A quick* update for those standing by

(*warning. The name of this post is a lie.)

Thanks so much for all of the well wishing & good mojo being vibed towards my innermost lady parts. I was so blown away by the affection that I was rendered incapacitated by a deep and peaceful nap. mmmmm.

The transfer went well. I arrived to the clinic with the required full bladder and butterflies. They kept me waiting a ridiculously long time in the lobby. Well any amount of time with a full bladder is ridiculous. It was only made worse by the dumb fact that I had opted to sit in what turned out to be a high traffic area. Since I am an amazon girl with long legs I had to uncross them every 25 seconds to allow someone enough room to walk by. So every 25 seconds I was in bladder hell.

Finally I was called back and taken to an office to sign papers consenting to the transfer and then whisked back to the sterile area to prepare for the procedure. I looked to see if my favorite embryologist was in the lab, but since she worked all weekend she had today off. I was, however, able to leave her a little note thanking her for being so cool. I mean let’s be real, the chances that any music was played in the lab over the weekend just because I asked for it are pretty slim, but you have to adore any scientist that will placate me with good intentions.

So I stripped down to near nothing, donned the paper robe, booties, and lunch room lady hat. (bonus points go to the nurse that remarked that the paper hat made my “eyes look so blue”. Will now begin a new paper hat wearing phase.) I was handed a Valium and then we slowly made our way back to the transfer room.

Once in the room and loaded up onto the table an embryologist in a hazmat looking suit appeared with a clipboard. This would be the scientist with the stats that I had been holding my breath for all morning. And thank fucking lawd she had some good news. All four embryos were still alive and doing well. It wasn’t until I started to cry a bit that I realized just how afraid I was that they wouldn’t make it to today.

She handed me a little black and white photo and told me that the two blobs were grade A 8-celled embryos. She then let me know that the other two were grade A 7-celled and that they looked strong enough to re-freeze. (as she is explaining the re-freeze process my mind wanders to this weird visual of lasagna- something that also re-freezes well.) She leaves the room and I am left alone with this photograph. It looks so much like the photograph that they gave me in December that I begin to wonder if it is the same one.

I stare and stare at the photo and try to muster up some sort of emotion about the image, but nothing comes. I was just in a haze of relief. I try to look at the picture like one of those magic eye things from the early 90’s. You know- those pictures that look like a series of buildings except if you can get your eye to focus a certain way you can suddenly see the entire cast of the A-Team. So I am gazing at the blobs, trying to see a toddler in plaid, when the door bursts open with a Hungarian woman wheeling a traveling ultrasound machine and singing, “helloooooooooooo!”

Hello!

The RE is close behind and we get down to business. My feet are put in position and the table is turned almost upside down. My crotch is now eye level to the standing mid-sized RE. The paper sheet is pushed up and sort of tucked under my boobs and cold gel is squirted on my gut. The Hungarian woman pulls out the ultrasound mallet, or whatever you call it, and begins pressing down and rolling it around verifying that my bladder is full enough. I focus on not projectile pissing into the face of the RE.

Bladder is full (for reals, scientifically verified and everything) and they thread a small catheter into my uterus. The RE notifies the embryologists that she is ready and they load up this summer crop of iotas into me. I can watch the ultrasound machine monitor as liquid flushes into the uterus. Somewhere on that slip and slide were my embryos. Wheee!

They do a quick double check to make sure that the embryos are not stuck in the bottom of whatever device it is they have them in and then quickly the catheter comes out and I am lowered from my headstand position. I get a pat on my thigh and a thumbs up from the RE and then she and the Hungarian exit stage left.

I then am informed that I must remain on the table, resting, for twenty five minutes. Full bladder, people. Full. I am told that if I really need it I may employ the use of a bedpan in twenty minutes, but if I can make it to twenty then I might as well shoot for the full twenty five. I realize that this is me usurping control over a situation that will soon be way out of my control.

Twenty five minutes fly by, I think I even drifted off to sleep, and then I am allowed to relieve my bladder, get dressed, and go forth into the world. The amazing Marta was ready for me in the lobby with a chocolate bar and a banana and we made the drive back into town for my acupuncture session. (thank you Dr. Molly for making that possible!) Acupuncture was smooth and mellow and was followed by an epic nap that I have only just now stirred out of.

