Pendulum Out

You know that pendulum I was talking about? How it swings out or swings in?

Right now it is out in happy land. I hope like hell its stays there for a good long while.

There is a positive pregnancy test in my house. From MY pee. At 11 days past ovulation (8 days past a 3 day transfer). I am hoping like hell this one decides to stay around. We all know that lots of shit can happen, but, unlike last time I am making the choice to be elated from the get go. Fuck angst and nerves. Nothing is in my control right now except how I process this fucking awesome step. The choice is mine: submit to the hallway of doom and bad memories or run for the hills to twirl and sing.

I’m twirling.


  1. says

    holy shit!! Yay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love how the IVF/FET thing seems to go so fast as it hadn’t occured to me that it was even close enough for you to test yet. I’m so excited and I’d go for the twirling too!!

  2. Kat says

    YIPPEE! I agree with enjoying it to the fullest!

    I think you need a analogy than a pendulum though — how about a rocketship going up and up and doesn’t look back and it keeps on going until it lands on Planet Mommy?

  3. Tamsen says

    I feel like someone sucker punched me in the stomach… and I couldn’t be happier. All the breath is out of me, oh my god Calli! I am just holding my breath for another nine months…!

  4. says

    Calli!! Holy shit holy shit holy shit! You made a nugget! We helped make a nugget! I’m so beyond excited for you. You have unequivocally made my day!!

  5. says

    OhmyGOD! CALI, I’M SQUEEING! This is wonderful!

    I’ve been thinking of you a lot, and shit! HOORAY! That’s a nice dark line!

    (After my chemicals, I started to heart the dark lines)

  6. tanya says

    That is WONDERFUL!!! Keep those angsty thoughts at bay and celebrate your growing love (loves??) with… well, nothing you would usually celebrate with!

  7. says

    YES!!! so friggin’ excited for you. do you think my mental health coworkers would think “I” needed some mental health help if i started twirling in my office? screw ’em! i am doing it anyway! i wholeheartedly agree with reveling in the awesome of right now and discarding the rest of the shit! so so happy for you!

  8. says

    Now this is freaking exciting news!!!! I am so happy for you. That looks like a very dark one that plans on sticking around for 9 happy months!

  9. martang says

    Weeee! I’m expecting hourly updates. Okay, maybe not HOURLY – but um, every 12 hours. That’s reasonable.

  10. says

    So excited for you!!! This mantra helped with my nerves at the beginning: “All healthy pregnancies start this way.” It just made me feel better.

  11. says

    I have been reading your website and if this is not a time delurk I don’t know when it would be. I teared up reading your post. I hope you are twirling and singing loud.

  12. says

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yippee!!!!!!!! Hooray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Etc!

    I am so excited! Go pee on some more!

  13. says


    hooray for the positive and double hooray for the twirling…when the crash comes (IF it comes) from all the optimism, go back and read what you wrote and try and remember this feeling

  14. says

    HOLYCRAP!!! Congratulations! I am on 7dpo and was thinking, wouldn’t it be so amazing to get pregnant at the same time as Cali?!? And now you’ve gone and done it! I still have a few days to go before testing… I’m terrified!

    I am sooooooo happy for you! I’ve been thinking about you and refreshing like mad! Stick! Stick! Stick!

  15. says

    As someone circa 1837 would say, “Huzzah!”

    So so pleased for you. It goes without saying that this one(s) absolutely must stick around to see what all the fuss is about.

    My best to you and the progeny!

  16. says

    adding my two little cents, of HOORAY !!! sooooo sooooo excited for you !!!! i know what a thrill those 2 little pink lines can be, and you sooooo deserve it !!!! can’t wait to find out your beta numbers !!!!! YAY !!!!!

  17. V says

    Oh Yeah!! She’s got two pink lines, whoohoo, oh yeah, oh yeah!!!!! Hon my smile couldn’t get any bigger for you!

  18. says

    Okay, so my little comment will be buried, but I still felt it important to add my crossed bits to the party. I will not send out sticky vibes (ugh), but rather, I will implore the summer iota(s) to please hang around & make him/herself comfortable. Pull up a chair, little iota(s), & start, you know, growing some fingernails & the like.

  19. gypsygrrl says

    i wish you could have heard the Very Audible GASP that escaped my mouth as i scrolled down from the title and the “+” came into my view… i am grateful that no one was walking by the lab, as they would have surely been compelled to investigate and well… “my internet friend is pregnant…” isnt exactly the kind of things i share with the work peeps.

    i am going to join in the twirling…
    much love to you…..
    auntie gypsy 😉

  20. Cerridwen says

    So wonderful to hear good news!!! I am happy with you and for you today!!! Stick, baby,, stick..stick..stick and grow….

  21. Frannyo says

    Sharp intake of breath and then tears tickling my cheeks!!!! Oh yay oh yay oh yay oh yay, I had a feeling…

  22. says

    yay! congratulation!! sending sticky, long and boringly uneventful pregnancy vibes your way!

    glad you are choosing to enjoy it! yipppeeeee

  23. says

    so totally thrilled for you! hoping like hell for a very uneventful 9 more months…

    thanks btw for the hook up with shelli and her gang. they are fantastic folks and we had a great time with them…

  24. MM says

    I’ve always thought that babies love a party. So, I’m getting out the party hats, cupcakes, and kazoos. I’m so excited for you. Hopefully this baby will appriciate the effort and stick around for this party called life. This has been so long coming.

