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Passing along a must read
Bleu posted a link to an great read on her blog today. I clicked over and was thrilled to find something that I think anyone that has struggled with (in)fertility would embrace. The name of the article? ‘Support Your Local Infertile.’ Says it all, doesn’t it?
Of course I don’t mean us bloggy people, but I know that through the course of years full of struggles and treatments and failures there have been moments of hurt feelings. Because, let’s face it, NOT getting pregnant when you so so so want to sucks a giant fat turd. And our friends want to support us through it (& if they don’t well isn’t that telling?) but many times they haven’t a clue what we are going through inside or out.
In the 3 years that I have been trying I, as I am sure many of you have as well, have become a bit of an expert on reproduction. There is all sorts of shit that I didn’t learn in 8th grade biology class. Why did we spend so much time on urban legends and things never to do with a glass coke bottle? You’d think an all-girls school would be more with it on the cycle situation. We had fricken wicker baskets of tampons in the bathrooms, for period’s sake!
If your friends are anything like mine they are actually really interested in what you are up to. They want to know what the drugs do, what the procedures are like, and it is sort of comforting in being able to share the information with someone that has no clue. Not that dishing with the interpeeps isn’t great, but isn’t it fun to tell someone about lupron? Or explain cervical mucas? I live for that.
However, so many times we get annoyed when a friend doesn’t say the right thing or respond the right way. There is no right way. See? Don’t they get that every day we need something different? That has got to be annoying as hell. Being a F.I.P. (friend of infertile person) is a tough job and this article is a great place to start.
My favorite bit: “Hope lives outside of logic. Both hope and the lack of hope have a purpose in our process, and you can support your friend by accepting that.”
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That was a very interesting article. Thanks for sharing!
guess my friends are nothing like yours. they have a don’t ask, don’t tell policy. come to think of it., I think they suck. that’s why I love the blogosphere. heading over to read that article…