The next thing to count down to is blood work on thursday to make sure that the progesterone and estrogen levels are ok-very glad that I will still be up in the northeast to have that done. Beta is to be done on July 26th but ya’ll know I will be testing before then.

So now we wait. I am thrilled that some header art orders have come in as that will be a fantastic thing to submerge my brain into for the next two weeks. It’s hard to obsessively poke your boobs when photo-shop is being used. (not saying that I won’t try tho’)

Side Note: Right now Mother and GM are at the doctor’s in Florida. Mother is having her yearly done and GM is having her quarterly. I am worried about how fast GM has declined since her last exam. One of the questions I compiled for Mother to ask the doctor is what should we expect next. I mean we are firmly in the final stage of Alzheimer’s but that does not mean we are at the final stages of something larger. I know there is no way to know, but I just want to be prepared.

*I just glanced up at the title for this post and chuckled. “Quick”. Ha ha.

Comments

60 Responses to “A quick* update for those standing by”

  1. HeidiNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 9:38 pm

    Fingers and toes and legs and arms and hair on my legs and…anything else I can find on my body to cross is crossed for you!!

    Love and blessings.

  2. gypsygrrlNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 9:47 pm

    hooray for the *quick* update… i’ve got everything crossed for you…
    now go back and lounge around and take another nap!!!

    love you!
    gypsy

  3. IoNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 9:50 pm

    Dude.
    So.excited.nervous.hopeful for you

  4. PJNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 9:51 pm

    Fantastic account of what an FET is like! I loved reading it.

    I haven’t gotten that far, but when I did my mock transfer it almost killed me to have my bladdar that full for so long! It’s an awful feeling!

    Best of luck to you!

  5. starrhillgirlNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 9:51 pm

    Ok, that’s 12 days for your, 14 for me. Let the count down begin.

  6. NissaNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 9:52 pm

    I am thinking of you and wishing you the best

  7. ShawnaNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 10:01 pm

    I am praying for you and your embryos.

  8. Aunt BeckyNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 10:02 pm

    I’m so freaking pumped for you! Go EMBIES!

  9. JNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 10:15 pm

    I passed a repair shop this afternoon called “Northeast Car Care” However, my brain looked at it and saw “Northeast Car Clinic” I immediately thought of you. =) The next sign after the car place was called “The right way” I thought you would like to hear that.
    Good luck chica!
    Stick little guys, stick!

  10. NNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 10:16 pm

    Everything I have is crossed for you.

  11. SarahNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 10:31 pm

    I have everything crossed for you. Even my bladder. Well, OK, maybe not my bladder. I remember that pain all too well…

  12. ElowynNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 10:32 pm

    Okay, iotas, stick around now, kids. Auntie Elowyn promises you, um…knitted something. Or kickass hand-me-downs. Or…something. Behave now, ya hear?!

  13. JessNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 10:35 pm

    “I focus on not projectile pissing into the face of the RE” = the funniest thing I have ever read! I’m thinking wonderful thoughts for you and your embryos. Can’t wait to follow along during these 2 weeks!

  14. BrigindoNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 10:40 pm

    I’m glad everything went so smoothly. I can’t imagine how the waiting feels but I’ll be sending positive vibes you’re way for the next 2 weeks.

  15. BlondieKateNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 10:43 pm

    I’m so glad your bladder has been relieved, and that the crop has been sewn.

    Lots of love to you.

    Seeyoubye.

  16. bleuNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 10:49 pm

    Let the countdown be quick and fortuitous!!!!!

  17. MichellNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 11:02 pm

    I’m so glad that the FET went well and hope the TWW goes by quickly and with fantastic results. I do have to say, doesn’t that whole bladder full thing suck? I too was so worried about peeing mid procedure. The only thing good I can say about previous RE is that immediately after the procedure he put a cath in to drain my bladder. Felt so freaking good.

  18. LollyNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 11:27 pm

    Words cannot express the joy :-)

  19. JenNo Gravatar on July 14th, 2008 11:55 pm

    I am not fully convinced that these full bladder things aren’t just some kind of joke by the medical community. It just seems so MEAN. (I peed twice before my last full bladder procedure and still elicited the sympathy of the ultrasound tech.)

    I’ve totally got my fingers and toes crossed! I am terribly excited! Tell those embryos that if they wait around a year or so, I will give them candy! And cake!