  25. Melissa says

    happy, happy day!!!!!!!!! What freakin’ awesome news!!!!!! smiles, hugs and congratulations!!!!!!

  26. says

    Woo-hoo! Congrats Cali! I say twirl a little too – and sing and smile and shout it from the roof! So glad you are able to enjoy your positive!

  27. Beck says

    OMG Cali! Congratulations!!!!!! That is the best news I have heard in a long time! Congrats again!!!!!!!!

  28. says

    I’m LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE, LATE yet again! This is the BESTEST news I have seen in a long time!

    There are ten lates up there. One for each of the minimum number of months you will also be “late.” This one MUST stick!

    I’m crying tears of joy for you, on the floor in my closet because this is where I come to write late at night when Frank is already asleep. I’ll have good dreams tonight, for sure!

  29. Kristin says

    Super strong positive for so early…and clearly not from HCG shot!! Yippee yahoo!

    Tell your uterus to keep up the good work!

  30. Rebecca. says

    I so wasn’t expecting to see a test yet……how chuffing exciting!!!!

    I shalt be twirling……I shall be moonwalking for you thus looking cool while celebrating (or maybe not so cool as moonwalking was an 80’s thing…but hey, who gives a shit)

    Fabuloso news!

    Looking forward to seeing the next test (hoping to see at least two a day until you’re 8 months gone!)

    Congratulations from over the pond in England.x

  31. says



    That is too amazing and perfect and RIGHT!!!!!!!

    We are SOOOOOOOOO happy for you!!!!! OMG!


    (fuck the time difference!!)

  32. says


    I knew it!!!!!!!!!! Whoo freaking Hoo!!! *dancing and jiving and smiling so hard it hurts*

    This one is going ALL THE WAY!!!!!!

  33. Sarah and BB says

    WOW!!! That is amazing! I’m am so super excited for you!

    This is the best news I’ve heard in weeks! Congratulations!!


  34. Kathleen says

    Yaaaaaaaaaay!!! And I’m happy you’ve decided to go with elated. And happy to go there with you. Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!

  35. francesca says

    OMG WOW I just got teary from seeing THIS. THIS is what you and we and the world and your grandmother and mother and YOU AND US have been waiting for. Nothing but swirly, sticky, jump-for-joy, RAD PLAID thoughts…. wow, just wow.

  36. says

    Well, holy crap! I come to catch up on your blog, and what do I find??????? Oh my gosh lady, I’m literally ON THE MOON happy for you!!!! WOW!!!!!!!! Sing and twirl and CELEBRATE. Holy crap. xoxo

  37. Wishinghopingpraying says

    OMG! I am so very happy for you! Wishing you the happiest healthiest pregnancy imaginable!

  38. says

    I know that I am like the 173rd comment, but I am SO VERY excited for you!! Hooray! Yes, a lot can happen but this is the first step — and what a great first step it is!

  39. says

    OH MY GOD!!! Fuck me for not reading my blogs!! Oh my GOD!!!

    Oh Cali, I am so thrilled for you. I’m sitting her watching my shitty local news and getting all teary. No doubt my Mom is wondering why I’m finding the weather so upsetting.

    I cannot yay enough. This has made my fucking tomorrow (as it’s already 11.27pm).

    I owe you an email as to why we never hooked up when you were here. Needless to say I’m feeling very sad about that.

    Oh, YAY!

  40. Melissia says

    Oh, I am dancing as far as my IV tubing will let me go! Have fallen behind in my emails as I have been in hospital without wifi ( how arcane) but am now home, so will email soon. I am over the moon about your positive results!

  41. says

    I’m so sorry I’m behind!


    God, I’m so freaking happy for you!!!!!!!

  42. says

    holy shit you got a lot of comments! lol. go CALI! i stopped my baby mooning this morning because you popping in my mind and i had to go check on you. i am thrilled for you. i’ll be back to check on your beta. oh cali, i told you miracles happen. now its your turn!!!
    you’re creating motherhood!!!

  43. Vicki says

    Congratulations! I’m very happy for you! Great news! Take care and keep us posted on your upcoming fun, fast and furious months ahead!

  44. says

    Remember my comment from a few days ago….

    “HOLYCRAP!!! Congratulations! I am on 7dpo and was thinking, wouldn’t it be so amazing to get pregnant at the same time as Cali?!? And now you’ve gone and done it! I still have a few days to go before testing… I’m terrified! ”

    Well I tested this morning and I actually AM pregnant with you!! WOOHOO!

  45. says

    Hey sweetie, I am a million years behind on reading along, so I just wanted to say congratulations! Am looking forward to the next nine months :)


  1. […] I’m exicted and trying my best to hold on to that happy place becuase every now and then i get the oh my god what if this doesn’t work.   Mind you as I type the kids are downstairs fighting so hows that for a justapositon of thoughts.   So right now I’m riding he wave of I’m on my way, and being super duper happy for Cali! […]

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