A quick* update for those standing by

(*warning. The name of this post is a lie.)

Thanks so much for all of the well wishing & good mojo being vibed towards my innermost lady parts. I was so blown away by the affection that I was rendered incapacitated by a deep and peaceful nap. mmmmm.

The transfer went well. I arrived to the clinic with the required full bladder and butterflies. They kept me waiting a ridiculously long time in the lobby. Well any amount of time with a full bladder is ridiculous. It was only made worse by the dumb fact that I had opted to sit in what turned out to be a high traffic area. Since I am an amazon girl with long legs I had to uncross them every 25 seconds to allow someone enough room to walk by. So every 25 seconds I was in bladder hell.

Finally I was called back and taken to an office to sign papers consenting to the transfer and then whisked back to the sterile area to prepare for the procedure. I looked to see if my favorite embryologist was in the lab, but since she worked all weekend she had today off. I was, however, able to leave her a little note thanking her for being so cool. I mean let’s be real, the chances that any music was played in the lab over the weekend just because I asked for it are pretty slim, but you have to adore any scientist that will placate me with good intentions.

So I stripped down to near nothing, donned the paper robe, booties, and lunch room lady hat. (bonus points go to the nurse that remarked that the paper hat made my “eyes look so blue”. Will now begin a new paper hat wearing phase.) I was handed a Valium and then we slowly made our way back to the transfer room.

Once in the room and loaded up onto the table an embryologist in a hazmat looking suit appeared with a clipboard. This would be the scientist with the stats that I had been holding my breath for all morning. And thank fucking lawd she had some good news. All four embryos were still alive and doing well. It wasn’t until I started to cry a bit that I realized just how afraid I was that they wouldn’t make it to today.

She handed me a little black and white photo and told me that the two blobs were grade A 8-celled embryos. She then let me know that the other two were grade A 7-celled and that they looked strong enough to re-freeze. (as she is explaining the re-freeze process my mind wanders to this weird visual of lasagna- something that also re-freezes well.) She leaves the room and I am left alone with this photograph. It looks so much like the photograph that they gave me in December that I begin to wonder if it is the same one.

I stare and stare at the photo and try to muster up some sort of emotion about the image, but nothing comes. I was just in a haze of relief. I try to look at the picture like one of those magic eye things from the early 90′s. You know- those pictures that look like a series of buildings except if you can get your eye to focus a certain way you can suddenly see the entire cast of the A-Team. So I am gazing at the blobs, trying to see a toddler in plaid, when the door bursts open with a Hungarian woman wheeling a traveling ultrasound machine and singing, “helloooooooooooo!”

Hello!

The RE is close behind and we get down to business. My feet are put in position and the table is turned almost upside down. My crotch is now eye level to the standing mid-sized RE. The paper sheet is pushed up and sort of tucked under my boobs and cold gel is squirted on my gut. The Hungarian woman pulls out the ultrasound mallet, or whatever you call it, and begins pressing down and rolling it around verifying that my bladder is full enough. I focus on not projectile pissing into the face of the RE.

Bladder is full (for reals, scientifically verified and everything) and they thread a small catheter into my uterus. The RE notifies the embryologists that she is ready and they load up this summer crop of iotas into me. I can watch the ultrasound machine monitor as liquid flushes into the uterus. Somewhere on that slip and slide were my embryos. Wheee!

They do a quick double check to make sure that the embryos are not stuck in the bottom of whatever device it is they have them in and then quickly the catheter comes out and I am lowered from my headstand position. I get a pat on my thigh and a thumbs up from the RE and then she and the Hungarian exit stage left.

I then am informed that I must remain on the table, resting, for twenty five minutes. Full bladder, people. Full. I am told that if I really need it I may employ the use of a bedpan in twenty minutes, but if I can make it to twenty then I might as well shoot for the full twenty five. I realize that this is me usurping control over a situation that will soon be way out of my control.

Twenty five minutes fly by, I think I even drifted off to sleep, and then I am allowed to relieve my bladder, get dressed, and go forth into the world. The amazing Marta was ready for me in the lobby with a chocolate bar and a banana and we made the drive back into town for my acupuncture session. (thank you Dr. Molly for making that possible!) Acupuncture was smooth and mellow and was followed by an epic nap that I have only just now stirred out of.

The next thing to count down to is blood work on thursday to make sure that the progesterone and estrogen levels are ok-very glad that I will still be up in the northeast to have that done. Beta is to be done on July 26th but ya’ll know I will be testing before then.

So now we wait. I am thrilled that some header art orders have come in as that will be a fantastic thing to submerge my brain into for the next two weeks. It’s hard to obsessively poke your boobs when photo-shop is being used. (not saying that I won’t try tho’)

Side Note: Right now Mother and GM are at the doctor’s in Florida. Mother is having her yearly done and GM is having her quarterly. I am worried about how fast GM has declined since her last exam. One of the questions I compiled for Mother to ask the doctor is what should we expect next. I mean we are firmly in the final stage of Alzheimer’s but that does not mean we are at the final stages of something larger. I know there is no way to know, but I just want to be prepared.

*I just glanced up at the title for this post and chuckled. “Quick”. Ha ha.