  20. briNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 12:08 am

    Oh dear heaven how much I want this for you. So so so so much.

  21. GeohdeNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 12:09 am

    Calliope, may I wish you a heartfelt ‘good luck’?

    xx

    J

  22. sabrinaNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 12:12 am

    sounds terrific cali… i’m so happy for you… this HAS to be it dammit!

  23. melindaNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 12:15 am

    Awesome! I’ve been checking obsessively.

    I’ll be thinking and praying and hoping for you!

  24. SamNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 12:15 am

    Thinking good uterine thoughts for you!

  25. MoNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 12:30 am

    So glad things went well! I too would have cried upon seeing the healthy iotas. Now hang in there for a long ride little ones!

  26. tbeanNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 12:32 am

    Hoping like a madwoman from here.
    The world will make more sense when you finally are pregnant.

  27. JenNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 12:36 am

    I’ve got all crossables crossed for you! I hope your two embies are settling in, and your two little lasagnas are freezing up nicely.

  28. VNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 1:34 am

    Wishing you lots of luck and sending you a ton of positive vibes. ((hugs)).

  29. SonyaNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 1:36 am

    I have EVERYTHING crossed for you too! Think good posiive thoughts and let the energy flow!

  30. AmyNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 1:57 am

    Thinking of you! SO glad everything went well.

  31. LauraNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 2:21 am

    Love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  32. LoNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 2:25 am

    Glad you got such great news about the embies. I think Barry White was the ticket.

    Fingers and paws crossed here for you. xoxo

  33. annacyclopediaNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 2:29 am

    Wishing and hoping and praying for you and for sticky little ones. May the wait be peaceful, full of hope, and end with the most joyful news imaginable.

  34. isn't it pretty to think soNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 2:48 am

    So happy for you! Looking forward to our super duper positive betas in 2 weeks!!!

  35. KerryNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 4:37 am

    So glad you updated….you’ve been in my thoughts all day. Sending you lots of positive sticky vibes.

  36. NancyNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 4:38 am

    WooTheFuckHoo!!!!

    So, did they put the 2 in? Or the 4? I saw all 4 survived and 2 looked strong enough for refreeze, but I missed exactly what the details were.

    If you put 2 in, what are their clever little names? You gotta have clever little names.

    I’m sure you already know this, but I’m going to tell you anyway. You know I have 2 girls already. So I am really freaked out on the idea of multiples. I know that if it happened, I would still love them and we’d make it work, but I REALLY wanted a singleton.

    We went in there with the idea of putting the best ~one~ in, and then a 2nd lower quality one. (mine were all frozen immediately after fertilization too). I told my husband to not let the doctor talk him into anything. Two at the most. Done. Finished.

    The RE walks in and says “good news! You have amazing embryos!”.

    (The back story… 15 eggs retrieved. 9 mature. 9 fertilized with ICSI and immediately frozen to await a FET. I named them The Mod Squad. All 9 taken out of freezer, 7 survived thaw.)

    I didn’t know what I had yet and it was quickly outlined … I have (1) 8 Cell Grade A, (1) 7 Cell Grade A, (1) 6 Cell Grade B, (1) 5 Cell Grade B, (2) Grade C, (1) Grade D.)

    RE wants us to consider putting back all the Ac & Bs. FOUR. No way I say. No way hubby says. I tell RE we wanted to put back at the maximum, two. “No” is his response (not actual answer, as he’d do what we request, but he is highly against it. He says he wouldn’t go lower than 3 (due to my lining issues). But then, he says, he’d rather put that 4th one in me and let my body figure out what to do with it. He said it wouldn’t refreeze and he’d rather me take care of it instead of him having to discard it. They leave us alone.

    I tell hubby it’s up to him because I am now attached to them and don’t want to throw any of them away. He says “okay” and I inform RE we are putting back 4.

    The Mod Squad is now defunct so after ET, my RE gives me the picture and introduces them to me as “The Fab Four”.

    I swear, it was Ringo (the 5 celled grade b) that made it! :)

    That was a lot of commenting. Sorry! But I’m just so damned excited for you!!!

  37. KatNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 5:06 am

    yeah! crossing my crossables!

