It’s like a heat wave.

The alarm went off at 6:30am and I woke up realizing that I was grossly & stickily covered in sweat. Immediately I became disgruntled as the heat just fouls up any chance of a good mood. I got dressed rapidly, gave myself an injection while eating a banana (I have mad PIO skillz) and was in the car and on the way to the Northeast clinic by 7am. It was already a bazillion degrees outside but I worked hard (HARD!) to think the cool thoughts.

I had my bloods drawn swiftly but there was a billing issue so I had to wait. (You didn’t think I would escape this cycle without another adventure in billing, did you?) So I collapsed into a mismatched chair in the lobby and tried to find my quiet place. But I couldn’t.

It is a specific kind of hell to be trapped in a room with another persons gleeful parenting.

My hell was manifested in a polished looking European couple and their freakishly long toddler who was impishly adorable the first time she squeaked, “CRACKER!” and then quickly escalated to considerably annoying when she launched into a monologue of “Up! Mommy! Up! Up! Mommy! UP! UP! UP!”

Mommy was playing footsie with her husband and having, what I can only imagine, was some sort of, “Just because we are at a fertility clinic doesn’t mean we can’t pretend we are auditioning for a skinamax movie” fun. Yes. Footsie. In the lobby at the clinic. With a toddler.

And did I mention I was waiting for someone from billing to come talk to me? So we’ve got Billing angst x annoying groping couple x their loud/ignored child= h. e. l. l.

Occasionally the woman would acknowledge the child teetering around the lobby with a stern, “Victoria! Not a toy!” or “VicTORia! No touch!” Which is kind of what I wanted to say to her husband when I glimpsed his arm scooting up under her shirt.

When billing finally called me back I was beyond relieved. Beyond. And thankfully it took less than two minutes to sort out my financial issue (I was trying to pay for blood-work ala cart and they only had the price listed as an ultrasound combo so I had to wait for someone with authority to approve that yes, I can just pay for blood-work.)

And now I am back at Marta’s trying to cool off but not doing such a good job of it.

Yesterday I had a rare treat: an official Baltimore crab-cake brought to me by an official Baltimore hon! The sweet and adorable Gypsy Girl made a special little drive up to visit me as I lolled about in my plaid house-dress. She also brought these amazing hand dipped in fudge cookies that are so good I think I might need to marry them. Best of all- she brought herself. It is always so great to meet someone from our community face to face.

So now I am going to loll some more and watch the fantastic scene of handsome burley men from the water department fix a busted hydrant in front of Marta’s house. That might not cool me off, but what can you do…

BONUS: Newest JibJab for your Thursday political amusement:


  1. Did Gypsy give you my hug? She was under strict orders to do so. :) And, break a leg!!

  2. (I can’t actually get to the boards to see if you answered there — how long are you in _____ for?)

  3. Dude, just wait until 2 months from now (because I’m completely optimistic) and you will be a baby FURNACE. Seriously, you will never need a heater, or a long sleeved shirt even. You will produce enough heat to warm Luxembourg.

    Have a great rest of your week!

  4. Okay, those same groping people were at my OB/GYN on Tuesday! It was gross. There needs to be a sign- No Cell Phones, No Making Out.

    Now, can you get Gypsy Girl to bring me fudge dipped cookies?

  5. anyone & everyone: ALL HUGS WERE DELIVERED!!! :)
    it was fabulous to meet you, darling calliope… i am glad you enjoyed the crabcake, and the cookies… you may marry them. i am marrying the yummy confections i brought home ๐Ÿ˜‰

    PS ~ it was a SUNdress. “housedress” makes you sound OLD. hehe

  6. oh. and enjoy the water-worker men. the guy who gave me directions yesterday was kinda yummy in a strong-handsome-burly-working-hard-outside-in-this-heat way. tho you know who i really love (guitar man! hehehe)…


  7. Ok what is it with people and their need to grope in public. And with their child present also. Some people have no common sense. Enjoy the workers, nothing like some great scenery.

  8. Wow, what an incredibly obnoxious couple you encountered at the office…some people…sigh…

  9. Sorry about the groping couple at the RE’s and about the heat. It always amazes me in the summer to go up north from FL and find that pretty much everywhere else is HOTTER. And on the east coast, more humid. Weird.

  10. I hate that crap at the RE’s office.

    My RE’s office doesn’t allow their patients to bring children, There are signs everywhere but, without fail, at least one trip per cycle there is someone in there with a child, usually with several children. The last time that I was there this woman trouped in with her 4 year old and her year old twins and her mom to watch them. I kept wondering why in the hell that woman hadn’t just left the kids with her mom at her home, or hire a sitter or whatever. I have never brought our son there, even though the doc there helped us to conceive him, because I haven’t forgotten the way it feels.

  11. Awful groping couple! And makes you wonder what they’re doing in an R.E.’s office, especially if they are ignoring the child they already have. Double awful.

    I didn’t ever have that happen at the R.E.’s, but a cat fight almost broke out once when one woman asked another woman to stop talking on her cell phone, condescendingly pointing out the sign to that effect, on a particularly crowded, stressful Saturday and the woman on the cell phone got defensive and started threatening the other woman with violence. Nurse Poker Face had to come and give a speech about how we’re all here for the same reason and it’s hard for everyone, so can’t we all get along? Ugh.

    The groping sounds worse though.

    Glad your bloodwork is done and that you successfully navigated your way through billing once again.

  12. Hey, how do you do a PIO on yourself? Our next cycle will probably coincide with a business trip for my husband, and I hate going to the RE’s to get the injection.
    Oy, Northeast heat. I remember it well.

  13. How sure are we that they were married? They sure don’t sound married.

    I’ve got my fingers & toes crossed for you!

  14. Groping??? In a doctors office??? For real???? Some ppl are just weird!

  15. I am reading and wishing, hoping, praying!

  16. Footsie… wow!!! Well enjoy your day and I hope you cool off :)

  17. “Getting Freaky at the RE’s”…hmmm…I don’t think it’ll win any XXX movie awards.

    I almost wet my pants when Hilary knocked the shizzle out of Bill when he tried to say “cigar.” Hee-larious.

  18. Sorry about the annoying toddler/PDA/billing situation. I still have my fingers crossed!

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