE WAY!!!!!!

  134. Sarah and BB says:

    WOW!!! That is amazing! I’m am so super excited for you!

    This is the best news I’ve heard in weeks! Congratulations!!


  135. Kathleen says:

    Yaaaaaaaaaay!!! And I’m happy you’ve decided to go with elated. And happy to go there with you. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!


  137. OH MY GOD!!! CONGRATS!!

  138. And I’m twirling! WHEEEEE!!!!!!

  139. Whoopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

  140. ACK! Your blog made me a bright-red pecker-flashing monster again. Please pardon my obscene twirling…

  141. francesca says:

    OMG WOW I just got teary from seeing THIS. THIS is what you and we and the world and your grandmother and mother and YOU AND US have been waiting for. Nothing but swirly, sticky, jump-for-joy, RAD PLAID thoughts…. wow, just wow.

  142. OMG!!! I AM SOOO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!!!!!! Twirling around and dancing with you this morning! WHOOHOOOO

  143. I am SO HAPPY for you!!

  144. Delurking to say:

  145. the universe finally did something right… I’m cheering you on!

  146. Congratulations!

  147. oh, how wonderful! enjoy this great moment (and all that follow!)

  148. woooo!!! congrats, cali!!!

  149. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!! I hope this is IT for you!

  150. fantastic! my sweetie and i have been watching your travels. i am SO happy for this pink line moment! go little embryo go!

  151. Congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, I hope with everything I have that this is your time!!!!!

  152. Woo-hoo! Get to twirling like a mental patient on a mountaintop!!


  153. Well, holy crap! I come to catch up on your blog, and what do I find??????? Oh my gosh lady, I’m literally ON THE MOON happy for you!!!! WOW!!!!!!!! Sing and twirl and CELEBRATE. Holy crap. xoxo

  154. That is the most beautiful pee stick I have ever seen.

    LOVE YOU!!

  155. Wishinghopingpraying says:

    OMG! I am so very happy for you! Wishing you the happiest healthiest pregnancy imaginable!

  156. Heather says:

    OMG!! YEAH!! YEAH!! YEAH!! You twirl and sing girl!!

  157. congratulations!!!

  158. Congratulations!!!!!!! Dance like no one is watching

  159. YES!!! Congrats!

  160. Wonderful!

  161. I know that I am like the 173rd comment, but I am SO VERY excited for you!! Hooray! Yes, a lot can happen but this is the first step — and what a great first step it is!

  162. Oh yay! That is such a beautiful picture! I think I might twirl with you a bit on this one! What awesome news to see today!

  163. Wow. Wow. And, like, y’know, wow. I am so incredibly happy for you.

  164. OMG! This is so exciting. Twirl away!

  165. That’s fantastic news – so happy to hear it :)

    Enjoy your twirling!!


  167. OH MY GOD!!! Fuck me for not reading my blogs!! Oh my GOD!!!

    Oh Cali, I am so thrilled for you. I’m sitting her watching my shitty local news and getting all teary. No doubt my Mom is wondering why I’m finding the weather so upsetting.

    I cannot yay enough. This has made my fucking tomorrow (as it’s already 11.27pm).

    I owe you an email as to why we never hooked up when you were here. Needless to say I’m feeling very sad about that.

    Oh, YAY!

  168. Melissia says:

    Oh, I am dancing as far as my IV tubing will let me go! Have fallen behind in my emails as I have been in hospital without wifi ( how arcane) but am now home, so will email soon. I am over the moon about your positive results!

  169. you know, that + looks a little like PLAID…

  170. HOLY SHIT!
    I’m so sorry I’m behind!


    God, I’m so freaking happy for you!!!!!!!

  171. holy shit you got a lot of comments! lol. go CALI! i stopped my baby mooning this morning because you popping in my mind and i had to go check on you. i am thrilled for you. i’ll be back to check on your beta. oh cali, i told you miracles happen. now its your turn!!!
    you’re creating motherhood!!!

  172. Congratulations! I’m very happy for you! Great news! Take care and keep us posted on your upcoming fun, fast and furious months ahead!

  173. Remember my comment from a few days ago….

    “HOLYCRAP!!! Congratulations! I am on 7dpo and was thinking, wouldn’t it be so amazing to get pregnant at the same time as Cali?!? And now you’ve gone and done it! I still have a few days to go before testing… I’m terrified! ”

    Well I tested this morning and I actually AM pregnant with you!! WOOHOO!

  174. I’m rejoicing with you! HOORAY!

  175. Hey sweetie, I am a million years behind on reading along, so I just wanted to say congratulations! Am looking forward to the next nine months :)


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