  38. KattyNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 6:40 am

    I really, really hope that this is your lucky time.
    Kx

  39. SCYNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 10:30 am

    I’m so full of hope and sticky vibes right now!!! I nearly peed my pants at the image of projectile peeing on the RE’s face :) *giggle* Stick babies stick! Will be with ya on the 2ww all the way my dear!!!

    HUGS!!!

  40. veeNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 11:04 am

    No way could I have stayed on that table for another 25 mins without a bed pan - get you with your iron bladder!! So excited for you hon!

  41. jayNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 11:48 am

    fantabulous!!!! got everything crossed here. this MUST MUST MUST the The One. much love xxxx

  42. KristineNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 12:22 pm

    Wonderful!!! I have everything crossed for you. I’ll be away until August 3rd so I’ll be looking for details when I return. Hugs for GM too!!!

  43. DebbieNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 1:16 pm

    Hooray! Glad to hear all went well!

  44. NutellaNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 1:35 pm

    Stick stick grow grow!!! Been thinking of you and am wishing you well!

  45. PiquantMollyNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 1:40 pm

    You did GREAT, Cali! My bits would have burst if I had to hold my piss for that long, Jesus.

    Sending be-fruitful-and-multiply thoughts to your uterus.

  46. MelodyNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 1:41 pm

    Strong enough to re-freeze?! Those must be some tough little embryos you’ve got there. But of course, their mama is pretty tough. I had to use the bedpan.

  47. RebeccahNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 1:58 pm

    I’m so dang excited for you! Will be chewing my fingernails to nubs on your behalf for the next 2 weeks…

  48. OliveNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 2:08 pm

    Hooray - I am so excited for you!!! I was crossing my legs when I read your description of your full bladder. I once had a dental procedure done while having to pee. I was lying down, tilted back and about half way through I thought I was going to DIE from having to pee…and your pee experience sounds ten times more intense.

    Anyway, I’m so glad it all went so well. I’m thinking lots of good, sticky thoughts for you.

  49. DommeNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 3:23 pm

    Good luck!!

  50. gpNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 3:24 pm

    Glad all went well… despite tha extremely full bladder.. know that feeling. they have even asked me in the past if i wanted to let out a lil to relieve some pressure.. YAH right! no way could i just release a lil under this pressure.. Anywho just wanted to send somemore luck your way!! :)

  51. KatNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 4:06 pm

    Yeah! Everything crossed for you! I’d say you so deserve it, but as I’ve learned over the years, that isn’t how it works unfortunately, their are a lot of us who deserve it and don’t get it sooooo, I’ll just say I truly hope you are one of the lucky ones :) May the next 2 weeks just fly by!

  52. mrsbluemontNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 4:27 pm

    I read this with my hands folded up to my face. I’m so happy for you dear and beyond thrilled that all four did so well. I’m going to stay crossed. xo

  53. SarahNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 4:32 pm

    Sorry I haven’t commented recently–been in a bit of a cave. I’m sending good sticky vibes to your iotas.

  54. amanda d. (formerly byrdlady)No Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 5:49 pm

    Oh baby, oh baby, i hope this is it!!!! So happy your are safe and sound up north and that everything has gone smoothly so far. You know, the 23rd is my 30th birthday, and i think if you’re gonna test early, that should be the day. i mean, i selfishly speak for myself, but I can’t imagine a better birthday present than two pink lines for you. :)
    Love you much, lady.

  55. megNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 6:06 pm

    I am sooooooooooo happy for you Cali…. this sounds perfect. Good thoughts your way!

  56. MNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 6:16 pm

    Funny. I was eating lasagne as I read your post. Anyways, COngratulations to a smooth transfer & I’m glad those embryos hung in there for the thaw!!!

  57. KymberliNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 6:45 pm

    Beyond perfect. Now for the beyond perfect 2ww and the beyond perfect results and everything else that follows to be beyond perfect, as well.

    As always, continued prayers for GM.

  58. niobeNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 8:56 pm

    I am hoping as hard as I can.

  59. TheMurielsNo Gravatar on July 15th, 2008 11:02 pm

    I am sending all my good wishes your way.

    x

  60. oneofhismomsNo Gravatar on July 16th, 2008 2:40 pm

    As much as I kvetch about doctors, I am so glad that they exist to slide 8-celled embryos into my invisible friends! I am very excited. I think this is a very very lucky baby-making week indeed (I’m not biased or anything) but all my extra mojo is headed your way, my dear. Seriously.

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